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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This think this is so totally and completly wrong?

160 replies

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 26/04/2012 21:38

Its that time of year again.
I usually try and grab your attention with some wittily provocative AIBU thread title.
I just cant be arsed tonight.

I want you to give blood.
I want you to register to be a bone marrow donor.
I would even quite like you to sponser me for my 10k run.

But you know what?

I just want her back.

This time 6 years ago I was watching her die. She died on 27th April 2006 aged 14 years.

A life so full of promise.
Such a clever, beautiful child.
My daughter.

She has two brothers she has never met. She has one brother that couldnt bear to live in the house she lived and died in and has now moved out. She has a little brother whose autistic brain cannot make sense of her leaving but cannot allow him to stop wondering where she is.

I miss her. She should be here.

I should be telling her to get on with her essays and stop spending her money on nightclubs.

I spent an hour and half in boots today scanning photos of her onto disc because we didnt even have a digital camera when she was alive.
I will spend tomorrow in her little memorial garden at the front of our house. Tidying it and replanting.

There is no sense to what happened to her. It makes no sense.

Please give blood
www.blood.co.uk
www.nhsbt.nhs.uk/bonemarrow/
www.justgiving.com/Billiegirl

No one has to say anything.

OP posts:
StrandedBear · 27/04/2012 09:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BanalChelping · 27/04/2012 09:19

I hope a donation for your 10k run is OK (too puny to be allowed to give blood). Thinking of you.

TroublesomeEx · 27/04/2012 09:29

I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and sending love to you, your family and your beautiful daughter today.

xxx

MrsPinotGrigio · 27/04/2012 09:31

So sorry for your loss. I don't know your daughters story as I am new to Mumsnet but your post has moved me to tears...I cannot begin to imagine how you must feel each year.

Unfortunately I can't give blood as I have had 2 transfusions in the last year but I will visit your justgiving site as soon as I get paid.

Thinking of you & your family with love.

ragingmull · 27/04/2012 09:36

Thinking of you and your family today MrsDV x

Calabria · 27/04/2012 10:29

I gave blood on Monday. I've been a regular donor for almost thirty years, only having a break when I was pregnant and the first year of breast feeding. (They didn't want me even though I was willing to donate).

I am so sorry for your loss.

MagsAloof · 27/04/2012 10:37

Thanks for giving em the kick up the arse I needed, MrsDeVere. I have just registered to give blood.

Thinking of you and your lovely girl today x

MrsSnaplegs · 27/04/2012 10:38

Thinking of you and Billie today x

Horopu · 27/04/2012 10:43

Just want to send a hug from New Zealand. I can't donate now I like here (always did in the UK but they don't want CJD here), I rarely post but you are such an amazing Mum, you were all so lucky to have Billie and she was so lucky to have you.

thefurryone · 27/04/2012 10:48

Sorry the weather might stop you getting out in the garden, I'll keep my fingers crossed for some breaks in the weather for you.

Is there anywhere that you used to go with Billie that has some happy memories that you could visit?

Or maybe a training jog/ run for your 10K whilst listening to some music that she loved? Running in the rain can sometimes be quite nice, provided it's not freezing and you know there's a prospect of a hot shower at the end of it.

Hope these suggestions are out of place.

chinam · 27/04/2012 10:50

I gave my first blood donation recently and also signed up as a BM doner. I did this as a direct response to your posts about your beautiful girl. I know it is cold comfort but one part of Billie's legacy will doubtless be save other lives though the amount of people who now donate because of what she went through. Take care of yourself today, and keep posting about Billie if you can. She sounds like an amazing person - as do you. xx

LooLilly · 27/04/2012 10:54

I'm too old to be a bone marrow doner and my blood is not wanted Sad.

I have donated to your fund raising.

Your dd was so beautiful and you are doing something amazing in her memory. She would be so proud of you I'm sure.

motn · 27/04/2012 10:59

MrsD
thinking of you and Billie today. You must miss her so.

Donated blood for many years. Can't now.
Country where I live has automatic organ donation...you have to opt out rather than opt in.

nothruroad · 27/04/2012 11:04

Thinking of you all today, much love.

AlbertoFrog · 27/04/2012 11:06

Wish I'd known about donating cord blood - we would have done that.

Regular blood donor here - if you're a parent then you may find the break quite relaxing and a wee chocolate biscuit afterwards is a nice reward.

If you can't then please think about sponsoring MrsDV ... if we all donate even £1 it'll add up.

What a beatiful girl your Billie was Mrs DV. Good luck with the run.

MadonnaKebab · 27/04/2012 11:14

Thinking of you today Mrs DV
Only able to donate money, not blood, but have done so
(it seems lots of us are not acceptable as donors)

CMOTDibbler · 27/04/2012 11:17

MrsDV, they won't let me give blood now, but I'll be nagging everyone I know to do so, and to sign up to be a BM donor.
Your gorgeous dd shines like a star in your photos.

For anyone near a Blood Service centre, please think about becoming a platelet donor - I used to do it, and its very worthwhile as some patients will need huge amounts of platelets. They are open late, and you get a lovely lie down and food while donating

MissFaversham · 27/04/2012 11:30

Just booked to give blood x

LulaPalooza · 27/04/2012 11:32

I can't donate blood or bone marrow as I tick a number of the bastard no boxes.

I can donate £ though, so I did.

Love and light, Mrs DV

xxx

Emandlu · 27/04/2012 11:38

I don't know your story, as I am new here, but both my Dh and I are regular blood donors, and my DD is counting down until she can give too. My Dh recently donated bone marrow also and I am on the bone marrow register too.
I did enquire about platelets but was turned down as I was told they didn't need any more donors, but I will contact them again.

I can't imagine how it must feel. Much strength to you.

Original poster
OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 27/04/2012 11:58

Thank you everyone.
I really mean it.

For all of you that give blood and are on the register. For all of you that have sponsered me.

For all of you that cant give blood or BM and are too skint to sponser me - thank you too. Your messages and thoughts help me. I mean that.

There is so much we can all do even if we think we cant.

Billie showed me what was possible. That child showed me what bravery and dignity really is.

I have been for a run today. I have been to homebase and bought tons of solar butterfly lights and even son rather MNy bunting lights Smile

Some bedding plants and hundreds of summer bulbs.

The OH and the big DS have put up a gazebo so I will be able to clear up the garden and make it neat. Ready for planting up the plants I will buy off the market tomorrow (soooo much cheaper).

I am overwhelmed by the support on my justgiving page. You know there is over £1,400!!!

Thank you x

OP posts:
Justfeckingdoit · 27/04/2012 12:07

I feel your pain so much and will be giving blood even though I'm needle phobic.

Always weep a bit at your posts.

entropygirl · 27/04/2012 12:55

I am astonished to see that on a first pass it would seem I can actually sign up for Nolan....(can't donate blood due to being a recipient, which rules you out of most bone marrow too)

I will talk it through with Dh and see if we can't both get on.

lunar1 · 27/04/2012 13:12

I tried to join the bone marrow register after one of your previous posts, they wont have me due to psoriasis. I have started giving blood though.

I always cry when i read your posts.

theodorakis · 27/04/2012 13:16

So so sorry. I have had a few operations in the Middle east and the rule was, on the NHS you had to give 2 units one week before the op. If you are anaemic you have to nominate a family or friend to do it instead. One unit is saved for the op, the other put in the bank. This seems a sensible thing to do, I wonder why more places can't do it?
Also, rare blood groups get 2 paid days holiday a year to give blood on a rota basis as needed.