To not give ds a drink?

[BonkeyMollocks]

Ds (4) is currently shouting from his bed that he wants a drink.

He has been offered water twice, which he has refused because he wants juice.

Apparently he is thirsty and now he wants daddy because daddy is normally a soft touch. I have banned daddy from speaking to him or going in there, because it will end with dh giving him juice just to shut him up, therefore making him not listen to me in the future and he will do it every night.

I am in a really shitty mood anyway and its not helping but dh thinks I should just give him some juice.
I think we should sit it out and let him cry it out.

He also did the same thing last night, he went to sleep eventually after 2 hours :(
AIBU to ignore him?

Agree with Usual. Its only a drink of juice ffs.

If he's thirsty then water will do.

If he isn't and he's doing it for attention/to delay bedtime then giving him the juice wouldn't solve it anyway because then it will be he's hungry/needs the loo/hot/cold etc etc

All is quiet!

All kids try it on. It doesn't matter what they are demanding. Today it is juice, later it will be wanting to stay out half the night. How you deal with it now will have a massive impact on how they behave later. You are right to stick to your guns. Your ds will know where he stands with you as he grows up. He will trust that you can make a decision and stand by it. He can rely on you to give him what he needs rather than what he wants. It will pay off in the long run.

After teeth are brushed it's water or nothing.

That's the rules, innit.

(Although DD2 had a slice of bread after toothbrushing tonight, however she is only 2 and can't talk yet! When she is 4 the rules will apply, like with her big sis).

YANBU - stand firm, no juice! At 4 it isn't really "crying it out" it's more "trying it on" so I'd leave him grizzle. (With water within reach of course)

you do what you think it best for your child in the long run, and for you, for me, I would do what you're doing now, no juice, in this house, juice is for meals times only, water only any other time.

Cheers Mutt

OK I'll try again, more slowly for the hard of thought.

This struggle over a drink won't do your child any good. Nor will it make your relationship with him any better. I grew up with this kind of rigidity and the whole family would have been better off without it.

What fairenuff said.
Probably not thirsty & is trying it on. Can't have juice as teeth fall out, is important health reason.

Also you must NEVER backdown. If you show weakness they will get you! It will be easier in the long run, when they know no means no & accept it & not whine for hours.

Tinker Its not the drink though. He is attention seeking and I am refusing to rise to it.
He got offered water, which if he was really thirsty he would have drank and that would have been that. He didn't, still complained of being thirsty and then had a melt down (which he has been doing regularly lately) .

What do I do? Go in there and give him what he wants after shouting and screaming at me? Because I will not be a mum who gives things to a child after shouting and being rude.
Surely that is just rewarding bad behaviour!

Tinker if this was my child, it wouldn't be about the juice, it would be about the pushing and pushing to see where the boundaries are.

yanbu. No way would I give a child juice before bed. I'd bring up a cup of water and leave, end of story.

You are spot on bonkey.

However I will give you a small getout for if you ever need it.
It sounds like you and your DH are like us, I am enforcer and he is soft as a marshmallow.
So if I have said it how it is, but it is tipping over to me thinking hmm maybe there is an exception here for some reason, then DH goes and sees to it. I am still enforcer, he is still beloved softy father. Trick is, they know that he defers to me generally, it wouldn't work otherwise.

Anything sugary after teeth is just a no here. Sometimes they get a slice of plain bread / bread and butter at a push / milk / water. Parental consideration allowing. But never anything properly sugary. Just how we do it.

yanbu, i would take some water up and leave it with him.

if he is thirsty he can have a drink- it just won't be the drink of his choice

He will scream even more if he has to have a filling or 2 at the dentist. Stick to your guns.

And I know from my own 4yo that if she said she was hungry even with me checking after supper and getting a no and again before bed and getting a no and then bath and teeth and story and cuddle and into bed and oh I'm hungry...

When I have thought, OK you didn't have much supper / I heard your tummy rumble / you have been ill / you are very persuasive and I have said OK here is a slice of plain bread eat it quietly and go to sleep...

The next night without fail every time she has been hungry after the bedtime rigmarole as well.

is patently a bid for more attention. Recognise it for what it is and then decide if you are going to give or not and in what form.

Give him water anyway, that's all dd gets at night.

He has water and is now asleep.

I am more than happy to give him a drink if he wants one, but at bedtime it will always be water.
He knows this, it has been the same for years!

Quite right too

I think you are right to stick to your guns. Your dh needs to grow some mollocks and not give in either or it will just undermine you too. If thirsty he will drink water