To want to poke this school-gate mum in eye

[TheStandard]

The mother of one of the kids in my DS's (Y2) class seems to be pathologically anxious about something, and almost literally every drop-off and pick-up, she completely monopolises the teacher's attention (drop-offs and pick-ups are from the classroom door).

She gets there early, plants herself physically across the door frame, and starts wittering on to the teacher about her DD. I try not not to eavesdrop, so I don't know whether her concerns are serious, but surely if you had that much to say to the class teacher you'd make a bloody regular appointment?

My DS stood out in the pouring rain this morning because he physically couldn't get past her to get into the classroom. I shoved him in in the end but she still didn't bloody notice/apologise.

I've stood there for up to 10 minutes in the past, waiting for my opportunity to ask the teacher a 'yes/no' question that was only going to take 15 seconds.

This woman's lack of self-awareness is making me want to do unpleasant things.

I can confirm this starts at nursery. One of the girls in DS' toddler class has both parents drop her off and pick her up every day. Every day they stand and talk to the nursery staff for hours whilst a queue of parents quietly seeths behind them.

I've overheard the conversations. PFB/SS managed to count to 5 last week and has managed a wee in the potty. The mother is pregnant again, and much bump stroking is indulged in by the dad.

There is a mum like this at our school. Her son has SN but only a handful of parents will be aware of this. It is important for this particular child that there is regular communication between parents and teachers about what is going on.

Obviously, she shouldn't be blocking the door and the teacher shouldn't be letting her do this. But if you don't know what is going on, I wouldn't judge too quickly.

What are they actually saying to the teacher? I've always wanted to know as I feel like a bad mum that I've got nothing to ask a teacher on a daily basis

Ah the waggle finger mother after several years of bullying teachers twice a day in this fashion she was asked remove her children from the school for her behaviour. Not saying this is the case here, but it was in DD's class.

Oh god we have a mum like this in my ds's class too! She is a nightmare. If the teacher doesn't come out on time in the morning then she is in a parent's face, or the headteachers, or even a kid's. Then come 3 o clock she is the same all over again. As well as her kid having Special Snowflake Syndrome (love it!), she seems to have no social skills or tact. She is OTT in every way and I've never known someone so widely disliked.

My DS has SN - I keep well back from the door and know if there is anything I need to know his teacher or TA will come to me or send a message with DS for me to come talk to them, or I will get a phone call/letter.

The parents who stand right in the door as the kids go in drive me crazy too, my DS walks up, can't get in, stands and looks for a minute, then comes back to me as he can't get in. I encourage him back to the door, can't get in, stands and looks..... and on it goes. He's getting a little better at it now but going into school is upsetting enough for him, and this really doesn't help. WHY do they need to be RIGHT in the door?!?!?!

Dont come to our school then! There area lot of very rude idlewives who just seem to hang around doorways or on the (narrow) front steps talking crap. It drives me nuts. Now I just manhandle them if they don't respone to 'excuse me' (with a smile). I am sure they now think Brits are just rude and impatient. No, some of us have things to do.

You need to write to the headteacher so that he/she can then put a paragraph in the newsletter/special communication reminding parents what is and isn't allowed at the beginning and end of the school day.

Special Snowflake Syndrome

I studied with the OU and there was ALWAYS someone like this in the class who wasted dominated the tutor's time. And they were always the most dull and boring people so what they had to say was DUUUUUUH!

Pinktrees - I suspect that, if this mother is as thick-skinned and self centred as she sounds, she would simply ignore a note in the newsletter - it wouldn't apply to her and her Special Snowflake.

Which is why bluntness is the only answer.

"Do you realise how rude and obstructive it is when you stand in the doorway at almost every drop off and pick up, monopolising the teacher's attention?" Invite me to school pick up - I'll do it.

Sounds like a case for an MN Ninja.

Pm me, OP, and I'll sort it out for you.

As a teacher it is a nightmare, being an old bat I have many various ways out of being continuously monopolised, but other teachers are more polite, nicer, want every parent to feel that their child is special and prioritised or just not assertive enough when faced with an egocentric and obsessive mother who has no sense of proportion.
They are often highly intelligent women who had a good job before deciding that Being A Mother was the next step. So all that energy, focus and intelligence becomes wrapped up in reading levels, national curriculum, pursuit of excellence and vicarious living through the child. It's all they want to talk about at length, they research constantly and are full of observations and suggestions related to their child.
The teacher is both target and captive audience. Support from other parents pointing out the selfishness is the only hope or support that many teachers have.

Hear Hear Fallen

I think anxiety is another factor in creating this kind of parent

In our class the parents line up with their children to hand in extra work that they have done at home. Whilst I agree that selfish behaviour should be challenged by all, in this instance the teacher needs to intervene. 'That's lovely. Please put it in your book bag in future and I will look at it when I am less busy.'

Special tray for me, for special work.
Many teachers are afraid of complaints being made about their attitude by parents, so they are compliant. It's much easier for a parent top bitch about Mrs N being uncaring and thoughtless and crushing little Galahad's spirit by not listening or appreciating him. Much harder to complain because Mrs B who tries to make time for every child but creates queues trying to cope.
Easier when there was a painted line on the playground parents weren't allowed to cross TBH.

We have that line Fallen but it dosen't apply to some. I have only once had to speak to the teacher impromptu. I just held up my finger implying that I wanted to speak to her,waited til the children had gone into the class and walked with her to the class door.

Yadnbu. We've had a couple of those in the past. Poor teacher.

We have to drop our children at the school gate in the morning and collect them there in the afternoon. Parents are not allowed in the playground never mind in the classroom doorway. We have to make an appointment if we want to see a teacher. It works well.

Just re-read that this is year 2. FFS

So judgemental, just say 'excuse me'. Perhaps, her child is going through something difficult right now or has special needs....

Why don't you just tell her to get out of the doorway and stop blocking everyones way. It's very rude of her to block the children from coming in when it's raining outside but I'm shocked that no parent has told her to move, especially when your child is getting wet!