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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

vegan mum at kids party was rude?

399 replies

DoozerDrift · 15/04/2012 20:42

Took DS to a young child's birthday party at soft play today, and there was a vegan mum with her DC there. When it came to cake time, there was no vegan cake, so the mum gave her DC a chocolate lollipop out of her bag.

OK, her DC seemed happy with the situation and asked to hosts to check what was and wasn't vegan. So no problem there I don't think (although I'll bet my bottom dollar they'll rebel and live on bacon sandwiches when they're old enough to ignore their mum!) Grin

BUT AIBU to think that taking separate treats to a party is A) rude to the hosts and B) unfair to the other children at the party who might prefer what the vegan DC are eating?

OP posts:
PurpleRomanesco · 15/04/2012 20:47

You could say that about any diet.

Obviously veganism is normal for this child so I'm sure he would know exactly what to do in that situation.

lolajane2009 · 15/04/2012 20:48

yabu, would you feel the same if the child had an allergy?

everlong · 15/04/2012 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

holidaywoe · 15/04/2012 20:49

I think the parent was BU at having a vegan child but if they must then I think it was good of them to take their own things to a party as its less for the host to have to think about.

cansu · 15/04/2012 20:49

You are being ridiculous. she is being thoughtful by not expecting hosts to provide vegan alternative. I have a very fussy dd (ASD) who refuses most food. If we are going somewhere I take along what she will eat so there are no issues when out and about or at parties etc.

Fedupateaster · 15/04/2012 20:49

One of my DC has severe allergies and we always bring our own treats to parties. Would have no food if we didn't. YABU.

mynewpassion · 15/04/2012 20:50

YABU! So what if the child later decides that he/she will not be a vegan. Until then, the parents will make the decision and they want their child to eat vegan food only.

The mother caused no scene and everyone was happy. She seemed like a great mother instead of a judgey one.

TheAvocadoOfWisdom · 15/04/2012 20:50

yabu. I usually have a lolly or two in my handbag in case the children are given haribo.

Calamityboo · 15/04/2012 20:50

I don't really get what the issue is, she provided suitable food for her DC, DC was happy with this as he was able to attend the party with his friends, would you have preffered the DC to stay away so the other kids didn't have to see him have something different? I am sure any other parent their would have explained to their child if they asked for a chocolate lolly, that the DC was having a lolly and not cake as he was not allowed any cake, but they had cake as the lolly was just for the DC. Hmm

madmouse · 15/04/2012 20:50

That mum was very sensible - making sure her kid had treats without inconveniencing an already busy/stressed hostess.

StrandedBear · 15/04/2012 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fivegomadindorset · 15/04/2012 20:50

Why on earth is the parent BU for having a vegan child?

lockets · 15/04/2012 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MerryMarigold · 15/04/2012 20:51

Tbh, it is rare in this day and age that the kids get to eat the cake at the party! Good on them. So often these days, the cake is just slipped into the party bag. So maybe the Mum was taken off guard with that, and was planning to quietly bin the cake after the party! Just as well she came prepared.

Original poster
DoozerDrift · 15/04/2012 20:51

No, she didn't make a scene, admittedly, and she had told the hosts in advance because they were discussing it with her. However, it still seems really odd to me.

OP posts:
CremeEggThief · 15/04/2012 20:51

YABU and you have a very strange idea of what is rude!

You are the rude one for judging someone who came prepared and organised so harshly.

SeaHouses · 15/04/2012 20:51

Why is it odd?

TheThingUpstairs · 15/04/2012 20:52

YABU, seems like a sensible solution.

holidaywoe · 15/04/2012 20:53

Just a personal opinion but I dont agree with children being brought up on a vegetarian/vegan diet if they choose later then so be it.

Procrastinating · 15/04/2012 20:53

OP, we all 'inflict' our beliefs on our children. I'm guessing you 'inflict' meat eating on yours.

lolajane2009 · 15/04/2012 20:54

tbh your response sounds odd imo

BornToFolk · 15/04/2012 20:55

Why is it odd Doozer?

DS is vegetarian and, at 4.5 years old, is more than capable of asking what does or doesn't contain meat. He's better than me actually, at the last party we went to, I put a ham sandwich on his plate and he pointed it out to me! Grin

MightyNice · 15/04/2012 20:56

thank you for making me feel mentally normal OP

why did you think it was 'rude'?

mamalovesmojitos · 15/04/2012 20:56

YABVU. The mum was organised and prepared- I fail to see the problem Confused.

You sound incredibly judgy and seem to be gleeful at the thought of her dc 'rebelling' and almost getting their own back by eating bacon sandwiches in the future. Well those children may never eat meat and so what? It's probably not that healthy for them anyway (and I say this as a happy carnivore). their parent is not punishing them.

Metabilis3 · 15/04/2012 20:56

@dozer YABVVVVVVVVU

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