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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get dd to pay for her own hair?

152 replies

mosschops30 · 21/04/2012 09:05

Me and dh normally pay as present or treat round birthday/xmas because she normally has a cut and colour (£75). But she wants it cut today so roughly £35-£40 unless she goes to a junior and might be a bit cheaper.
I cant afford to pay for it this month, have had to pay for full time childcare on a part time wage as i start new job on monday so thats £500 im down.

She has £40 easter money and £20 from babysitting but when i said she could use that she said 'thats all my money nearly gone then' Hmm. To which dh replied 'yes welcome to the world'!

So AIBU to make her pay for her own haircut today? My only other option is to put it on my ever expanding credit card

OP posts:
Debsbear · 22/04/2012 09:09

YANBU at all, I'd make her pay for her own, especially as she has the money sitting there. I would also go along with your usual policy of paying at certain times of the year as a treat, but any extra's she needs to fund herself. At 16 she's certainly old enough to find herself a job, even my 12 and 13 year olds earn money through "sticking up", (occassionally my 11 year old as well). She needs to learn the value of money and that's a fair bit to pay for a hair cut (worth it for a good cut though Grin)

diddl · 22/04/2012 09:10

Glad it worked out OK.

Am dreading the day my teenaage daughter is no longer happy with me just triming her hair & wants a style!

Maybe if she can find a place that´ll do it for the price her brother´s costs...

Original poster
mosschops30 · 22/04/2012 09:10

Ha ha some of you are so funny Grin

dd originally had it coloured because she wanted to go darker, i did not want her to do what i did (and a lot of teenagers) and buy a box and end up with badly dyed hair, so she has had it done twice, once as a birthday present, once as a xmas present.

Those of you with little dds or no dds need to realise that once they reach a certain age they will not wear the stuff you want them to, or like, they just want to buy whats in fashion or what their friends are wearing, they want haircuts, skincare, ears pierced etc etc

OP posts:
Original poster
mosschops30 · 22/04/2012 09:13

For those of you saying 'she needs to get a job', she has had a job for 2 years, which really did teach her that you cant take £30 to town every weekend, she was much more careful. She also used it to fund part of a barcelona trip.
I allowed her to give it up for her GCSEs and she has since been waiting for her NI card so she can apply for a proper job.
She is the only one of her friends with a job Shock

OP posts:
VickityBoo · 22/04/2012 09:18

Sorry if it's been suggested I didn't see it when flicking through - is there a Sixth Form College near you? Our nearest has a very good salon and cuts, colours are v cheap. They're done by the more senior students and overseen by a tutor. The students are up to date on trends and what's modern as they're young and keen!

BoffinMum · 22/04/2012 09:18

Why can't she do babysitting? You don't need an NI number and it's sitting one someone's sofa and being paid to do your coursework, basically.

MarySA · 22/04/2012 09:22

That is a lot of money for a haircut but I know these good salons do charge a lot. I think I might offer say £10 or £15 towards it and ask her to pay the rest herself out of her money. And then she would still have a bit of money left. And if I couldn't afford to do that this month I'd certainly say no then she must wait or pay for it all herself.

ragged · 22/04/2012 09:23

Many experienced hairdressers will come to your home & cut it for about 1/3-1/2 the salon price. At a time of your convenience. Ask around.

£15 is typical "salon" price around here for a woman's cut.

Fiendishlie · 22/04/2012 11:38

It's not reverse snobbery to say 'I cut my own hair' or 'I bought my hair dye in Poundland' ffs, it's sometimes about common sense. Your credit card is maxed out, you wonder why you're always skint, you can't cope with losing your child tax credit (hundreds of other threads on here) but you pay hundreds of pounds to have your hair done? Madness.
Not aimed at any poster in particular, just a rant. sorry.

PooPooInMyToes · 22/04/2012 11:44

Fiend. Exactly!

Mummy2FE · 22/04/2012 11:44

I would probably pay for the cut for her and buy her one of those home colours, until I could afford for her to have it done professionally.

I pay a similar amount for my hair cuts and colour- standard going rate in my area. I don't go to a city centre salon, just a local one.

BellaVita · 22/04/2012 12:08

Fiend, our credit card is not maxed out. We do not receive child tax credits, we are not skint, we both work, have a lovely home, nice holidays and enough money so that we are comfortable, so if I want to spend hundreds on haircuts I will. It is about choices, which we have.

fuzzpig · 22/04/2012 12:48

Since people keep asking - The MN haircut (which I didn't realise was an MN 'thing' until after I'd tried it - bizarrely one of DD's nursery teachers told me about it!) is just a really quick way of cutting your own hair.

