Can't decide if I am sick to the stomach or ok with this

[HoldOnWoody]

My friend's son is not far off 3 years of age and she let's him sit on her lap and place his hand down her top and, I can only presume, give booby a squeeze. It is obviously a comfort but I actually feel very uncomfortable when it happens. I have never thought that it is OK but I wonder whether I am just being a bit anal and it is not so bad.

How and where have I implied it's sexual? I didn't imply that because I do not think that way.

Is this really the best you can do?

Try bloody stopping DS. On occasions of extreme tiredness or fatigue he throws himself face first down my cleavage (or what passes for one).

When he runs up to DH for a cuddle he is eye height with his crotch.

The important thing to remember is that he is a tiny wee boy, not a sex-crazed pervert. There just aren't any sexual associations in his mind.

Fabulous x-post!

Got to ask, then: if you aren't implying any sexual association, why is it making you feel so n

Fabulous x-post!

Got to ask, then: if you aren't implying any sexual association, why is it making you feel so freaked out?

Am I the only other mum on here whose child didn't do that then?

Oh ffs will everyone get off the whole sexual connotation subject. I don't think it is sexual.

I imagine some of you are feeling really happy that you can come on here and throw shit at someone. Are your own lives that sorry?

so, if it's not that you think it's sexual, can you explain why else it would make you feel sick to the stomach? or even uncomfortable?

Holdonwoody - why does it make you feel uncomfortable?

Soa re you sick to your stomach about a 2 year old touching his mum's boobs, or sick to your stomach about a 2 year old being a bit shy?

I said in an earlier post, that I used the wrong words. I feel uncomfortable when it happens. It is a constant. The child never plays with others. Is always on his mum's lap with said hand down top. Always, always, always. Sick and tired of seeing it perhaps more than 'sick to the stomach'.

So holdonwoody, in your original post you wrote whether you thought you may be being a bit anal and that it's not so bad. So did you get an answer?

Oh rabbits I have just realised I do that too - well kinda in and under the arm iyswim?

OP is his hand down her top or is he pulling down the top and her bra and going for skin on skin contact?

bless you woody, is this a wind up? DD often sticks her hand on my squidgy bits of flesh (plenty of that on me) for comfort, I'm amazed to think someone would be 'sick to their stomach'. She's 3 - she still needs comfort. Like me, she's very tactile, so I understand where she's coming from. Though I do encourage her to not reveal large expanses of flesh if she's squidging me, particularly in public.

Thinking of your friend's little boy, he might not spend his whole life on his mum's lap with his hand down her top, he might be tired/shy in that situation.

Does you DH or DS never sit on the sofa with their hands down the front of their trousers? Most men I have ever met do this at some point especially in their own home. I also taught for a long time and little boys would do this in class and sat in assembly. They do it without thinking -to comfort themselves. This really isn't any different.

No Bunbaker, you are not the only one. But it looks like we are the only ones.

I don't know, maybe you have to be there to actually witness it to know what you mean. It's hard to tell from your description, anyway don't worry about anyone having a go! This is AIBU - everyone argues and anyway you don't know them and no one knows you!

No bun my DS didn't either. Not as habit - he did pull my top down a few times - never in a place where it would be OK!!

OP I don't totally agree that you can't help how you feel :)

I remember seeing a friend BFing her 2 year old some 6 years ago, and feeling a bit uncomfortable about it. At the time mine (of the same age) had weaned at 15 months (my mistake, I accidentally weaned him by dropping too many feeds artificially). I was all for term breastfeeding but had never seen a child older than mine breastfeeding. I analysed why I felt like I did. I knew the theory, and I supported the practise so why did I feel like that?

I recognised that it was my own cultural expectation and experience clashing with my knowledge and theory of child raising/breastfeeding/the breast as a sexual V feeding and comforting object. I realised that I'd never before seen a toddler breastfeeding. I thought about it and got over it. Now it's not only normal but highly desirable.

IF you agree with what I and others have written about the mothering style then maybe you would be able to re-analyse your feelings and decide that actually this is all a good thing :)

You're sick and tired of a toddler sitting on his mum's lap How does it affect you?

Great posts organic carrot cake

As an accidental natural term feeder I would have perhaps felt the same as you OP once upon a time - not sick but it certainly may have jarred me as I just never used to see it

but now half the western hemisphere has seen me feed DD, I am very comfortable with this sort of thing

"Does you DH or DS never sit on the sofa with their hands down the front of their trousers?"

I don't have a son, but I have never seen OH sitting with his hands down his trousers. He occasionally rearranges the contents by giving everything a little shake (from the outside), but he isn't in the habit of meddling with them so to speak.

open what does x post mean? i'm new

Don't even ask frikinfabulous unless you're ready for a flaming too