...to expect DH not to deliberately wake me up early in the mornings?

[NiniLegsInTheAir]

During the week DH gets up at 6:15am and leaves at 6:50am to commute. I, on the other hand, get up at 7am (unless 1 yr old DD wakes up earlier) and get both her and myself ready for the walk to work/nursery. I don't get up any earlier unless DD wakes up as I don't need to.

DH has it in his head that because he's up I "should be up too" and keeps doing things deliberately to wake me up in the morning. For example, this morning he woke me up at 6:30 when emptying the laundry basket in our bedroom as he wanted to put a load of his washing on or he "wouldn't have any socks tomorrow morning". He woke me again at 6:45 as he wanted my advice on what book to read on his commute next.

He always leaves his bedside light on when he gets up even when hes not in the room as he knows it disturbs me - but if he's trying to sleep at night I can't read my book as he "can't sleep with a light on". He doesn't make any effort to try and keep any noise down in the morning, so much so that days when I think DD wakes up early is because he's woken her (she's always tired when she wakes early).

I'm not expecting him to tiptoe round the house but a bit of consideration would be nice. I'm very tired and even an extra few mins of sleep is a bonus .

AIBU or is he?

to be honest it doesnt really sound like hes intentionally waking you up but that you are a light sleeper. Or you re waking easy because you are starting to wake up anyway.

emptying a laundry basket is not loud

What about swapping half the clothes? I think he is being a twunt but you will look like you are creating if you swap all the clothes. Swap half your clothes for all his work clothes 'to make life easier for him' . I think what will happen is that he will find another ten reasons to make your life a misery but at least then you will know. You could swap the clothes around so that your clothes are in the wardrobe and his are on the street... That might work. Any person who deliberately wakes a sleeping child for no good reason is selfish.

ahem, miinmischief
op's 'd'h wakes her up to ask what book she would recommend he reads on his commute to work
that sounds quite deliberate to me

An unfortunate update this evening.

So sorry. I hope you get things sorted for you and DD.

No I wasn't being ironic. I don't think it is fair to make someone get ready for work in the dark, without saying a word, just because you are a SAHM so have a later start time. I also work on the principle that the person at home (man or woman) should stick the wash in, as it is a lot easier to do that when you are in the house than at the office.

However, in the light of your later post I don't think your problem is him waking you up, it's a lot more than that. Good luck, hope you work things out.

Um, OP works and gets up to do the nursery run, Uninspired one...

Just read your update, and so sorry, OP.

Gotta love it when people don't read the full thread - I don't recall saying anywhere that I'm a SAHM . I'm actually a FT working mum who does the nursery run, a day at work, nursery run home and bedtime for DD. He is FT, gets himself (and only himself) to and from work and apparently has the worse deal.

From recent developments things have escalated to the point where I'm telling him we're finished whenever it is he comes home. Onwards and upwards :)

Oh god, sorry. I missed the FT work thing, in which case you are absolutely right, he can wash his own sodding socks. I still think it's fair to allow the first up to put the light on etc, but maybe that's just me

Really sorry about everything
Good luck

He'd have the lamp wrapped around his head in my house. Nob.

I hope things look up soon.

I totally sympathise, ds is 4 months old and a very light sleeper and wakeful in the night. Dp gets up about 10 past 6 and kisses me AND ds so we wake. He then asks random questions which do not need answering at that time! I get up at ten past 7 anyway to get dd ready for school so I'm losing a precious hour due to his behaviour!

Ignore my post! Just seen full thread. Op hope you are ok and your dd also.

Ignore my post! Just seen full thread. Op hope you are ok and your dd also.

YANBU!!!!! My dp thinks its acceptable to get me up an hour before he needs to so that I can bring him tea in bed, despite the fact I don't ask him to get up AT ALL during the night to see to our 2mo dd.
They can be so bloody selfish!!!!