This think this is so totally and completly wrong?

[OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere]

Its that time of year again.
I usually try and grab your attention with some wittily provocative AIBU thread title.
I just cant be arsed tonight.

I want you to give blood.
I want you to register to be a bone marrow donor.
I would even quite like you to sponser me for my 10k run.

But you know what?

I just want her back.

This time 6 years ago I was watching her die. She died on 27th April 2006 aged 14 years.

A life so full of promise.
Such a clever, beautiful child.
My daughter.

She has two brothers she has never met. She has one brother that couldnt bear to live in the house she lived and died in and has now moved out. She has a little brother whose autistic brain cannot make sense of her leaving but cannot allow him to stop wondering where she is.

I miss her. She should be here.

I should be telling her to get on with her essays and stop spending her money on nightclubs.

I spent an hour and half in boots today scanning photos of her onto disc because we didnt even have a digital camera when she was alive.
I will spend tomorrow in her little memorial garden at the front of our house. Tidying it and replanting.

There is no sense to what happened to her. It makes no sense.

Please give blood
www.blood.co.uk
www.nhsbt.nhs.uk/bonemarrow/
www.justgiving.com/Billiegirl

No one has to say anything.

We are too old for bone marrow but are going to give blood. Xx

We are too old for bone marrow but are going to give blood. Xx

I have booked in to donate blood next week. I am now looking into bone marrow donation ((hugs))

I can't give blood because I had a transfusion in the peak of mad cow scare (my family love this!)

Will be on just giving first thing Monday when I get paid.

I always think of you and Billie when I hear a certain female singer!! You are so inspiring and I am so sorry for your pain x

neddle you can give when breastfeeding, just not until the child is 6 months.

I'm also scared of needles but have given over 25 times now. The staff are brilliant if you tell them and will do everything they can to help you. I also have low blood pressure, but find I tend to be ok as long as I don't donate on an empty stomach. The only times I've fainted it's because I haven't eaten first.

God help me but I am finding the DCs hard to deal with atm.

OH has gone to work, the house is a mess and the DCs are screeching.

I just want to be on my own in a quiet, tidy room.

mrsd What can you do? Early bath and bed? Maybe being on your own would be too sad.

When is oh back?

Can you put on her favourite music and get the ds's dancing or singing?

Can you tell i dont know what to suggest

Im on my own all night between school disco runs so ill keep you company and we can pretend we are in a quiet room alone (fat chance)

Your beautiful Billie had once again moved me to tears.

I have sponsored you, and on the bone marrow register and will give blood as soon as possible.

I have a friend who recently died following a bone marrow transplant for aml. Just devastating. I can't begin to imagine how much harder it is to accept when it is your beloved child :(

Be kind to yourself. It is not surprising that kids playing up is doing your head in today. Is there someone who can come and help? I would do but I am in the north east and if memory serves me correctly you are in London?

I can understand you want some calm and quiet today.
I already give blood and am on the bone marrow register, thank you for having the bravery to think of others at what must be such a painful time.

I have sponsored you - I wish I could do more.
Take care

I've sponsored you, Mrs DV. Too old for bone marrow and I haven't given blood for yonks, pre-DD I had something called ITP which meant I couldn't, but as it also supposedly meant I couldn't get pregnant, I will go back to the Drs and check if it's still the case.

I'm looking at DD typing this and welling up as I do so. Can't imagine the pain you must be feeling, there are really no words. Go easy on yourself and do something for you if you can. Hopefully your OH will be home soon?.

Im so, so sorry I cannot imagine what your going through :( you are so brave x

I have sponsored you for your run x

Would love to donate but not sure if I can as pregnant?

Thinking of you today Mrs DV.

I gave blood for the first time this year after an MN boot up the arse. DH and DD1 are also donors and I signed up for the NHS bone marrow register (too old for Anthony Nolan).

I'm sure Billie's garden is beautiful.

When I got up this morning, giving blood wasn't on my list of things to do today at all. I've been putting it off to be honest as blood tests always make me go a bit wobbly and I was scared.

But you gave me the kick up the arse I needed MrsD and when I looked on the website, the next session near me was today. It was too late to book online but I called the number and they told me I could just drop in....so I did - before I chickened out!

