to think ds's school should take a harder line over these issues?

[lecce]

Although we are reasonably happy with what seems to be going on in the classroom of ds1's school (he is in YR) there are a couple of issues that are really starting to grate - especially on dh, who does the school runs. He wants to raise them at a forthcoming parent forum so AWBU?

1. Smoking directly outside the school. Our local council recently introduced a voluntary ban on smoking outside schools (on the pavement) and in play areas. Posters were sent to all schools bt ours has not displayed any. There are always countless parents smoking right outside the door and it seems to us it is not setting a good example to the children. Dh is particularly depressed by the handful of women who turn up in the mornings smoking in their pyjamas. Dh is a typical ex-smoker I suppose but he is angry more with the school for not publicising the issue, than the parents themselves. Of course the head cannot stop the parents outright but displaying the posters would be a start.

1. At least once a week ds comes out with some rubbishy snack given because of someone's birthday. Today it was a bag of total crap - lollies, those candy stick things, rock hard sweets I would never give him. Monday it was a bag of Walkers. We really don't want him to have all this stuff - yes dh can (and does) take it off him but he could do without the 5 minutes of whinging that ensues and it does seem unfair to ds when others from his class are walking alongside him eating theirs. I read about schools on here policing lunch boxes and ours seems to the complete opposite.

The school is in a pretty deprived area and it just seems that there is a fatalistic and patronising attitude from the head - "Oh, these parents are working class, they can't be expected not to stand right next to the entrance smoking..." etc Shouldn't the school take more of an active role in promoting a healthy lifestyle?

grrr that will learn me not to have spent my lower class educated yoof smoking fags in the toilets

I for one am sick of junk food being readily available EVERYWHERE we go. It's unecessary, and School should be a junk free zone imo.

YABU, because you want everyone else to conform to what you and your DH would like.

Getting your DC accustomed to differing attitudes is part of their learning. Teach them what you think is important, let them be exposed to other attitudes and let them make up their own minds.

If you want the truth you will both come across as total pains in the arse. You both need to stop sweating the small stuff now or you'll have nervous breakdowns as your kids get older.

Good point Sparkina at secondary school they deal drugs at the gate, not Haribo, and I aint kidding.

*"ds was found to be very slightly overweight when they measured him(had a thread on here about it) - he has shot up since so I hope that when I get him measured in the summer he will back in the normal range."

Doesn't that kind of prove my point OP? You don't give your DS sugary stuff and yet still he was a little overweight. It isn't the stuff given out at school which is the problem for the vast majority.*

Wtf is the problem then? The tips in the NHS bookelt we were sent with advice on how to get his weight down all referred to cutting out/down on junk and icreasing fruit (we found the tips useless as none of them applied to us). Junk food makes people unhealthy and overweight and I can't see why it can't be kept out of schools.

In the op's defense, I don't think she is 'sweating the small stuff' sparkina.

Kids are eating more junk food than ever before, should schools be encouraging it too? It is serious imo.

Smoking outside a school is a big deal too. Really bad example to set, if nothing else, surely?

Junk food makes people unhealthy and overweight and I can't see why it can't be kept out of schools.

Bollocks!

A regular and consistent diet of it may do, along with no exercise...... but a bit of "junk" now and again, even once a week, combined with a healthy diet for the majority of the time, and regular exercise will do no harm to anyone...

Get a sodding grip...

Do women really turn up to school wearing pyjamas ?!
I am chronically ill and still manage to turn up dressed in a morning.
As for the smoking YANBU.

What squeaky said.

Just because it is available doesn't mean that they can have it. My kids always ask if they can have the sweets. I am usually a nice mum but if I say no than tough luck.

Deflated balloons sound very mean for a treat.

But YABU for taking treats off your DS that others have dished out for a birthday.
All things in moderation .
You will make your DS a laughing stock if you can on in that vain.
My DSD's mother used to do the same with regards to sweets.
She is a now a teenager and has no self control with them . Eats them for England when her mother is not around.

Ok, I should have put a 'too much' in front of that sentence but I still stand by the rest of that post. I think schools should be encouraging children to see that there are other ways to treat yourself apart from ingesting crap.

And, before anyone rolls out the old chestnut about how my children will go crazy on junk food at parties etc - I have not totally banned junk from their diets.

a healthy balanced diet

squeakytoy what about the children that are fed with a regular and consistant diet of junk at home? and then School adds to the problem(when it should be setting a good example to those kids who don't get it at home).

So, OP talk to the school about it rather than winge here. They may want to act but believe there will be no support from parents. If you get patted on the head then you can surely ask that your DS is not given junk food.

Oh, too late....Nanny I don't see how it will make him a laughing stock, I'm pretty sure his 5yr old classmates haven't found out about my creme egg theft. Some people are saying it's up to me to say no but now I'm mean for taking off him utter crap that others have brought in for a birthday?

And wtf are deflated balloons mean Isn't that how they are normally distributed in party bags and then you, you know.. blow them up??

Don't party bags usually contain cake as well?

Raising the issues on a parent forum is the way to go, and push for a vote amongst parents.

Inside a party bag, fine. On its own, mean :)

fluffy, children can say no too. My dd doesn't like lollipops so she happily gives them away or bins them at home.

YANBU
I'm a smoker and I would not dream of smoking in/outside the school grounds. The shame..., but I guess you're in a 'Shameless' kind of area?

As for the sweets... What's wrong with bringing some cakes to school for a Birthday? Bags of sweets are for Birthday parties, not during the week!

Brits are famous for their bad teeth; I wonder why.

what about the children that are fed with a regular and consistant diet of junk at home? and then School adds to the problem(when it should be setting a good example to those kids who don't get it at home)

Schools are there to teach your children how to read, write, and pass exams, not be the food police.

'Schools are there to teach your children how to read, write, and pass exams, not be the food police.'

If we spent less time on interfering with the parenting bit, there would be more time for the academic bit.

I agree about the smoking, but assuming that all 29 of the other children in your son's class bring in birthday sweets, then 29 packets of birthday sweets over a year is not so very awful is it if that's all he has? I don't blame him for being upset that he is not allowed them.

crunchbag do you really think the majority of children would say no to sweets? .
Good for you if your dd is like this, but not all children have the same self control.