to think that 34 is too late to retrain to become a doctor

[RosesAreBlue]

I have just had a 'discussion' with a friend of mine in which I told her that 34 is a bit too late to retrain to become a Paediatritian. She got a bit upset and told me I was being unsupportive but I was just trying to be honest and realistic. She has two young children...
I feel guilty now as I don't want to be unsupportive IABU?

I probably do only work 48hrs/ week at work (but then I'm still training so get compensatory days off in a way that the Consultants who do on call don't) eg. if I work the weekend which is full shift so either long days or nights 8-8:30 then I don't work Monday or Tuesday.

However I do a tonne of stuff outwit work that is for work eg. writing presentations,studying for courses, preparing research etc. It is conference season at the moment so I am especially busy.

There is also a degree of trickle up - the consultants of today are much busier /involved on the shop floor than they were even when I was a medical student. I truly think we are moving to a resident Consultnat service which is not the kind of work-life balance I had envisaged for myself in middle age.

Of course 34 isn't too old! A schoolmate of mine decided in her very late 20s - after getting (a humanities-based) degree from Oxford - that she wanted to become a doctor, and in her case this meant going not just back to uni but back to college in order to get the required science A levels as she had done all humanities first time round. She qualified as a doctor several years later, having had a child along the way, and now practises as a hospital doctor.

In similar vein, I retrained in my 30s. After 6 years as a SAHM when my marriage ended and I had to go back to work, I spent 2 years at law school and 2 years doing a training contract and am now a solicitor. When I started at law school I was a single parent of two children under age 5. It was challenging but I think if people are determined then they will do what they set out to. Encourage your friend!

Why would you say that to a friend? Of course it's up to her to decide if she's too old, and definitely not your place to tell her she can't do something like that. Of course it's going to be hard and everything, but I assume your friend is not stupid and knows about the difficulties already?

it will be difficult but not impossible. I completed a science degree at 22, had 2 years out and started medical school at 24-25. Tbh i left after 6 months as i felt so out of it and old compared to all the other 18-19 year olds! At 25 i was one of the oldest on a graduate course! Most are new graduates of other degrees. The on ly ones i saw in their 30's were dentists training to be maxofacial surgeons.

Im now a teacher and i see friends who are doctors working double the hours i do for not that much more money. I left uni with 6k debt (before all the fees etc came in) and predicted if i'd stuck at med school i'd owe 40k in debt - so glad i never stayed. I suppose it depends how committed she is but it will have a huge impact on her family life.