AIBU advice needed about HORRIBLE teacher?

[MrsShitty]

on behalf of my sister who is very upset. Her son is a very good year three child...very well behaved and has been excelling at school, on the g&t register and loves school...his reports are always that he is a good and kind boy, often voted as class rep etc.

This term his class have been taught by 2 teachers both of whom teach year 4...they were sort of tasters for nexyt year to get the DC used to their new teachers.

Yesterday my nephew came home and was very upset. He said that Miss T had screamed in his face...my nephew is almost deaf in one ear due to problems from birth and has had both eardrums burst in the past and this woman screamed so loud his ear was hurt...he cried in pain.

She screamed because my nephew had been going for a pencil and had tripped over another childs leg....she accused my nephew of kicking the other boy and would not listen when my nephew AND the other boy tried to explain he had tripped. INstead she yelled repeatedly as loud as she could in his face that she would not be talked back to and then she told him to sit on the carpet and removed his golden time...she threw his book at him.

My hephew says she has also shouted at him for other minor things such as dropping his book once. She also banged the chair of a little girl up and down with the child still sitting in it....whilst shouting "Go to the toilet then!" and the little girl was crying.

My sister says her normally happy boy has been in tears and could not sleep for three nights until all this came out last night. He is afraid of this woman and his poor ear is still hurting.

My sister has made an appointment to see the HT tonight she does not want to speak to the teacher....she feels she has nothing to say to the woman. I must add that her son is very sensible and very truthful he would not lie....the teacher is new and this is her first job.

What measures should my sister ask to take place? What should the outcome be? And who should she write to in the event that she is still not happy after the meeting? The LEA or board of governers? Thank you. I am very upset about my nephew who has had multiple operations on his ears and only has 30% hearing in the one this woman hurt.

Well it does sound dreadful. Hopefully the school will shed some light on it all for your sister. I have confirmed with every new teacher my son has ever had that they are aware that his ears are so sensitive. They have already known, every time without fail. Even the lunchtime staff know. He does have a statement though so maybe that's why.
If it genuinely happened as he said then it is shocking and needs to be dealt with.

I think that sometimes parents feel embarrassed confronting the teacher themselves, it's quite a big thing to do, and will go to the head instead.

I think she should be careful how she approaches it though.

I have known of 2 parents who 'ranted' at the Head and threatened to remove their child from the school. The Head's reaction was "Ok, go on then. If that's what you want". One of them did, but then had to go to a worse school down the road, the other backed down and stayed but it must have been embarrassing for them!

Why do you keep mentioning how bright he is?

Are bright children somehow different when it comes to possible exaggeration?

Going to the Head should be a last resort when the issue hasn't been resolved with the teacher.

Or behaviour?

some of the 'naughtiest' children are the 'brightest' so it doesn't really mean anything.

You have posted twice about this and in each thread the majority of people have said you need to talk to the teacher calmly.

I think you've had some good advice here, and would be wise to take heed.

And I can almost guarantee that, if the head knows your sister wants a meeting about the specific teacher, that teacher will be nowhere near the meeting.

Dd is dead clever. And drives the teacher bonkers. And can fib for Britain.And is brilliant at doing the "horrible teacher sob sob" thing.

Just sayin'.

I agrre that you have been given some very good advice. I also agree that being gifted and talented etc. has no bearing on a child's behaviour or truthfulness. I had this rammed home very hard the year I taught in a Grammar School - the brighter the children, the more subtle the bad behaviour, which is much harder to handle in many ways.

See even this could be the child's own interpretation...

"She then pushed him towards the carpet and slapped his book at him. She threw it and it landed on his legs"

She may have 'guided' him firmly towards the carpet and thew his book 'to' him.

Again, unless your Sister speaks to the teacher, how on earth will she know?

I posted on the other thread.

Just to say that my DD had an out of control teacher this year who had to be removed because she couldn't control the class. It was sad because she was straight out of teaching college (I feel for her, what a horrible way to start your career) and she was given my DDs class full of challenging children mid-way through the year as the very experienced teacher my DD had before was made deputy head suddenly. Lots of parents eventually complained, including another teacher! She's been replaced now and the new teacher is wonderful.

One of my DDs friends was really affected by it. Her mum would keep phoning me telling me the DD was complaining of headaches because of the teacher shouting etc. I have no doubt about this, but, my DD said that this girl was also the worst behaved in the class, and wound the teacher up something rotten.

So, although this teacher does need looking into - calmly and openly - perhaps you need to look at the DNs behaviour as well, no matter what he is saying. Am I the last parent in the world to take everything my 8 YO DD says with a pinch of salt?

Housewife was she supply? How did they remove her so quickly? (not doubting your story, just curious.) How horrible though for everyone

hilly close up noise - right into the ear is different tbf, rather than just background noise. But the fire alarm at school would be sure to send ds2 into a tizz but he has a mild learning difficulty as well.