So, for the first time today, I've given blood - and it was nowhere near as bad as I thought it was going to be, in fact, with the lovely people and the free biscuits, it was actually quite enjoyable :)

Thank you for giving me the impetus to go MrsD. So sorry it has to be under these circumstances though x

Your posts are making me sort of cry.
I say sort of because I cant cry but I can feel like I am (IYSWIM )

The little boys are in bed and the slightly bigger boy is about to go to bed. OH isnt back till after 11.

I did a quick clean up and the animals are all fed so I can sit in my tidy and quiet room now.

Blathers how brilliant. What an amazing thing you did today.

My sponsership is now nearly £1,800! I cant believe it.

Thank you all so much. That money has mostly come from MNers.

This is the time that she died. This was when I was saying goodbye for ever.

Its like it happened to someone else.

There is a post on a similar topic here:
imaginatemum.wordpress.com/2012/04/26/will-you-give-blood-please-because-i-cant/

It is actually even more important this year than ever that people give blood. The NHS are very, very, very concerned that with the Olympics and the Jubilee stocks will run down as people have too much fun partying to think about donating. But at the same time that more than ever will be needed.

I cannot give (have had a transfusion) but hope many, many will. Sorry for your loss and thank you for your timely and moving post.

Just xx

MrsDV, you know that as long as she is alive in your thoughts, your memory, your heart - she will always be with you.

xx

It was the least I could do MrsD. I'm already on the Bone Marrow register and will try to remember to sponsor you just as soon as DH gets paid.

I can't imagine the pain you must be feeling today

I can't give blood at the moment as my iron levels are too low but I still try every 6 months and have been able to donate twice and I try and encourage my friends to donate regularly too (I would love to be able to donate more but my iron levels are just far too low to allow this). I've also signed up to the Anthony Nolan trust and the organ donor list too.

I persuaded DP to sign up to the Anthony Nolan trust too and it turns out he is a match to someone so he's now in the process of doing all the extra tests and stuff to donate - so remember lovely mners, even if you're not able to donate, please keep encouraging friends/family to do the same, it could still make a difference.

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow OP xxx

We fall to the earth like leaves
Lives as brief as footprints in snow
No words express the grief we feel
I feel I cannot let her go.
For she is everywhere.
Walking on the windswept beach
Talking in the sunlit square.
Next to me in the car
I see her sitting there.
At night she dreams me
and in the morning the sun does not rise.
My life is as thin as the wind
And I am done with counting stars.
She is gone, she is gone.
I am her sad music, and I play on, and on, and on.
(Roger McGough)

Thanks for your post. I am a regular donor but will make sure I give soon. I've just sponsored you too, wish it could be more.

I am so, so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. I can't even imagine the pain it causes you and your family.

I started donating blood a couple of years ago after a friend of mine asked friends to attempt to donate back the 67 units of blood her young son received during his treatment for leukaemia - despite being needle-phobic. It's one of the most rewarding parts of my life.

Would it be really distasteful of me to post a link to remind people of the symptoms of childhood cancer and the importance of early diagnosis? I'll risk it anyway www.bechildcanceraware.org/

Sadly, the Belgians don't want my mad cow infected blood or bone marrow. Tis disappointing. I have sponsored you, but know there is nothing I can say that can ease your pain today. She is beautiful. She will always be a part of you. Many ((((hugs)))) xxx

I know about that little lad curiosity . I managed to donate a pint to add to his target before I went all bloody aneamic and had to have a year off

I am in contact with a lot members of Be Child Cancer Aware.

Thank you all again.

Please no one aplogise for not being able to sponser me more (or not being able to sponser me). No amount is too small. It all helps and it all means so much.
Just as your kind thoughts do.

I registered today to give blood - having been refused many times in the past due to floating blood in the blue tube. (apparently I'm weird!) I rang them up. I could not donate to today because I have had hepititis G? It was diagnosed as viral.

So I rang my lovely GP who has given me the forms for blood tests to check my liver (I was abroad at time of diagnosis so no notes in the UK). If they are clear I will be given the all clear for blood and bone marrow donation.

My DS is blood type A (I'm O) so I will persuade him to donate when he's old enough too.

I glad you got some time in your front garden, your decorations sound beautiful and I'm sure Billie will approve.