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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have secretly giggled at overhearing daughter's swearing

148 replies

localyokel · 12/04/2012 21:38

Eldest daughter's got a couple of friends over for a sleep over, and they're all up in her room armed with duvets, chocolate and a DVD. As I walked past her room I heard them all in fits of giggles and she said that her friend was a 'fucking dozy cunt' at which point the friend responded that she didn't have a 'dozy cunt' and they all started giggling again. They would be mortified if they knew I'd overheard them but for some reason it just made me giggle, is that really bad?

OP posts:

BaDaBing · 12/04/2012 23:14

I would have also laughed local! Ignore these maniacs judging your parenting skills for it.

DoinMe - too cute!

SecretNutellaFix · 12/04/2012 23:14

that's the whole point isn't it? Very often these conversations are at a volume that can be easily overheard, because of the belief that it is private.

Similarly I don't want to know the ins and outs of peoples finances or the tangle of relationships that result in so and so's cousin sleeping with the sister of ex boyfriends mother, but I hear them regularly on mobile phones, when people forget that they are in public and have private conversations that aren't.

If you don't want to tackle the language itself, then perhaps a word to remind her that if she doesn't want everyone to hear her conversations, she could maybe moderate the volume?

blapbird · 12/04/2012 23:15

BaDaBing Couldn't agree more

manicbmc · 12/04/2012 23:17

Dd is also reclaiming 'cunt'

Personally I don't find it trips off the tongue as well as 'twat'

I have no problem with my daughter swearing at all so long as it's not out and about where people could take offence.

lazymonkeyface · 12/04/2012 23:21

I like twat too! The word, not them in general ;)

blapbird · 12/04/2012 23:21

Curiositykitten .....
The cumbersome Cunt From 'Cuntingsthorpe'
Turned out not quite how her mother thought
She kept cunting crisps
In her cunting lips
And joy to the world she bought

WorraLiberty · 12/04/2012 23:26

I don't understand all these people re-claiming the word 'cunt'

That's ok if they're not going to use it as an insult

But do they really walk into their Doctor's surgery and say they've got an itchy cunt so can they please have some Canesten?

Do they tell their DD's to make sure they wipe their cunts after doing a wee?

I genuinely don't get the reclaim thing??

tethersend · 12/04/2012 23:44

Cunt is not a bad word- it's the best word for a bad thing.

It also means female genitalia, although this is a less common use of the word.

Words can have dual meaning; this does not mean that one of the meanings means the other; i.e., it does not mean that female genitalia IS a bad thing. That would be absurd.

Original poster

localyokel · 12/04/2012 23:47

I agree that it would be unacceptable if they had been talking like that loudly in public/in the presence of young children/teachers/parents/grandparents/ etc, etc, but they weren't, it was a private conversation, not designed to be overheard. The reason my attention was attracted was the initial laughing, not the conversation

OP posts:

PeelingBells · 12/04/2012 23:49

YANBU

NannyPlumIsMyMum · 12/04/2012 23:51

There's swearing and there's the C word.
Personally I would not have been at all happy. More disappointed.

WorraLiberty · 12/04/2012 23:51

tethers I get that but from what I read on MN, the 'reclaimers' want to reclaim the word cunt because they don't see why a female part should be used as an insult...fair enough.

But how do they 'reclaim' it?

Do they literally tell their DDs to wipe their cunts?

Do they ask their Doctors for cream for an itchy cunt?

This is what I genuinely would like to understand?

Original poster

localyokel · 12/04/2012 23:53

I don't get why the word cunt is any worse than fuck, or wanker

OP posts:

NeverTalksToStrangers · 13/04/2012 00:00

I'm with the reclaimers, although I don't use the word often as I know it offends people. I just don't see why. Why should it be more offensive than dick, cock, wanker etc?

Worraliberty , no, we don't mean to tell the doc we have an itchy cunt, the same way a man wouldn't say to a doc "i was wanking and my cock hurt"... well some might...

tethersend · 13/04/2012 00:01

There is no more need for the word to be 'reclaimed' than there is for the word 'bastard' to be reclaimed; both words mean two things.

The word 'cunt' is not used in the way you describe as its primary meaning is offensive; i.e. it signifies a bad thing. It is rarely used to signify female genitalia, so would sound inappropriate in the context you describe; in the same way it would be inappropriate for me to refer to DD as a bastard at parent's evening.

This dual meaning was what the OP's DD was commenting on.

TuftyFinch · 13/04/2012 00:01

100% of the general population will not have heard your daughter's private conversation. 100% of the population have no idea what she said. I generally get dressed in my bedroom. If I got dressed on the train I would expect someone to have an issue with it. Except I don't so they don't.

tethersend · 13/04/2012 00:01

That was to worra

blapbird · 13/04/2012 00:02

NeverTalksToStrangers "i was wanking and my cock hurt". That's a sentence I never thought I'd see on MN!!!!

Angelico · 13/04/2012 00:15

:o If it was my DC I probably would have a word the next day when friends were gone...

BUT ... total hypocrisy because one of the funniest moments of my teaching career was when a few teachers took kids camping. They were in their tents and we had left them to it for a while, then walked back. They had classic 'tentitis' - ie the sense of being in a private space when in fact the world can hear / see everything you are doing. Boys in one tent were shouting absolutely vile stuff to the girls and vice versa. We listened for a minute until what they were saying got a bit then I said in my sternest voice "Is there anything you would like to add to this conversation?" I swear the little buggers stopped breathing for a full minute :o We gave them a telling off, then stumbled away laughing so hard we ended up on hands and knees in the dark, rocking backwards and forwards :o

Angelico · 13/04/2012 00:16

BTW I think it is the c**t word. I swear like a sailor but that's my baaaaaaaaaad word - I save it till I mean it :o

startail · 13/04/2012 00:21

Oh for goodness sake lighten up.

They weren't swearing at each other nastily they were Playing with grown up words where they felt safe to do so.

Just as DDs friend gave her an absolutely hilarious and accurate lesson on the facts of life. (I couldn't be cross I was just very pleased DD was open enough to tell me about it). They were rather younger than 15.

startail · 13/04/2012 00:25

In another context c**t would be out of order because it is reserved for thinking about very specific people. Sadly I have to be polite to the most deserving case for the next 7 years.

Bellstar · 13/04/2012 00:30

URRGH-has there been a nethuns invasion again? wtf! who would be proud that their dd called someone else a cunt-vile.

Btw I say this as a parent to a dc who at 9 is pushing the boundaries with regards to swearing.

But as long as they are word playing thats fine apparently

HolyLentenPromiseBatman · 13/04/2012 00:37

She's 15 and she said a word, in a jokey way, to her friend, in her bedroom in a private conversation?

Bellstar · 13/04/2012 00:41

Shes 15 and said cunt in her parents house

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