vegan mum at kids party was rude?

[DoozerDrift]

Took DS to a young child's birthday party at soft play today, and there was a vegan mum with her DC there. When it came to cake time, there was no vegan cake, so the mum gave her DC a chocolate lollipop out of her bag.

OK, her DC seemed happy with the situation and asked to hosts to check what was and wasn't vegan. So no problem there I don't think (although I'll bet my bottom dollar they'll rebel and live on bacon sandwiches when they're old enough to ignore their mum!)

BUT AIBU to think that taking separate treats to a party is A) rude to the hosts and B) unfair to the other children at the party who might prefer what the vegan DC are eating?

[LydiaWickham]

Libelulle - if I'm honest, I'd prefer to know in advance that your dd is dairy intolerant but that you'll be bringing your own food, I might find out from someone else and then cater dairy free, or then feel bad that I should have known (silly if you didn't say, but I have that fear of not being a good hostess).

[MightyNice]

still don't understand how it was rude though

how was it rude OP, in your mind?

[Helltotheno]

OP you need to get out and about more. Seriously, broaden your horizons..

[Tiptoptoe]

Wow Doozer, I have seen some odd threads today but yours and your self-righteous, judgemental attitude really does take the cake. Then just to round off your wonderful ways, you slag off chat about another Mum to the host? You like conflict and drama by chance?

[LydiaWickham]

How could it put the host out? The host didn't have to bring other food, she knew this so didn't worry and cater, and if anyone else wanted the vegan food, there was spares to stop tantrums. Seems the host couldn't be put out in any possible way, unless she feels strongly that all DCs should eat meat.

[wigglesrock]

YABVU - when dd1 had her first and only party at soft play. A mum did exactly as the other Mum did. I was aware that he had a restricted diet so before the party I asked her if I could do anything to make it "easier" for him and she said it was fine, she always brought some special treats with her for him. I didn't even bat an eyelid.

I had a special party bag for him but it really really wouldn't bother me, and I can be a bit narky sometimes.

I'm not even going to mention the Facebook comment because I find you commenting on another parents behaviour on FB really rude.

[5madthings]

bloody hell just read the thread and realised you messaged the party host and mentioned the vegan thing and said it was odd!


and the vegan mum brought enouhg lollies for everyone, which she didnt have to do and was very kind of her!!!

you are sooo sooo being unreasonable!

[Shakirasma]

No matter how hard I try, I just cannot see why anyone would think it odd.

As a burger loving meat eater with omnivore kids, I simply cannot understand why this is an issue worthy of note or headspace.

[MissFenella]

I agree with Upahill - why do you even care? May I suggest you find a healthy pastime to stop you fretting over other people's dietary choices.

[usualsuspect]

Nice first post

[Proudnscary]

OP, you fool, you should have embellished the truth and said:

'So this vegan mother pulled out a chocolate vegan lollipop and said loudly, with a face like thunder: "Here you are dc, since THE HORRIBLE LADY HASN'T CATERED FOR YOU I GUESS YOU'LL HAVE TO EAT THIS". Then she marched her dc out of the party.'

That's what everyone else does with these threads. It's Mumsnet 101...

[DoozerDrift]

It's not my first post. It just is under the name.

Terry Wogan's cock, Pombears, MN scarf etc, etc.

[D0oinMeCleanin]

So you NC for this thread? Is that because you knew you were BU but fancied some drama?

[PurpleRomanesco]

May I suggest you find a healthy pastime to stop you fretting over other people's dietary choices.

Yes OP, You could take up Vegan baking. :)

[upahill]

I find it really odd when people seen to take a rather strange almost unhealthy interest as to why I am a vegetarian- as if I am wrong and they want to prove that point and they go on and on asking questions and making out I'm weird.
My usual answer now is 'I just am and it suits me'
OP you sound like one of these people that gets on my tits.

[MissBetsyTrotwood]

ROFL @ vegans being 'extreme'.

I am currently finding and enjoying the last crumbs of a delicious Orange and Cinnamon Cake we bought today. It was... VEGAN! Made... WITHOUT EGGS! Look at this OP - I've tried some of the recipes here for a vegan friend and they've all worked beautifully.

(Yabvu btw.)

[KatieMiddleton]

Actually YANBU. Apparently vegans are on the Watch List with the other extremists #trufact

[Tiptoptoe]

I just want to say that you said you didnt slag the vegan Mum off but your intention was to mention it in the hopes the host Mum would say "oh yes, how strange was she". If you thought for one minute the host Mum would say "uuuuh no, I find it strange that you find it strange and you are judgemental" - you would not have mentioned it.

That is attempting to slag off the other mother - no matter how you put it. You were just not successful at it.

[QuacksForDoughnuts]

My favourite cake recipe. My other favourite (the one that pretends to be healthy!) Incidentally I've made these several times as birthday cakes and the like for people who aren't vegan. My cheese-loving OH and carnivorous family eat it quite happily without screwing up their faces in disgust, which rather disproves the idea that veganism confers an automatic yucky taste.

YABU. She wasn't making any demands on anyone, she wasn't making a scene, she was making sure her kid/s got something and weren't let out. I dread to think how you'd deal with actual rudeness, OP! I would rather host someone who can communicate with me and sort certain things out for themselves if necessary than someone who will stand around making cats bum faces at the other guests and message me to say my friends are weirdos...

[DoozerDrift]

D0oin, no I don't fancy drama. I was interested to know other people's opinions on this. I namechanged for no reason, other than I fancied a change.

[nizlopi]

I bet the host and her friend are having a right laugh about you right now. You quiz the vegan lady at the party and then quiz the host later on? You sound demented.

[notactuallyme]

Otoh at a party ds went to recently, the lovely mum did pass the parcel with gelatine free sweets and a little plate of veggie sausages for him. I have lovely openminded friends. Tbh I thinks its yuk to just feed one's dcs meat and not actually consider the alternatives. Can't see why in this modern age anyone thinks tucking into a plate of flesh is better. I have never ever said that outloud before, just feeling a bit provoked.

[upahill]

Yeah but you still haven't said why you would be annoyed if it happened to be at a party you host.

Is it odd that I take my own burgers to a BBQ save the host catering for my needs/wants?

Is odd that I take a vegetarian wine to a party?

[DoozerDrift]

lockets I'd rather see the DC tucking into the same cakes as every other child there!