Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have secretly giggled at overhearing daughter's swearing

148 replies

localyokel · 12/04/2012 21:38

Eldest daughter's got a couple of friends over for a sleep over, and they're all up in her room armed with duvets, chocolate and a DVD. As I walked past her room I heard them all in fits of giggles and she said that her friend was a 'fucking dozy cunt' at which point the friend responded that she didn't have a 'dozy cunt' and they all started giggling again. They would be mortified if they knew I'd overheard them but for some reason it just made me giggle, is that really bad?

OP posts:
fridakahlo · 13/04/2012 01:23

Cunt, cunting, cunty cunt.
Nope no problem here, though obviously I would advise against wandering down the street and saying it loudly.

Bambino81 · 13/04/2012 01:30

I HATE the "C" word all together. If I heard my daughter say that alone I would be furious. There's absolutely nothing cute about that at all - a toddler saying "bugger", that's cute.

Did you pull her up on it the next day? If you haven't then I would do it asap if I were you.

Im 30 and my parents have probably heard me say about 4 swear words. and as for she's smart to use the word cunt in context? Yeah, if you're breeding the next generation of chavs then that's some something to be proud of.

Honestly, it's riled me up now.

HolyLentenPromiseBatman · 13/04/2012 01:38

Bambino why has it riled you up? Someone you've never met said a word you don't like in the privacy of her own home, it's really not worth being riled up about.

Bambino81 · 13/04/2012 01:46

Well, she decided to share with the public tho didn't she?

Don't get me wrong, I swear. I just think a child saying cunt isn't funny at all.

HolyLentenPromiseBatman · 13/04/2012 01:50

The DD who said 'cunt' hasn't shared it with the public her mum (the op) did.

I don't think it's funny either, but to become 'riled up' seems an extreme reaction.

SodoffBaldrick · 13/04/2012 07:10

Wow, storm in a c cup...

Do none of you remember being 15?! My mother was very much an 'oh blow' type of mother and I remember her tearing shreds off my brother for saying 'bloody hell' aged about 11, but come on...! 15 is all about finishing out aout the world and pushing boundaries.

I can't quite believe people are sneering at the OP's parenting and if you think for one micro-second that your teens - now or in the future - will somehow be cushioned from these words in the school ground, well, you're deluded.

Just to put peoples minds at rest though Grin I can state quite categorically that the trying out of the word 'cunt' in your teenage words does not necessarily lead to a life of ruin and frequent guest appearances on the Jeremy Kyle show. Teenagers who have let this word pass their lips have even gone on to lead fine, upstanding, respectable lives with well-paying jobs.

All is not lost.

t0lk13n · 13/04/2012 07:15

Shock why proud? I would have gone in and told her off!

Ephiny · 13/04/2012 07:19

I don't get the 'play on words'. To me it sounds like a pretty nasty thing to say to a 'friend' Confused, I would think she's going to struggle to make and keep friends if she gets in the habit of speaking to people like that!

localyokel · 13/04/2012 07:20

Where did I say I was proud, I just said I found the exchange funny. Yes, in an ideal world she wouldn't swear, but as far as the wider world are concerned she's a well mannered, polite teenager. She's not 5 she's 15 for fucks sake

OP posts:
t0lk13n · 13/04/2012 07:22

My children know better than to swear in my house....If they do I tell them off. I also think that that word is a really horrible word. I think I am more shocked you giggled!

localyokel · 13/04/2012 07:24

I assume all the 'outraged people' have never said cunt then? Ever? Or if they did, at what age did it become acceptable for them to say it?

OP posts:
SodoffBaldrick · 13/04/2012 07:24

Ephiny - I think it's pretty clear from the OP that the friend took it in exactly the light-hearted spirit it was intended.

FondleWithCare · 13/04/2012 07:25

There's a lot of overreaction here. Teenagers swear, always have done and always will do. It has nothing to do with parenting, they aren't going to grow up to be chavs or on Jeremy Kyle and they do know that there is a difference between swearing with friends and swearing at their teachers.

HateBeingCantDoUpMyJeans · 13/04/2012 07:25

Op you dozy cunt Wink this was never going to end well Grin

t0lk13n · 13/04/2012 07:26

Really fondle....I am a teacher and in my experience they do swear at their teachers!

SoupDragon · 13/04/2012 07:27

LOL @ the outrage.

This was banter between friends. It wasn't being hurled as an insult.

I would have a word with my child about it to ensure they wouldn't use it as a full on insult but I wouldn't be angry.

FondleWithCare · 13/04/2012 07:30

Well yes some children will swear at their teachers but not most of them. I swore with my friends, they swore with me and none of us swore at our teachers. If this girl is generally well-behaved then she isn't the type who will be swearing at her teachers.

t0lk13n · 13/04/2012 07:31

Different generation....now many children are not brought up to have boundaries and that is when the trouble starts and as usual teachers are blamed....thin wedge etc!

QuickLookBusy · 13/04/2012 07:35

I agree there is a lot of over reaction on here.

She swore in the privacy of her bedroom. My DDs did the same thing when they were 15/16. However I have never heard her say them anywhere else so I assume she knows when it is/is not appropriate to swear.

I have never had a word with her as I think she would be mortified that I had overheard a private conversation and she would be then thinking "what else has she overheard?"

. I don't think that would be a very nice thing for an otherwise great teenager to think.

FondleWithCare · 13/04/2012 07:43

Not particularly, I'm 23 so I don't think it is a generational thing. I can't imagine 15 year olds being that different now to the 15 year olds I was at school with 8 years ago. A well-behaved teenager will know when it is appropriate to swear and when it isn't. This is a girl who has never sworn at or in front of her mum before so I don't see her swearing at her teachers.

SodoffBaldrick · 13/04/2012 07:47

It's not a generational thing.

Teenagers swear. 'Twas ever thus...

DucketyDuckDuck · 13/04/2012 07:54

They do seem to use the "c" word alot more these days. So casual about it.

When I was 15 I swore like a trooper (still do sometimes) with my friends, but never to parents etc. Still don't swear infront of my Dad and I'm in my forties!

OP - It was with her friends, in private in her own room (her space).

I used to hear my step-daughter once in a while when she was fifteen, never bothered me. I used to think "Bless, you think you are so grown up". I think its a phase most teenagers go through.

I think I would have had the same response as you. She sounds perfectly normal to me.

AmberLeaf · 13/04/2012 08:01

Agree with Tethersend.

...and Angelico your story was V funny!

hairylemon · 13/04/2012 08:44

wouldnt make me giggle but it wouldnt make me go and get my pearls out either.

tbh Im more surprised at a 15 yo having a sleepover, at that age I was getting pissed on MD 20/20. I'll be happy if my kids are safely indoors saying all the cunts they like at that age.

As long as they dont say "pass the salt you dozy cunt" at the dinner table of course....

tethersend · 13/04/2012 09:14

"I HATE the "C" word all together. If I heard my daughter say that alone I would be furious. There's absolutely nothing cute about that at all - a toddler saying "bugger", that's cute."

A toddler describing anal sex is cute?Confused

OR, is it perhaps that the word 'bugger' means two things, one of which is a curse so frequently used it has now lost its offensiveness? Wink

My point is that there is nothing intrinsically 'bad' about a word.

Even the word 'cunt' will, like much of the English language, change over time. Our great grandchildren may be saying it when they stub their toe.