To be annoyed DH wants to go on a Stag do to Thailand

[FedupwithDisney]

My DH has just announced that one of his best mates (was DH's Best Man) is having his Stag do in Thailand for a week later this year and he will be going.

I am pretty annoyed. Every time I ask him to book time off work to do something as a family I get "it's not a good time at work" "I'm too busy" etc. We do have some family holiday time booked, but it's been a battle to get him to do it. He hasn't even taken all his Paternity leave that he is entitled to as work is "so busy" (DD2 is 12 weeks old). He does have a good job and I understand the pressures but how come he can suddenly take off a week for this?

If he goes I will be at home with a 3yo and a 8 mo. Guess I'll cope, I don't see him much in the week as it is, but I'm annoyed that he'll be away having a ball and I'll be dealing with the kids on my own for a week.

I'm also annoyed about the money. Surely it will cost loads. We're comfortable, but certainly not rolling in it. He gets a bonus in August which he's probably planning on using but I can think of much better things we could spend this money on like trips for the DC's and stuff for the house.

AIBU to be annoyed? He knows I'm pissed off and is sucking up to me big time, making the dinner and tidying up!

Thailand!!! Ive not read all the posts - but whatever happened to a night out with your mates! These things are getting seriously silly!

Garlicnutters and others, gee you really have it sussed that stags wouldn't have any other reason to choose Thailand. That is so insulting to all the people, groups of men included, who might enjoy the many other attractions.

There are plenty of places where the sex trade cab

Can be easily avoided. How offensive these assumptions are to the majority of thai people and their beautiful country.

If he goes, I would leave the kids with your parents and get on a plane a couple of days later and follow him out there. Turn up in one of these prostitution bars where he is unannounced.

Either that or pay for a private detective in Thailand to follow the party and send you pictures.

His behaviour and that of any of the people in the stag party is simply outrageous.

I'd also think that somewhere like Thailand is a bit of a trip of a lifetime for a lot of people....a stag do, for a week - no chance!

And i think the bloke suggesting and arranging must be a bit of a prat - asking friends with very very young children to swan off around the world...

Have you seen the Hangover 2? They go to a stag do in Thailand, such a funny film, I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe. I wouldn't want my dh to do that for a stag do though! I'd be pissed off that he would be having a long haul holiday without me, and I was getting to stay at home with the kids! It was bad enough when he went to Rome for work without me.

My dp wanted to take me and the kids there i said NO fucking way.His told me some really sleezy stuff about friends and thailand.My mum and sis were mad when i told them he wanted to take us there.Why would he want to go there when he knows what its about.My dp thought nothing more of fucking off on holiday to spain last min when i had a 2and half yr old and heavly pregnant.So i can feel your pain

By the way my dp has a habit of sneaking of so id be stuck in apartment on my own worrying about where he is.No thanks

Seems to me that a lot of these men want to be married for the domestic servitude of the deal and think of their wives as maids or housekeepers so that they can continue to act like they are single.

Haven't read the whole thread but I wouldn't mind if Dh wanted to go to Thailand for a week. He'd have a great time and life is too short. I would however expect to book something for myself for a week when he got back, whilst he looked after the kids if he wasn't prepared for that then I would not be happy.

Agree with you carernotasaint my dp acts like his single.Wish he would f off and be singleton but oh no that would make me happy which he would hate

Ruby...you can leave your relationship if you wish. There is help and support for you out there.

Nobody has to stay with a person they despise, nor someone that treats them badly. Those days are over.

I'm not doubting theres probaly some really nice places there but where dps mates went was sleezy

Honestly Anyfucker if it was easy i'd be gone tommorow.I just don't know where to start

Well I do equate Thailand with sex. I hated every second of it. If you haven't been to Pattaya you can't know how vile the expat men and pimps are. I live a short flight away and have been once and would never return, no matter how cheap or convenient it is. Hotel walls are thin and listening to the stag week men having their fun was absolutely sickening. Any parent of a teenager would agree.

Ruby, I didn't say it was easy. I said it was possible. x

When i think about it, the words "stag do for a week" would get a no from me - just too over the top and no need, regardless of the destination!!!!

Been to Thailand many times with children - it's getting a really bad rap here. It depends where you go, it's not all like Pattaya FGS!

I would love to go to Thailand I really would and have friends who have loved it.

However there is the insinuation here (and probably quite correctly) that these men want a week without the oh and some fun. On a stag. All of the above in EVERY man I know means strippers at the least, lots of booze, quite possibly some drugs and a wad of cash spent. When has it been any other way on a stag?

"Stag do in Thailand means one thing.

We were not born yesterday"

There's every chance the fella who chose the destination had that in mind, but why assume all the men are going for that reason? Lazy generalisation? A sick satisfaction from torturing the OP?

It's the context that's important. If op had said her husband wanted to take his mother there to visit family or get a facelift or whatever then I think posters would be more split.

It's the words 'stag do' and 'Thailand' that cause the problem.

I love Thailand and it is not all sex tourism but groups of single men are constantly bombarded there. It is all happy endings and the like all the time. I travelled there and some men would latch onto me and my friend because they wouldn't get hassled if they were with women. Choosing to go as a group of men without their wives on a stag DOES imply certain things. Sorry, but it does. If they want diving, what about Egypt, golfing, Spain, adventure, NZ, SE Asian food, Lao PDR?

Someone wants to get laid, possibly by someone younger, more pliable and cheaper than in Europe. That is why it is Thailand.

Up thread a poster wrote about men having their drinks spiked quite regularly in order to manipulate and/or rob them. Maybe he won't go with the intention. That doesn't mean he won't do it!

And I KNOW it's not just Thailand. I KNOW it can happen anywhere. But I've never seen the sex industry (the most horrific, sordid type) as available and celebrated as it is there. And I've been to both Prague and Amsterdam!

It's a shagfest with prostitutes. Of course, there may be men who go because they like the bloke concerned and who while away their evenings with a Lee Child novel while all round them, women are routinely sold to men. But I reckon if it's yellow and quacks then it's a duck. Sorry. Horrible situation for you to be in.

If there wasn't a real relationship involved here, posts like nkf's would be hilarious. You think a man is incapable of going away for a week without shagging a prostitute? I pity you if you've been that badly burned in the past