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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This think this is so totally and completly wrong?

160 replies

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 26/04/2012 21:38

Its that time of year again.
I usually try and grab your attention with some wittily provocative AIBU thread title.
I just cant be arsed tonight.

I want you to give blood.
I want you to register to be a bone marrow donor.
I would even quite like you to sponser me for my 10k run.

But you know what?

I just want her back.

This time 6 years ago I was watching her die. She died on 27th April 2006 aged 14 years.

A life so full of promise.
Such a clever, beautiful child.
My daughter.

She has two brothers she has never met. She has one brother that couldnt bear to live in the house she lived and died in and has now moved out. She has a little brother whose autistic brain cannot make sense of her leaving but cannot allow him to stop wondering where she is.

I miss her. She should be here.

I should be telling her to get on with her essays and stop spending her money on nightclubs.

I spent an hour and half in boots today scanning photos of her onto disc because we didnt even have a digital camera when she was alive.
I will spend tomorrow in her little memorial garden at the front of our house. Tidying it and replanting.

There is no sense to what happened to her. It makes no sense.

Please give blood
www.blood.co.uk
www.nhsbt.nhs.uk/bonemarrow/
www.justgiving.com/Billiegirl

No one has to say anything.

OP posts:
entropygirl · 27/04/2012 13:25

Psoriasis?? why does that get excluded?

TheRealMrsHannigan · 27/04/2012 13:26

Donated as I cannot give blood. RIP to your beautiful girl x

porcamiseria · 27/04/2012 13:26

I am so sorry. xxxx
and yes, I do give blood
xxx

debka · 27/04/2012 13:33

Thinking of you today MrsDV.

I'm booked in to give blood next week.

xxxxxoooooxxxxx

ModreB · 27/04/2012 13:44

I'm sorry, they won't let me give blood as I had a Transfusion myself. But until then, I did give blood, as DH still does.

Thumbwitch · 27/04/2012 13:49

((((hugs)))) for you all, MrsDV. Your Billie is a beautiful girl and I hope she can see you all wherever she is now.

Have donated already for your run; can't give blood, BM or organs any more because I live in Australia and am forever BSE tainted until they get the vCJD test sorted out - and when they do I'll be back.

You are inspiring in your drive to help all other children and people in the same situation as Billie - I'm sure good comes of it.

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xxx

Lunabelly · 27/04/2012 13:50

Much love to you MrsDeVere. I'm so sorry.

I donate blood every blood drive, am on the marrow register and have a donor card. All because of threads I have read here. Will donate to justGiving as soon as able.

Much love to you and your beautiful daughter xxx

TwoPeasOnePod · 27/04/2012 13:59

MrsDV Much love to you and yours, seriously, you must be an amazingly strong woman and mother Thanks

Can anyone tell me if it is possible to give blood if you are tattooed? I was told that, due to being of the heavily inked variety, I cannot donate blood for some reason? If this can be disproved, I will be looking into it quick-sharp.

What does the process of bone marrow donation involve? Clearly the benefits of providing it outweigh temporary discomfort, but.. I'd love to say I'd donate marrow too; BUT truth be told I'd need to know in real terms how painful it is before committing, because to be frank it sounds scary. big wuss

LineRunner · 27/04/2012 14:05

Happy to donate, MrsDeV. Lots of love to you. x

Thumbwitch · 27/04/2012 14:06

TwoPeas - it appears that so long as you haven't had one done for 4m, you are able to give blood. www.blood.co.uk/can-i-give-blood/who-cant-give-blood/
There is/was an HIV (and other blood-borne viruses, such as Hep B and Hep C) risk with tattoos and any other forms of piercing, including acupuncture (unclean needles) - the wait is to give the chance of antibodies to appear as all donor blood is tested for these 3 viruses.

Lunabelly · 27/04/2012 14:10

TwoPeasOnePod I've got a few tattoos, and facial piercings, but I'm allowed. It's only about 4 months wait to donate after a piercing/tattoo now. Do look into it, do.

