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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get dd to pay for her own hair?

152 replies

mosschops30 · 21/04/2012 09:05

Me and dh normally pay as present or treat round birthday/xmas because she normally has a cut and colour (£75). But she wants it cut today so roughly £35-£40 unless she goes to a junior and might be a bit cheaper.
I cant afford to pay for it this month, have had to pay for full time childcare on a part time wage as i start new job on monday so thats £500 im down.

She has £40 easter money and £20 from babysitting but when i said she could use that she said 'thats all my money nearly gone then' Hmm. To which dh replied 'yes welcome to the world'!

So AIBU to make her pay for her own haircut today? My only other option is to put it on my ever expanding credit card

OP posts:
HateBeingCantDoUpMyJeans · 21/04/2012 09:48

Give her the choice, just a cut at the cheapest place or paying for it herself at her normal place.

slovenlydotcom · 21/04/2012 09:48

£40 Easter money- she is one lucky girl! As a compromise can you go half and half?

Fireandashes · 21/04/2012 09:49

I think it depends whether DD chose to go to this particular salon once she was allowed to start getting it coloured - in which case her choices are to pay for it herself or to find somewhere cheaper - or whether OP took her there (maybe because it was already OP's own hairdresser). If the latter and she hasn't had it cut for four months then I think it's up to the OP to pay for it, and perhaps consider finding a cheaper hairdresser for the whole family (doesn't have to be a salon; most areas have a mobile hairdresser who will come to the house).

PuffPants · 21/04/2012 09:50

What is Easter money? Confused

Original poster
mosschops30 · 21/04/2012 09:50

I know its not a luxury but i cant afford to pay for her hair this month Sad
she has £60 in a jar in the kitchen, which is more than i have to spend this month on petrol etc

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 21/04/2012 09:50

My parents couldnt afford for me to have luxuries when I was 16, and at 16 she can get a saturday job to earn money, or do babysitting. I worked from the age of 14 in various part time jobs, because I wanted money to spend on things that I wanted that were not basic necessities.

I disagree that it is "hard" on a young person to have to earn money for things, it helps them to appreciate the value and costs of living, helps them to budget and prepares them for the real world.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 21/04/2012 09:51

God so much explaining. The gps bought pressies for the boys (rugby kit) but dd is 16 so difficult to buy for so they gave her £40 cash

OP posts:
PintOfStellaAndBuckfastChaser · 21/04/2012 09:51

What about the famous 'Mumsnet Haircut' It's free! Grin

hattifattner · 21/04/2012 09:51

if the family has no money, then she waits, or she pays herself. She will not die from having a bad hair day. And at 16, she should be staring to pay her own way.

crunchbag · 21/04/2012 09:51

YANBU because you cannot afford it at the moment. She is old enough to understand that. She has the choice of having it done today and pay for it herself or wait until you can afford it.

And £30 is normal around here for a simple cut and dry.

knowwhenyouhavebeenbeaten · 21/04/2012 09:53

YANBU at all and your DH is correct. Smile better to learn thats life sooner rather than later!

Toughasoldboots · 21/04/2012 09:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

knowwhenyouhavebeenbeaten · 21/04/2012 09:54

Gawd i have all this to come (3 DDs). Shock

knowwhenyouhavebeenbeaten · 21/04/2012 09:56

Can't believe some of the responses! Op can't afford it and DD can. Hmm It snot food or a warm winter coat. The girl will need to learn.

chocolateandcoffee · 21/04/2012 09:56

could you not agree that if she does some. jobs around the house. cooking dinner and clearing up after and perhaps a basket of ironing you Will give her 20 towards her hair when you get paid.

she can use some Easter money to make up the difference. if she does not do the agreed chores she Will not be reimbursed. I think she should earn it. and understand your situation.

O2BNormal · 21/04/2012 09:56

Moss you don't have to feel Sad

Would you spend the money on a haircut for yourself atm, even if you hair was a mess? Why would you spend money you don't have on her haircut then?

It's unfortunate, but reality is that decisions have to be made where money is concerned. If there was plenty of cash about, the situation would be different and no doubt you will pay for the next one when you have the cash. This time you can't and it's up to her whether she pays herself or waits a bit. Won't do her any harm at all, at 16, to understand that.

MrsS you're right, but really you think your mum should have take creditcard debt to pay for those things, rather than have you wait a couple of weeks?

Fireandashes · 21/04/2012 09:56

Given that a haircut is not a "luxury" but a basic element of care & hygiene, I don't agree that DD should be paying for it at 15 (didn't the earlier post say she was "nearly" 16?). She's a schoolgirl.

A compromise would be for OP to give DD the cost of a basic trim at the cheapest salon / mobile hairdresser in the vicinity. If DD wants to continue getting a more stylish cut in her usual salon then she pays the difference.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 21/04/2012 09:57

Dd has had a job for 2 years paper round. But she has none of that money left. I said she could give it up for her GCSEs as didnt want her getting up at 5am every day, so now she has been waiting for her nat ins card so she can apply for other jobs

OP posts:
duckdodgers · 21/04/2012 10:02

fireandlashes is right - a good idea would be to pay say £20 - and find a hairdresser that charges roughly this or get her to pay the difference in her usual salon, a good compromise.

ZenNudist · 21/04/2012 10:02

I think you go with your instinct, let her pay if she wants it done. Or suggest she starts putting it up if it looks a mess down. I think at her age she is just a bit young to have coloured/ layered styles that require lots of upkeep. If she wants to do that she needs to pay for it herself. At 16 I had a Saturday job and started going to a better hairdresser to get my hair styled, which I paid for. But I didn't go every month and I couldn't afford colour. I think it would be good lesson for her.

Memoo · 21/04/2012 10:03

MN haircut? Grin

TwinkleTwinklyStars · 21/04/2012 10:05

There is another option, either you or a family member/friend could cut her hair.
If she doesnt like that idea then she has the option to go out and for her own hair cut.

I know several people who will only cut their own hair and their children's hair, the hairdressers is either unaffordable or viewed as an unnecessary luxury (when it can be done at home for free).

There are many simple cuts that you can do yourself and there are lots of how to guides to be found online.

At 16 she is more than old enough to have a weekend job and be paying for her own things.

Myself and my siblings all had jobs at 16, and all paid for our own clothes make up and hair cuts, we also all went to school/sixth form and uni, and all worked right through.
And we are from a well off family, we never wanted for anything, but were taught that it is better to work and pay for your own things, and we are all now, as adults, better for it.

It is a good way for her to learn how life works, and not too expect everything to be handed to you on a plate.

Toughasoldboots · 21/04/2012 10:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crunchbag · 21/04/2012 10:10

mosschops don't feel guilty, you just haven't got the money at the moment. Your DD should understand that. Like I said before she has the choice, pay herself or wait.

Ofcourse you can always pay her back when you have money but for now you don't really have a choice. Putting yourself in debt for a haircut is silly, surely DD agrees with that.

Sabriel · 21/04/2012 10:11

I was paying for my own haircuts from my first Saturday job at 14. As others have said, she either goes to a cheaper hairdressers and you pay, or she pays for the expensive one.

Have you got a Supercuts near you? They are doing £5 off ATM if you sign up for their voucher.