to think it's impossible to have a twelve year old daughter with whom you've never had an argument?

[lottielou39]

A presenter on Loose Women today said that she'd never ever had an argument with her twelve year old daughter. Another presenter said the same thing about her 23 year old daughter. Admittedly their daughters are 'onlys' (and nowt wrong with that) so perhaps the presence of siblings is what makes kids argumentative? I just couldn't believe it. I was gobsmacked. Never argued? Never once, in 12/23 long years of having a daughter, that most argumentative of species?
I've got a 12 year old daughter (she has two siblings) and a week doesn't go by without a spat or two. On her own she's lovely though and very easy to manage. Obviously that's where I'm going wrong. An only child=no arguments.
Is it possible to have never had an argument with one of your kids?

I have a 13 yo dd and we've never argued. She has two siblings.

I took it to mean they meant massive blazing row rather than a common-or-garden argument. I've never had a proper full-on row with my Mum. Ever. We bicker loads though.

Cirkey - my DD (12) is an only child and there is not a day goes by without a fight of some sort. We were just taking the dog out together and she stormed after 20 seconds

She demanded I apologised to her the other evening for my sarcasm, or she was leaving home. I sat on the toilet laughing like a drain for 15 minutes.

I am horrible.

Don't believe it - unless the kids are very odd indeed.

A bit like those married couples who have "30 years and never a cross word". Really? Do you not speak then?

I have a 12 year old only daughter and we fight all the time. We also have many more brilliant times too though

I guess it also depends on how you define an argument. We have never exchanged cross words, and that's how I think of an argument.

I sometimes need to nag her to tidy her room etc but she knows better than to answer back or be cheeky.

Seriously, I think a child demanding an apology from an adult is bloody cheeky.

My dd is 13 and apart from the usual toddler tantrums (which were few and far between) I can't remember ever having a falling out. We have disagreed on a few things, but never in an uncivilised way.

She is a very wise, mature and kind hearted person and has been ever since she could talk.

Her brothers, on the other hand..........................have been a bit challenging............

Me to Memoo. All I had done was hugged her as she came out of a JLS concert.

Never having argued with her daughter doesn't mean they always agree or are always happy with each other.

THB the idea of any adult having a proper argument with a child is beyond thinking about. Why would you? It's not really good role modelling in terms of conflict resolution and contrary to popular belief differences can be sorted without resorting to arguments! IMO if an adult gets inot a proper argument with a child/young person then the adult has lost already!! ( Awaits flaming!)

seriously Memoo, she's never answered back or been cheeky? Are you serious?!!! You see, I'm a fairly strict Mother, I discipline my kids (time out/removal of fun stuff etc.) but they still answer back, bicker, shout,and sometimes scream. And sometimes all at the same time! And often at me!

And I grew up as the eldest of three girls and we fought like CATS and argued with/at my Mother for a large chunk of my child/teenage years.

I suppose it depends on your definition of an argument. We do not have reasoned debate. She objects or wants to do something different to what I want, I say no, she falls out with me and storms off to room, I shrug and carry on.

Same as Memoo, I've never had an argument with DD2, who is 14. A couple with DD1, 18 but nothing terrible, more disagreements really.

cant see it happening with dd2. She uses a VOCA. I can lean over and turn it off.

I can honestly say that non of my children have ever shouted or screamed at me.

Maybe they're storing it up for when they're 15 but we get along pretty well. We do talk about stuff, they have lots of opportunity to express their feelings, we don't always agree, but we have never argued.

What gettinghappy said. Fully agree.

I honestly think it's personality.
I can imagine not rowing with child.
I argue constantly with my DS but we just DON'T get on.
DH and I never argue, it just never happens. Compatibility I think.

Meemoo 'Seriously, I think a child demanding an apology from an adult is bloody cheeky.' Only if the adult WASN'T in the wrong. The demanding bit is wrong but definitely ok in my book for a child of any age to expect ( ask for if not forthcoming) an apology if the adult was in the wrong - we often are :)

I think arguing, proper arguing, between parents and children just isn't very healthy. Being angry with your child doesn't mean you've had an argument. If my son needs to be told off for whatever reason, I may feel annoyed but would never engage in arguing with him. If he attempts to draw me into an argument I won't respond. An argument takes 2 participants. You can't argue if the other person doesn't fuel your fire so to speak :)

I never had a proper argument with my Mum, either. She was incredibly controlling, in subtle ways - withdrawal of everything emotional if I even looked like I was going to disagree about the most minor of things. So I quickly learned to conform, never talk back, never disagree, never ever raise my voice or get cheeky. We'd have huffs where we'd both go off separately and silently, cross, but I'd always come crawling back, trying to be 'good' again, trying to get some warmth back in the relationship.

Not healthy, no. But from the outside, I'm sure everyone thought we got along brilliantly, and I expect Mum did too.

DD2 is 11 and we've never had an argument and she's never shouted or screamed at me.

My other two would argue that black was white just to create an argument! :(

Gettinghappy, I have certainly apologised to my dc for being grumpy or making a bad decision. I have said "do you know what dd, I was wrong" when I've had chance to think about things for longer.

My problem is with a child "demanding" an apology, that doesn't mean they shouldnt expect one.

I suspect what they mean is that they've never had a big fight/row where it has gone OTT, or more than the very odd one. Which is far more believable.

It also depends an awful lot on the personalities of the child and the adults involved. Some people are far less prone to arguements than others.

Meemoo, Sorry I wasn't having a go. I did agree that the demanding part was unacceptable and just wanted to get it out there that it is ok for adults to apologise to children 'cos lots of adults have a major issue with it :)

Withdrawing emotionally from a child is very cruel and certainly not something I would ever do.

I think people are confusing not arguing with not disagreeing. People can disagree about many things without shouting and screaming.

My children are able to disagree with what I say or decisions I make but they do it calmly during a 2 way conversation. Nobody needs to scream or shout.