To be TERRIFIED of having a bikini wax?

[fishcalledwonder]

I thought I'd be braver now I've been through childbirth, but am still too wimpy to have a bikini wax and have just cancelled an appointment to have one on Monday. How pathetic am I being? Are they as bad as I think?

Not talking pornstar type wax, just a tidy up.

LeQueen - are you more prone to ingrown hairs with waxing? Also, does it leave you with that horrible rash that hair removing cream leaves?

Richtea, I get a few ingrown hairs from bikini waxing from time to time, but it depends very much on the person, as LeQueen and my beautician agree. Not everyone gets them.

Hmmm might be a bit far away from me the le queen. I was sure I'd read a thread once where you said you were in leicestershire. But im no where near Grantham :(

Aha I get ya. Ok pm me the name of the salon if you don't mind, it would be worth a bit of a drive if they do as good a job as you say.

I've just found Emla in my medicine box, so tomorrow after work, I am going to apply it and wax myself.

You can't deny that the current fashion for less being more down there is influenced by porn.

That doesn't mean that an individual has to have watched a porn filmed, admired the look, and then taken it upon themselves to immediately emulate it. That's not how it works...!

It means that porn has become much more widespread thanks to such things as the internet. By becoming more widespread, it has become mainstream. Various people in and out of the public eye take up the look. The more people who take up the look, the more widespread and mainstream it becomes. As with anything fashion related. The herd eventually follows.

Not everything we do is a conscious decision - there are all sorts of things which influence us. Porn may not be the influencing factor for person X to get a Brazilian; more than likely fashion was their influencing factor, but what lead this particular fashion? These things don't just happen in a vacuum. Don't people understand how marketing works, for example?! Why has this fashion for being virtually hair-free down there only come to the mainstream fore in the last 10-15 years? I can't think of any other explanation.

Then, you get the stage when societal pressure comes into play. The idea of a full bush is a bit joke-worthy now. We've had threads in the past where people have come on to say that their friend, the trainee midwife, laughs afterwards when pregnant women come in with untended lady gardens. It creates an environment where women feel pressured to comply with the current fashion. Hence threads like this one, where the OP feels like she has to do something she's actually terrified of.

I'm as bad as anyone. Although I don't get Brazilians purely because IMO the thin landing strip looks so ridiculously contrived, I do still get bikini waxes, and keep the remaining hair very short. I'm as guilty as anyone of going along with it.

But to say that porn had/has no role in the current fashion is naive and head-in-the-sand mentality.

If having a bikini wax is the most important issue to worry you, then you have far too much time on your hands.

Get a grip.

Who says it's the most important thing she's got to worry about?

""And I really don't get the fresher and more hygienic thing. Would shaving your head make you feel fresher and more hygienic? Heads sweat a lot, you know. And you wouldn't get head lice!"

I have never known my head sweat...and neither do I urinate or defecate from my head, nor produce t'other lubrications (ahem) either."

If you remove your pubic hairnbecause itnmakesyou feel sexy, then OK. If you remove it because your partner findsnit sexy, then insuppose OK, althouni would have issues with q man who wanted me to look either like a character in a porn movie or a girl.

But don't play the hygiene card. Women have, for centuries, been told that their bodies are unclean, are contaminated and contaminating, and need to be controlled and altered to make them acceptable. Removing the pubic hair is the latest manifestation of this. I don't know about all of you, but I don't think I have ever got urine, faeces, menstrual blood or other secretions on my pubic hair. And if I did, I would wash them off. In the same way I would wash them off the bare skin that would still be there if the hair was removed.

And my head certainly gets sweaty if I exercise, it gets greasy and dirty if I don' wash it, and is subject to regular infestations of head lice Nobody suggests that the best solution to this problem is to shave it off.

I don't want my daughter to grow up thinking that yet "another" part of her body has to be managed and changed to make it acceptable. And I certainly don't want her growing up thinking that the porn star aesthetic is the norm.

Out of interest, when do you take your daughters for their first Brazilian?

seeker and SodOffBaldrick Between you I think you have covered everything I feel on this subject. I don't really have anything to add but I wanted to say I agreee with you entirely. Are we in the minoroty? Is it an age thing?

I have a DD of 16 and, as far as I am aware, she hasn't felt the need to attend to herself in this way. I would feel very upset if I the thought that at some point in the future she would put herself through a hideously painful procedure just because she felt she had to to conform to the strangely warped sensibilities of a potential partner

I think the hygiene thing is rubbish too. I guess if someone genuinely enjoys the feeling if having no hair down there then fair enough. But don't try to imply that looking normal is somehow dirty.

Oh, and it is absolutely from porn. Just because you don't watch it or approve of it - that is what you are buying into.

The OP is terrified of having it done, but for some reason feels she ought to. A cosmetic procedure. Instead of saying 'don't do it then' women are swapping tips about painkillers and anaesthetic creams. WTF. Would you be saying the same if the OP was terrified of having botox or a tattoo?

Could all the people who have Brazilians say when they are going to take their daughters for their first waxing? My dd had a full "crop" of pubic hair at 14- would that have been the right time?

I presume you are joking Seeker.
Agree totally with NobleGiraffe.
This is a non essentail procedure. Woman up and refuse to have it done.
Genitals are meant to be hairy. Women aren't Barbie dolls.
If you want to look like a prepubescent porn star fine, but don't pretend you are a bloody martyr for doing so.

Agree with Seeker, NobleGiraffe, 2Rebecca et al.

If something you are doing for cosmetic reasons hurts so much you need to think about why you're having it done and whether you really want to. If you love it, fine, go ahead, but if you are terrified, simply don't do it.

I think there's no harm in trimming.

Fwiw (avert sensitive eyes) I get v v v heavy periods and believe me the ahem matting is quite hard to believe and uncomfortable. So I trim for that reason (incidentally as does dd for exactly the same reason). It's not a hygiene issue but more comfortability.

In fact I think I read that it's more hygienic to have hair as it serves to trap nasties before they reach your vagina!

Each to their own but wince, must be bloody painful to whip it all off!

Trimming aka managing the wild bush :-) not trimming as in having nothing there at all!

Each to their own I guess!

Leg waxes are way worse than bikini waxes (even full on take the lot off ones)- it's momentary pain just swear when she rips it off (helps me when I get mine done).

May I just say that from this bloke's point of view, 'spider legs' are DEAD sexy and I couldn't bear to be with someone who waxed everything off. Ugh.