vegan mum at kids party was rude?

[DoozerDrift]

Took DS to a young child's birthday party at soft play today, and there was a vegan mum with her DC there. When it came to cake time, there was no vegan cake, so the mum gave her DC a chocolate lollipop out of her bag.

OK, her DC seemed happy with the situation and asked to hosts to check what was and wasn't vegan. So no problem there I don't think (although I'll bet my bottom dollar they'll rebel and live on bacon sandwiches when they're old enough to ignore their mum!)

BUT AIBU to think that taking separate treats to a party is A) rude to the hosts and B) unfair to the other children at the party who might prefer what the vegan DC are eating?

[exoticfruits]

It is so trivial it doesn't even need thinking about.
I agree with sixlostmonkeys, even as an adult if you know that you are not being catered for you quietly take your own-it is ridiculous that you decline and have to do without.

[trixymalixy]

My kids are allergic to eggs and dairy, so can never eat the cake at parties. I quite often make enough vegan cupcakes for everyone depending on how well I know the host. They are always hoovered up.

DS is old enough to understand he cant always have the same as everyone else, but DD got very upset when she fancied one of the normal cupcakes, but of course I couldn't let her eat it.

Op you are being vvvvvvv unreasonable, odd and rude.

[wolvesarejustoldendaydogs]

I take gluten-free treats to kids parties (and anywhere else we go) for my 4yo coeliac son.

If another child 'envies' them, they will just have had a brief, fleeting moment of empathy since my son has to see treats he can't have every day of his life!

[Gubbins]

I feel the same way as you, Wolves. My daughter has a dairy allergy, so ever since she was tiny I have taken her to parties with a couple of fairy cakes for her to eat when the other children are tucking into the birthday cake. I have only once had another child ask for one, so pointed out to her all the other lovely crips, cakes and biscuits that A hadn't been able to have and she was fine with that. If a 3 year old can get her head round it I'm suprised the OP couldn't.

[thisisyesterday]

"if you have made a lifestyle choice like being a vegan, good manners means that when you are an invited guest somewhere you either accept what's on offer or you politely decline"


good manners also means that if you invite people somewhere you ensure there is something they can eat and drink.

[exoticfruits]

You do however have to be told of their needs in advance.

[OrmIrian]

It would have been rude if she had made a big fuss, picked over all the food to makes sure it was Ok and then delivered a lecture. She didn't. She provided an acceptable alternative. What else could she do?

[thisisyesterday]

yes of course you need to know in advance. I would generally ask guests if they had any special dietary requirements.
but if i had forgotten i'd be grateful if they reminded me.

[MummyPocPoc]

Terry Wogan's cock is Pure Pork boak

[exoticfruits]

Maybe the one in OP didn't want to be difficult and she just did an alternative-not everyone wants to make work for the hostess.

[thisisyesterday]

as you can see from my post i was replying to someone further up the thread who said that good manners dictates that you should eat what you are given

it was not a direct answer to the OP... I've already done that further down!
In her case the vegan mum had spoken to the host, and they'd come to a mutually agreeable solution. which is great :)

[exoticfruits]

I have lost track of who said what! I can't think why I am bothering to reply-it is so trivial. OP is being unreasonable-if her DC thinks it unfair just stick to my general saying 'life is never fair'! You are not doing your DC any favours to think it is-merely explain why vegans can't eat the cake.

[valiumredhead]

I have read the first page only - YABU and quite bonkers!

[upahill]

Blimey what a load of fuss about a kids party!!!
Anyone would thing a head of state was being entertained with all the talk about etiquette!

[RevoltingPeasant]

MummyP thanks for that. Thanks very much.

I am kind of in awe that this is still going on. Do you think if you just put 'vegan' in a thread title it is automatically good for at least 250 posts? Vegetarian, maybe 175?

[TheSmallClanger]

She was trying not to impose on the hostess, by the sounds of it. She WNBU.

[PureQuintessence]

ZOMBIE THREAD

[TheSmallClanger]

Spammer. I didn't notice.

[Megatron]

YABU. Do you think its 'odd' because she has chosen a different diet for her child than you? I'm not sure what difference it makes to you at all.

[TiggyD]

Not a zombie thread. It's just that vegans tend to look a bit like zombies.

[LastTangoInDevonshire]

THIS THREAD WAS STARTED A YEAR AGO !!

[fuzzypicklehead]

Dammit, I read the whole thing before I realized it was an old thread. Grrrrrr!

[HeadfirstForHalos]

YABU! She was being polite. She didn't expect you to have provided "special" food, but also didn't want her child to miss out, so brought her own.