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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have secretly giggled at overhearing daughter's swearing

148 replies

localyokel · 12/04/2012 21:38

Eldest daughter's got a couple of friends over for a sleep over, and they're all up in her room armed with duvets, chocolate and a DVD. As I walked past her room I heard them all in fits of giggles and she said that her friend was a 'fucking dozy cunt' at which point the friend responded that she didn't have a 'dozy cunt' and they all started giggling again. They would be mortified if they knew I'd overheard them but for some reason it just made me giggle, is that really bad?

OP posts:
blapbird · 12/04/2012 22:18

I think people who are all shocked by this would be surprised what their own children do/ say when they're not there

HOMEMADECHUTNEY · 12/04/2012 22:20

mummmsy that's a 'smart double entendre' in your eyes?

Oscar Wilde must be quaking in his grave...

WorraLiberty · 12/04/2012 22:20

I wouldn't be shocked at all blapbird

I have 3 boys and there's no doubt in my mind they swear too.

What I don't identify with, is finding it funny, cute, sweet or anything other than cringeworthy.

But that's just me.

Babylon1 · 12/04/2012 22:21

Yes YABU. The C word is vile and IMO should never be used by anyone. It is the only word my DH knows is likely to result in a good slap if I hear him use it and out of respect for me he doesn't use it.

Sorry but swearing is not cool hard or clever and coming from a 15 year olds mouth would make me question the parenting and upbringing.

blapbird · 12/04/2012 22:22

I just think it's best to be relaxed, people who laugh in the face of the small stuff get more out of life and their relationships with others. IMHM

FizzyLaces · 12/04/2012 22:22

She's 15 - sounds to me like she's hitting her developmental milestones Grin

BreeVanDerTramp · 12/04/2012 22:25

blap I'm sure I would be shocked given my DS's are 4 and 18 months, however it is not the 15 year old swearing I find shocking - its that her parent finds it funny Hmm

mummmsy · 12/04/2012 22:25

yes HOMEMADECHUTNEY i do - hence why i said so. not sure i give a fuck about Oscar Wilde though Grin

Original poster
localyokel · 12/04/2012 22:25

So now I'm a bad parent because my daughter swears in private with her friends?

OP posts:
blapbird · 12/04/2012 22:25

Stephen Fry speaks fondly of swearing and makes a good argument for it, it's something to relish... I would hate to grow up in a house where my mum says, 'oh blow' when she stubs her toe- too much repressed English Hyacinth Bucket for me

mummmsy · 12/04/2012 22:26

no not at all, i swore like a trooper and i still do - i now have a PhD and a way with all kinds of words

mummmsy · 12/04/2012 22:27

i mean no your teenager swearing does not at all make you a bad parent localyokel

lisaro · 12/04/2012 22:28

I have three rugby playing sons (heard lots of bad language) and would not find that word funny, cute or clever. Actually find that shocking.

WorraLiberty · 12/04/2012 22:29

Of course it doesn't make you a bad parent.

It's simply that some of us can't identify with you finding it funny that's all.

As I said before, we're all different.

blapbird · 12/04/2012 22:29

There's no direct correlation between swearing and bad parenting, my dad's every other word was fuck when he was (single handedly, might I add, bringing my sister and I up) I am now a trainee teacher and my sister is a graphic designer for a snow board company.

We are happy polite, well rounded people plus I never swear much at home because DP finds it insulting but when my dad and sister and I are together we enjoy bandying around a few harmless F bombs. Grin
#laidbackparentswin

mummmsy · 12/04/2012 22:29

as long as she's not drinking tea or coffee localyokel

Babylon1 · 12/04/2012 22:29

Not a bad parent because your daughter swears per se, but laughing at it almost endorses it doesn't it? That's irresponsible and reinforces vile behaviour.

Cassettetapeandpencil · 12/04/2012 22:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
localyokel · 12/04/2012 22:31

Sorry, maybe I should have clarified, it wasn't so much my daughter swearing that made me giggle, rather the exchange, but I guess whatever I say won't make any difference now

OP posts:
Babylon1 · 12/04/2012 22:31

Also worth noting that swearing is almost always learnt behaviour, so has she heard you calling your friends dozy f'in Cs? If not, where's she heard it? That would be of interest to me more than finding it funny?

SecretNutellaFix · 12/04/2012 22:34

She used it when in private with her friends. Fine.

How often is she out in public with those same friends having a "private" conversation at the top of their voices? Is it still funny to walk past groups of people using that sort of language?

Not to me, and certainly not to someone walking by with a small child/ children with them.

blapbird · 12/04/2012 22:34

she wasn't laughing in front of her daughter, it's like when your toddler tips all the cornflakes on the kitchen floor then tries to deny it was them serious face on outside chuckling on the inside.
I agree with Fizzy it's a milestone for all well rounded individuals! Grin

mummmsy · 12/04/2012 22:34

oh come on does nobody find the play on words funny? i fucking laughed

WorraLiberty · 12/04/2012 22:35

Sadly at 15 I imagine she's heard it almost everywhere Babylon

You can't get on a bus here in London without hearing that sort of language all around you.

Original poster
localyokel · 12/04/2012 22:35

Is it beyond the realms of possibility that maybe some of her school friends swear too?

OP posts:
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