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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that 34 is too late to retrain to become a doctor

104 replies

RosesAreBlue · 16/04/2012 04:32

I have just had a 'discussion' with a friend of mine in which I told her that 34 is a bit too late to retrain to become a Paediatritian. She got a bit upset and told me I was being unsupportive but I was just trying to be honest and realistic. She has two young children...
I feel guilty now as I don't want to be unsupportive IABU?

OP posts:
CremeFraiche · 16/04/2012 04:39

yabu - of course it is not too late. She has 30 plus years of practice left once qualified.

hedwig2001 · 16/04/2012 04:41

If she is smart, well supported and hardworking, then it is not unrealistic. Just very hard work!!
I work in a neonatal unit and one of our recent junior doctors was in her fifties. She is working her way to become a GP.

bruxeur · 16/04/2012 04:42

YAB ageist and ignorant. Not sure about U.

NannyPlumIsMyMum · 16/04/2012 04:44

I don't think it is too late ... As a healthcare professional I think people with life experience make better doctors/ nurses etc.

ShadowsCollideWithPeople · 16/04/2012 04:56

YABU. Very much so. Why do you think your friend is too old to become a Doctor? And why do you say 'she has two young children...' As if it is something that will exclude her from being a doctor? Presumably, her children have a father/fathers who can look after them while she studies. Medicine is undoubtedly a demanding career, but it can be balanced with having children. Stop being so narrow-minded and support your friend.

Starwisher · 16/04/2012 05:05

Dont be silly, why on earth is it too late? 34 is still young, but with the advantage of life experience and really knowing what you want out of life.

If i wasnt so squeamish it would be something i would love to do myself, it must amazing making such a difference to children with something worthwhile.

GreatExpectations2012 · 16/04/2012 05:08

Absolutely not too old! In fact, I strongly believe that it is never too late to follow your dreams. The logistics may have been easier when your friend was 20 and children but that's all it is, logistics. And she has the benefit of knowing exactly how it feels to cope with very little sleep. In fact, I'd say she was in a better position now than as a 20-something.

bushymcbush · 16/04/2012 05:10

I think 34 is the perfect age to do something like that. Not suprised your friend was upset by your vote of no confidence Sad.

bagelmonkey · 16/04/2012 05:23

She's not too old at all.
In my experience the mature medical students are often better.

Loopyloveschocolate · 16/04/2012 05:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lifechanger · 16/04/2012 05:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
RosesAreBlue · 16/04/2012 05:42

Wow!
Bruxeur - no, not ageist but apparently perhaps I may be ignorant re this topic. Will take that squarely on the chin.

Shadows - of course I don't think having children exludes you from being a doctor - that would be ludicrous. I mean the training... course fees to pay plus 5 years fulltime study, unpaid while hubby works a 60 hour week and no family within 100miles?...
I guess I was meaning this is an important factor and needs thinking about very carefully and it's impact on the family etc. But it appears people do it - which is wonderful.
And another way to look at it is that the downsides will most likely be evened out by a role model like her.

tbh she hasn't looked into it at all and I was just trying to point out some of the practicalities and wondering if universities / jobs were as forthcoming if you start 'late'. It appears they are :)

Will return to friend with a more positive and supportive attitude...

OP posts:
Original poster
RosesAreBlue · 16/04/2012 05:49

Oh and I guess 'too late' isn't a very good way of expressing myself... I meant more in terms of life-stage rather than actual age.

OP posts:
Starwisher · 16/04/2012 05:55

Wait, she hasnt looked into it at all?

Ok so does she have the required a levels and recent study?
What would she do about childcare to cover shifts and studying?

She does realise she has to do all areas of medicine as part of her training too doesnt she? She cant specialse from the start.

Kristina2 · 16/04/2012 06:02

My brother didnt become a gp until he was in his 30s.he has 2 kids when he started and now he has 5

No one suggested he shouldnt do it because of the impact on his family and his wifes working hours

Original poster
RosesAreBlue · 16/04/2012 06:04

Those were the kind of questions I was posing to her...

