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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

This think this is so totally and completly wrong?

160 replies

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 26/04/2012 21:38

Its that time of year again.
I usually try and grab your attention with some wittily provocative AIBU thread title.
I just cant be arsed tonight.

I want you to give blood.
I want you to register to be a bone marrow donor.
I would even quite like you to sponser me for my 10k run.

But you know what?

I just want her back.

This time 6 years ago I was watching her die. She died on 27th April 2006 aged 14 years.

A life so full of promise.
Such a clever, beautiful child.
My daughter.

She has two brothers she has never met. She has one brother that couldnt bear to live in the house she lived and died in and has now moved out. She has a little brother whose autistic brain cannot make sense of her leaving but cannot allow him to stop wondering where she is.

I miss her. She should be here.

I should be telling her to get on with her essays and stop spending her money on nightclubs.

I spent an hour and half in boots today scanning photos of her onto disc because we didnt even have a digital camera when she was alive.
I will spend tomorrow in her little memorial garden at the front of our house. Tidying it and replanting.

There is no sense to what happened to her. It makes no sense.

Please give blood
www.blood.co.uk
www.nhsbt.nhs.uk/bonemarrow/
www.justgiving.com/Billiegirl

No one has to say anything.

OP posts:
leftmysociallifeatthedoor · 26/04/2012 23:11

I cant give blood yet but will asap.

Im so sorry for your loss.

Sunnywithachanceofshowers · 26/04/2012 23:14

Massive hugs to you MrsDeV xxxxxx

Purpletoes · 26/04/2012 23:14

So sorry for you.

I am
A regular donor but unable to donate as I have just had a DS 10 weeks ago, however we were able to donate his cord blood to the Anthony Nolan register.
Grin

I would recommend that to anyone who can. It takes nothing away from baby and if not enough stem cells for transplant they go for research to help fight disease.
Win win in my opinion

DottyDot · 26/04/2012 23:16

Thinking of you and although I can't donate myself, I've nagged dp to and she's joined the bone marrow donor list. I'll never forget seeing the photo of your daughter on your profile for the first time - absolutely beautiful xxx

chickydoo · 26/04/2012 23:17

You poor love, my heart breaks for you, I am so so sorry.
I will give blood.
I have a daughter a similar age, I don't know how I could live without her.
You are in my thoughts
Xxxxx

Devora · 26/04/2012 23:25

I can't believe another year has gone past. Another year without your Billie Sad. Much love and I will pray for you and Billie tonight.

And give blood, of course.

learningtofly · 26/04/2012 23:25

mrsd I always remember your threads about Billie. Sometimes it is just impossible to explain or reason why the ones we love so much are taken from us. There are no answers :(

Sadly neither the blood service or Anthony nolan want me anymore but like you I did a 10k for a cancer charity very dear to my heart to try to help. Good luck and best wishes x x

ImperialBlether · 26/04/2012 23:27

Oh MrsDeVere it's so hard for you and I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't donate blood as I'm on methotrexate but have an organ donor card. I didn't know about them wanting teenage boys to be on the bone marrow register - I feel awful that I didn't know. My son was born on the same day as Billie, I think - 20 January 1992? I will talk to him about registering.

My heart breaks when I think of your loss.

thefurryone · 26/04/2012 23:28

I can't donate at the moment (pregnant) but I made my O Neg husband read your post to make sure he does and I sponsored you for the run a little while ago.

I can only imagine how hard this date must be for you each year, but i hope the time in the garden will bring you some comfort xx

FoofFighter · 26/04/2012 23:28

Thinking of you all, have known about Billie since your NM days, she's beautiful.

Sending butterflies and hugs x

motherinferior · 26/04/2012 23:30

O my love, my love. It's crap. Just crap. THere is no way of making it not crap in every possible way.

I am so sorry.

I'm due to give blood in a month and DP is giving blood next week.

DollyWobbler · 26/04/2012 23:44

I am so sorry for your loss. I have donated XxX

FlouncyMcFlouncer · 26/04/2012 23:49

I'm not allowed to give blood, but have paid a visit to your JustGiving page and have shared on my FB wall too. I can't imagine how hard every day must be, and especially how hard tomorrow will be - but I will be thinking of you x

FreudianSlipper · 26/04/2012 23:49

you are so right, things in life are so so wrong at times :(

i'll be seeing you always makes me cry

i am unable to give blood for medical reasons (have donor card) and have made a donation

your little girl was so beautiful x

kittyandthefontanelles · 27/04/2012 00:04

MrsDevere, nothing I can say will bring her back. I'm so sorry. I do give blood and I'm on the bone marrow register already. I also carry a donor card. I also try to spread the word and encourage others to do the same.

Kayano · 27/04/2012 00:10

When can you give blood after having a baby? 6 months? I have no idea

Kayano · 27/04/2012 00:12

I was just thinking about giving blood for billie the other day not realising it was your precious girls anniversary today Sad

I've been thinking about it constantly since I had my baby and trying to keep up with my needle issue.

bea · 27/04/2012 00:18

xxx

youarekidding · 27/04/2012 08:15

no words will ever change what today means for you but just to let you know you in my thoughts.

MistyMountainHop · 27/04/2012 08:18

you don't know me, but ((((((((((hugs)))))))))
xx

AnnaFender · 27/04/2012 08:25

You're post last year reminded me to sign up to donate bone marrow and I did the next time I went to donate blood.

Thank you for doing so much to help everyone else by encouraging people to sign up and donate blood. Every year loads of people on here are given the nudge to go and do it based on your threads, so many people all because of you.

I will be encouraging people to sign up and come with me on my next donation date in May.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 27/04/2012 08:46

I was supposed to spend the day sorting out her garden today. I am not sure the weather will allow it.
I dont know what else to do. That is what I do because it keeps me busy and gives me something at the end of the day.
Its only a little front town garden.
I clear it out and put bedding plants in and a few new annuals.
I fill it with pots and butterfly thingies.

But if it rains all day I wont be able to do it.

OP posts:
Longtalljosie · 27/04/2012 08:49

You have already motivated me MrsdeVere - I'm on the blood register because of one of your previous posts. I can't give blood atm as I'm up the duff but rest assured I'll be back twiddling that biro as soon as I can. Much love to you x

Becaroooo · 27/04/2012 08:51

mrsdevere

I cant give blood...mine is pants and they dont want it but I am on the organ donor register as is dh.

Thinking of your darling dd and you and your family today xxxx

Mama1980 · 27/04/2012 09:04

I posted upthread but I just wanted to let you know my 2 brothers have registered and are going to donate blood next week after I told them about your story. Sending you love and support x