WRT actual donation - it's either general anaesthetic and a needle in the, I believe, hip bone, or there's a new method where you take drugs for five days to release the stem-cells into your blood, then you're wired up to a machine that takes your blood from one arm, removes the stem-cells as it goes round, before putting your harvested blood back into your other arm. No worse than giving blood and probably nowhere near as painful as my last tattoo was...

TwoPeasOnePod · 27/04/2012 14:11

Ah thanks for the info Thumb, that means I can donate then!! Smile Well, I can as soon as 27-day old DS is over 6 months old. Dont you hate it when people recycle misheard facts like the tattoo/no donation thing, I could have donated long before now! grr

Original poster
OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 27/04/2012 14:12

thumb wow I am seriously impressed with your smilie art.

I have been out in the garden and tidied up a bit. Sadly it doesnt take very long because this has been a ritual for about 5 years now. When I first started it took me ages but as the years go by there is less and less to do.

THis means I have a nice front garden but it also means that my girl is further and further away.

Its not finished but I was planting into mud which isnt brilliant but at least its tidy and I can see what I need to do when the weather lets up.

My phone has been beeping everytime someone makes a donation and that has been keeping me going. Every beep shows someone is thinking of Billie

But that is only part of it. I am glad to be raising money for TCT but the kind messages and people pledging to give blood and BM are just as important to me.

Thank you.

OP posts:
oohlordylordy · 27/04/2012 14:12

xxx

sheeplikessleep · 27/04/2012 14:13

MrsDV - I've never given blood before, always meant to but never got around to it. I've just registered and booked a slot for 3 weeks time to give blood.

Thinking of you today MrsDV

Thumbwitch · 27/04/2012 14:14

Glad you like it MrsDV :)
Have you planted buddleia in your garden of remembrance? I know it's a PITA to keep under control but you do get a lovely lot of butterflies on it.

5madthings · 27/04/2012 14:14

i am registered as a bone marrow donor and shall come back with my debit card and sponsor xxx

much love to you all xx

breadandhoney · 27/04/2012 14:19

Moved to tears by your heartfelt post. I am not sure if I can give blood while pg. Can anyone enlighten me? Hope to donate cord blood this time though. Couldn't donate last time, as it was a Wednesday Hmm

I am sorry for what you've been through and are still dealing with.

EduStudent · 27/04/2012 15:18

I have finally taken the plunge and registered for Blood Donation.

Thank you for kicking me up the bum about this.

One of the first threads I ever saw was one where you were considering burning all the old medical notes. I've admired your bravery, strength and ability to produce ridiculously beautiful children ever since Smile

peugotgringo · 27/04/2012 15:32

I'm so very sorry, sending you love.

I can no longer give blood, my body just won't allow it, and they told me to stop coming as it can't be used for anything. I can't even donate enough for them to 'practice' on.
For the very same reason they won't allow me to donate bone marrow or platelets.

Well done to everyone else who has signed up tho.

xx

FoofyShmooffer · 27/04/2012 15:40

MrsD xxx

It comes back around too quickly.

Whitershadeofpale · 27/04/2012 15:55

I'm terrified of blood tests but have just signed up to donate as every time I see your name I get a stab of guilt. I'm already on the Anthony Nolan register and organ donor register.

Thinking of you today and thinking of brave Billie will help me get over my fear on Tuesday.

Blatherskite · 27/04/2012 15:57

I'm registered to donate bone marrow but for various reasons have never been able to donate blood. You've reminded me that I can now :)

There's a session on tonight that I might see if I can get into - although I do seemed to have developed a weird rash today Confused Am I allowed to give blood if I've got a random rash?

OAM2009 · 27/04/2012 15:58

I am so very sorry for your loss. I also have tears for you. I hope that as time passes, it brings you some peace and helps to heal your pain.

I will do my very best to donate blood in memory of your daughter and all the other loved ones who we want by our sides right now.

(I would promise to definitely do it but I went a bit funny last time and they had to take the needle out (b4 I passed out!))

Best wishes xxx

neddle · 27/04/2012 16:26

I can't give blood atm because I'm breastfeeding.

But I saw your message a couple of months ago and I booked to go to my nearest session in august - first one after he's 6 months.

I hate needles and I'll probably have to lie down during/after due to low blood pressure. I hope I can do it ok so I can become a regular :)