She is smart, has A-levels and a degree (not medical related) which she did ages ago when she was 20ish. She'd have to do some kind of conversion course. I'm sure would be great..
But whilst I was talking to her about it I just had this realisation that while we are encouraged that as women we can truly do anything with our lives and children etc would never hold us back, that actually it kind of does hold you back! She has two young children to care for - realistically most of the time as dh works very long hours.

I guess there are plenty of childcare options like fulltime daycare but all the study and revision etc in the spare time too?

Anyway, I'd be interested to hear if anyone here has done it before.. so I can (positively) arm her with some real info from people who have been there and done it...

OP posts:
lyndie · 16/04/2012 06:08

Actually it's quite late, not impossible but will be very hard.

A levels, getting through the admissions process could take a few years, then 5-6 years at Uni (full time course, no long holidays), then a minimum of 8 years postgrad training full time equivalent before she is a Consultant, she could be 50!

Some medical schools have an age cutoff of 30 for exactly that reason.

Kristina2 · 16/04/2012 06:22

If she has a science degree she might get exemption from soem modules

And since her children have two parents the childcare is not her sole responsibility

Im surprised that an age related entry requirenebt for university is legal

There are no fees here for university and the course is five years not six.and you do get holidays

And perhaps she doesnt want to be a consultant. Its not compulsory

Kristina2 · 16/04/2012 06:26

In fact, 16 uk medical school offer accelerated 4 year programmes to graduates and there is no upper age limit details here

wonkylegs · 16/04/2012 06:27

It's not completely stupid suggestion but I think it would be very difficult. The training can be very difficult on family life and jobs in the early years can be awful hours that post you miles away from where you are. It was a great strain on our family and the worst of it was before we had DS. It's not just the 5years of uni but the further study - DH started to train to be a dr at 18 he is just about to become a specialist consultant at 36/37.
DH also trains a fair few doctors (he's also done a teaching qualification in tandem) and he says that the few mature students he's had do find it difficult.

KlickKlackknobsac · 16/04/2012 06:32

I know someone who retrained to be a doctor in their late 40's. Better to be spending 20 years doing something you want rather than regretting it for the rest of your life. As long as there is more working life left than the course lasts then its practical in my opinion.

nooka · 16/04/2012 06:40

This is the sort of course your friend might want to look at: www.sgul.ac.uk/courses/undergraduate/mbbs4 if she got on to this sort of course (and she would have to show a high level of commitment) then there are two years of foundation training followed by specialty training.

So perhaps eight years of training and education. There is lots of information available on the web from the colleges and the NHS so no excuse for a lack of research if she is really interested.

exoticfruits · 16/04/2012 06:56

I would call 34 young! It will be hard work but she has plenty of working life left. You only get one life-go for what you want and don't put up with second best.

catsareevil · 16/04/2012 06:57

If she is going to try and get into a medical course then they will expect her to have considered the implications of this, and the effect on her life.
34 is quite late, getting into medical school, doing a degree, then training with the expectation of shift work, and that frequent moves, to locations not really of your choice, will be made.
To be a consultant paed she is looking at a minimum of 4+2+6 years, and thats as long as she passes all exams, and gets onto training schemes at the first opportunity.

Thats not to say that she shouldnt do it, but she should certainly go into it with her eyes open.

lyndie · 16/04/2012 07:05

Actually the working bit might be ok, she could do it part time but it's the thought of the course that gives me the shudders. Is she expecting that she can get into her local university or would she move her family to whichever course she got onto? She does know that she'll get sent out on remote placements for 8-12 weeks at a time where she would be expected to live in hospital accommodation? Some nights we didn't leave the library until it closed at 11pm, how is that compatible with her husbands work and childcare? Again it's not impossible, definitely not but she has a lot to think about! Maybe she should do some work experience or try to meet some mature medical students, maybe there will be some on here. Also it's definitely a good job, but I'm not sure I would make the sacrifices to do it now I have 3 children.