The op does sound a little hysterical (sorry mrss) but don't underestimate the effects of loud noises on hearing impaired children. .

Hi FolkGirl
I don't know how they got her (live in a different country!). We suddenly had an announcement after Xmas saying there was a change. Was totally gutted as DD had the strictest and most experienced teacher ever (hence why she had lots of challenging children) and suddenly they replaced her with a poor newbie!

They didn't replace her that quickly - it was after 2 months. And the poor teacher had to give in her resignation voluntarily. That meant that it wouldn't go on her record that she'd been asked to leave. Luckily, they were able then to give the job to the existing p.e teacher (no idea who's teaching p.e. now!) so the kids already knew her.

I really did feel for her. I wasn't one of the parents who complained (although having spoken to a few of them there were quite a few) because my DD has had a lot of disruption lately and I just thought 'as lond as she's happy at school, I'll just make up for the lack of teaching at home'. But it's been bliss since the new teacher started.

If she had to resign it sounds like she was 'properly' employed rather than supply. How awful. The thing is, you need to be really strong and have immense self belief to be a good teacher (on top of the other stuff). That could well have spelt the beginning and the end of her career.

Glad to hear all is well with the new teacher now!

A very good friend of mine is a teacher and she did her PGCE in the primary school both our children attended at the time. She was shadowing one of the teachers in a class where the son of a mutual friend was. We always heard from our friend what a bright, well-behaved boy he was, and he seemed nice enough - we had no reason to doubt it. But my friend said that this boy was an annoying PITA in the classroom setting. He wasn't naughty or disruptive, but he was incredibly needy and attention seeking, always wanted to monopolise the class discussions, was a terrible suck-up, a tell-tale, needed constant praise and recognition, and constantly interrupted the teacher with his interjections and observations, which he thought made him a good student but actually made him by far the most irritating child in the class! My friend could never look at him in the same way after that. She said she found it a real challenge to overcome her negative feelings towards him, as she knew he wasn't being 'bad' and she found it really hard not to snap at him, or dismiss what he said, or deliberately overlook him when he had his hand up, because she had an overwhelming desire to bring him down a peg or two.

I have no doubt that she is an excellent teacher though. They are human.

Is this the same OP who posted about her daughter (also bright and gifted) who was too sensitive to get a lift with another child's parents?

This may have been a genuine incident, but until you get all the facts straight and hear the other side of the story, bursting in there all guns blazing would get you a reputation as a parent with one of those special snowflake children.

And it was (possibly) a horrible incident but doesn't make her a horrible teacher.

Folkgirl - I agree. I can't think of a worse way than to start your teaching career than with a class of disruptive 7 YOs who loved their last teacher and would only ever see you as a sub.

My own DD is terrible at sustaining attention (for a while ADHD was floated) so I have no doubt she didn't help the situation. Same for a few of her friends.
I had them over recently (12 girls - eek) for a party and was amazed by how little any of them listened to me. (And I'm used to girls, being as I'm a Brownie leader)I was walking them across the park and some of them bolted to the other side and were about to cross a busy road without waiting for me. . I literally had to bellow at them. Even the sensible girls that day behaved horribly - shrill and demanding. As a pack, they were just dreadful and I felt drained by the end of the party. It made me much more sympathetic to that teacher because I don't think she stood a chance.

Does your dn have a hearing aid? If he only has 30% hearing in that ear, he should do.

Just ask. The chances are your DN is telling the truth in a chronological order of events but 8yo's lose perspective the more upset and angry they get which makes things seem 100 10 times worse.

I would leave your sister to deal with this - your anger runs the risk of making her more angry and the meeting tonight not going well - at all.

OP You seem to be getting a lot of hassle on here - Disclaimer: I haven't read all responses as I'm meant to be working

When my son was in year 3 he had an abusive teacher. i.e. screaming in their faces, not letting them go to the loo, tearing up work in front of the class, calling the children liars when they compained about another child.

Nope this isn't what DS told me - this is what I saw with my own two eyes.

And no, she wasn't inexperienced, or a supply teacher. She was at least 50 and had been teaching all her life. Most of the parents were scared of her, let alone the poor children.

Op, I hope your sister gets something sorted with the HT - the suggestion of asking other parents is a good one, if others tell the same story then maybe something will be done.

We are the only defence of our DC when they're small and in my opinion my sister is doing what is right.

Too bloody right

How can refusing to talk to the teacher in question be right?

That's not right at all...it's just childish.

All she has to do is ask the teacher politely what happened

Then if she's still not happy, go and see the Head.

If everyone went straight to the Head without any other communication, they'd be dealing with more tittle tattle from parents than they do from children.

Madness.