You wash it and while it is still soaking wet you lean over and brush it all forward. You gather it into a ponytail right in the middle of your forehead. It's vair attractive :o

Then you just pull the ponytail to stretch it, and cut straight across (I cut off about a couple of inches). Done. It kind of layers it automatically. DD's looks like somebody spent ages feathering it at the front but it was just one snip.

It only works on long hair and I wouldn't recommend it if you are bothered about perfection, but for me - lazy and poor :o - it's a great method.

fuzzpig · 22/04/2012 12:53

(and I really don't want people to think I'm being reverse snobby either - I don't give a monkeys what others spend on their hair, I just don't do that myself)

Mopswerver · 22/04/2012 13:10

mosschops You are giving out confusing signals here. At first you ask if you are being unreasonable to ask your dd to pay for her haircut herself then when people agree that she should you get all defensive and say that if you want to pay you will!

Look, make your own mind up, we are simply giving our opinions...which you asked for. No-one is accusing you of being frivolous with money, but in your own words " I can't afford to pay for it this month" and you bemoan your "ever expanding credit card" Confused

pantaloons · 22/04/2012 13:25

She needs a saturday job in a hair dressers like I had in me yoof.

Yes, she would have to wash old biddies smoke stained hair and make them tea, but in return she could change her hair length and colour every 2 weeks!

Problem solved!

ps, £20 for a cut and finish is good isn't it? She did well there!

PuffPants · 22/04/2012 13:26

Confused what a strange thread.

OP what exactly are you asking? Sounds like you want and intend to pay for it, so do it.

Problem solved ConfusedHmm

PurpleCrazyHorse · 22/04/2012 14:30

Great outcome Moss.

Good on her for finding and trying a new local salon and I'm really pleased it worked out. Maybe finances might allow you to give her the £20 back towards it at your next payday? I think it's great for her to know that money doesn't grow on trees and family finances take priority over luxuries (i.e. expensive haircuts rather than a cheap cut). Hoping she finds herself a little job soon and it's great that she's keen to do that.

HappySeven · 22/04/2012 14:43

I seem to remember wanting those things, Mosschops, but due to my parents finances I didn't get them until I could pay for them myself. I remember very clearly buying the first coat I owned that wasn't a hand-me-down. I kind of feel sorry for kids that won't get that wonderful feeling.

nooka · 22/04/2012 17:38

Sounds like it worked out OK in the end.

My parents gave me an allowance for clothes and essentials from about 12, which I then topped up with babysitting money. It meant I never asked for money, although I know my mother wished she still had some control over what I wore/how I looked. It was a great discipline for me.

PooPooInMyToes · 22/04/2012 19:29

Thanks fuzz.

EllenParsons · 22/04/2012 19:53

Glad it worked out and she is happy with it.

I was going to say that for a 15 year old, haircuts come under necessities IMO like paying for their clothes and toiletries, so I would find it harsh for her to have to pay it all from money which presumably she got to spend on something she considers a treat. Spending on hair cut is almost like spending on general bills IMO - a necessary but not especially exciting outgoing!

I know teens do have to learn to manage money but I think at 15 that kind of cost is still the parent's responsibility.

TheCunningStunt · 22/04/2012 20:03

My mobile hairdresser does a cut and colour for £25 she is fab...she also cuts kids (under 6) for free!

DowagersHump · 22/04/2012 20:10

Bloody hell, I've not spent that much money on my hair since I was a higher rate tax payer with no kids.

How is she going to be able to afford to pay that kind of money when she's moved out of home?

When I was a teenager and wanted 'fancy' cuts and colour, I paid for them. My mum would pay (equivalent of) £20 - if I wanted anything more exciting, I'd have to fork out for it myself.

Mopswerver · 23/04/2012 10:19

nooka is it really that harsh to say that you will pay a basic amount & that they must save up and pay for the rest? I agree with DowagersHump, if we lead them to believe that these kinds of things are the norm then we can't blame them for expecting whatever they want, whenever they want then when they leave home they will be truly stumped.

By asking them to make a contribution you are teaching them a valuable lesson which is (in the words of the Rolling Stones) "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you get what you need".

Need/Want. There is a difference.

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