To want to poke this school-gate mum in eye

[TheStandard]

The mother of one of the kids in my DS's (Y2) class seems to be pathologically anxious about something, and almost literally every drop-off and pick-up, she completely monopolises the teacher's attention (drop-offs and pick-ups are from the classroom door).

She gets there early, plants herself physically across the door frame, and starts wittering on to the teacher about her DD. I try not not to eavesdrop, so I don't know whether her concerns are serious, but surely if you had that much to say to the class teacher you'd make a bloody regular appointment?

My DS stood out in the pouring rain this morning because he physically couldn't get past her to get into the classroom. I shoved him in in the end but she still didn't bloody notice/apologise.

I've stood there for up to 10 minutes in the past, waiting for my opportunity to ask the teacher a 'yes/no' question that was only going to take 15 seconds.

This woman's lack of self-awareness is making me want to do unpleasant things.

Yes, poke her.

Why couldn't you just say a loud and cheery excuse me, child coming through, raining out here etc etc? Sounds like subtleness and good manners would be wasted on her.

Ooh, is that dispensation?

I'm just pleased her DD and my DS will be going to different schools in September. I'm not sure I could hack another four years of this.

I've had situations in Infants (where the DC have to wait in line to be released to their parent/guardian) and a mum was talking to the teacher for 10 flipping minutes- in the drizzly rain. She should've said to wait till after the children have gone.

But some parents have other children to pick up/drop off.

I'm surprised the teacher doesn't say anything to her.

You've got a choice of:
Say to the teacher that she should attend to the children first or
Say to the mum "Can this wait" (because you do this every fecking day)
Poke her in the eye.That's what brollies are for

That's a good idea Greatdomestic, I will try that next time. I'm usually so busy seething (which I admit is not constructive) that I can't think of anything other than roaring at her.

Oh god there's always one isn't there? At First School the head use to come out and open the gate in the mornings to say morning to the parents and this one Mum monopolised her every morning for the whole ten minutes the doors were open. It was so annoying.

We weren't allowed to see the teachers without an appointment.

There's none of this at Middle and High School. I never set foot in them.

Ha ha 70. I have thought in the past that the teachers should deal with her a bit more firmly, but I think she's one of those people who simply doesn't leave space in the conversation for someone to say 'hang on a mo, why don't you come in and we'll talk about this when I've sent the children home'.

Anyway I'm glad AINBU. I'm going to go for the 'COMING THROUGH!!' great-big-cheesy-smile option. Maybe if I do it twice a day for the rest of term she'll get the message...

Oh yes Cinny, we had the High School Parents' Evening last night. Some people don't know what 5 minutes is.

Aaargh I was hoping this would all stop when we got to Juniors!

I was lucky with my older DS, I didn't notice any of the parents in his class being like this.

The worst of it is, this woman is perfectly OK once you prise her away from the classroom doorframe, so I don't want to be mean.

'Special Snowflake Syndrome' -

We have a BigManInAnAnorak? that stands in the doorway of ours, so no one can see which kid is being let out.

I am going to order a crossbow. Do you think that we could get a co-buying discount?

DS's TA goes hammering on the door after 4 minutes in parents evening. That is brilliant

You should take this up politely with the Headteacher. At pickup time the teacher is in the doorway to ensure that children are picked up by the right person and make sure that none slip out un-noticed. Parents who want to speak to the teacher should be told that they must wait until all the children have been collected.
One way to deal with this would be for the school to put a letter out to parents explaining, then have some spares for the teacher at the door. Parent starts to talk, teacher politely asks them to step inside for a little while and wait, handing them the letter.
This is actually a safeguarding issue, so the school should appreciate it being brought to their attention. Children can easily slip out of the door while the teacher is distracted and it is really unfair to put the teacher in this position. It is really important that the teacher has her mind on the children and collection process at this time of day and isn't distracted.

At our First School the teacher would just stand up after 5 minutes. Once she said 'moving on' and she didn't mean to the next subject she meant to the next parent.

I suggested getting a kitchen timer.

at special snowflake syndrome

She sounds like a nightmare, yes poke her accidentaly then say "oh goodness I'm so sorry it's just your in the doorway so often it's like your part of the furniture 'tinkly laugh' still I'd be the same if my child had the same 'hushed voice' problems "

It'll drive her bonkers (disclaimer obviously only funny if the child doesn't have any problems and the mum is simply a pita attention seeker of course)

Seriously though her poor child, that is going to get really embarrassing really quickly if she keeps it up

We have one of them too. She also has a double buggy so takes up all the room by the door. She takes over the teacher every afternoon. We also had the misfortune to be behind her at parent's evening. We were allowed 5 minutes she was there 25. I complained to the teacher as we had another appointment that we would now be late for. She gave me a knowing look. When the children were in Reception we were allowed in until after Christmas then only the children. She completely ignored this rule insisted on going in with her child leaving the buggy blocking the doorway for everyone else.

Go for it OP. She'll never get the message though. maybe she's starved of adult conversation and this is her 10 mins a day to fit in a whole days conversation? her poor child is probably thinking "just go mummy, for the love of god".

As others have said, I'm surprised the teacher hasn't knocked this on the head. She must dread every drop off and pick up.

Seriously, the only person who should be in the doorway is the teacher, you need to make the school aware of this and get it addressed for her sake. Children have slipped out in these circumstances. How would you feel if you arrived to find your child gone? And what would happen to the teacher?

It must be so hard not to poke her! I agree with others about speaking to the teacher.

Bet the teacher LOOOOOOVES her

not

(my sister is a teacher - pushy parents are her worst part of the day)

She should just make an appointment!

Maybe you could suggest/ask the teacher to get an appointment system going if there isnt one already in place?

If she's blocking your way in the rain, make sure you have an anti-socially large umbrella and whack her on the head with it, blaming a large gust of wind. That might help get the point across?

Also agree about speaking to the teacher. If your school has a weekly newsletter it could go in as a 'safety issue'.

'loud and cheery excuse me, child coming through'

Just poke her in the eye. Will solve any future problems. She will move quickly next time she sees you.

Her DD must be embarressed as well. In Yr 2 (so children are 7yo or so) they'll be asking "What's your mum asking the teacher".

Children do cotton on quickly who's mum is who's and if a parent talks to the teacher, it can only mean trouble in their eyes.

Is "Special Snowflake Syndrome" a PFB thing?

May use as a nn for DS. He's 12 yo. He'll be