to think it's impossible to have a twelve year old daughter with whom you've never had an argument?

[lottielou39]

A presenter on Loose Women today said that she'd never ever had an argument with her twelve year old daughter. Another presenter said the same thing about her 23 year old daughter. Admittedly their daughters are 'onlys' (and nowt wrong with that) so perhaps the presence of siblings is what makes kids argumentative? I just couldn't believe it. I was gobsmacked. Never argued? Never once, in 12/23 long years of having a daughter, that most argumentative of species?
I've got a 12 year old daughter (she has two siblings) and a week doesn't go by without a spat or two. On her own she's lovely though and very easy to manage. Obviously that's where I'm going wrong. An only child=no arguments.
Is it possible to have never had an argument with one of your kids?

I'm shocked there are familes who don't argue. We argued most days, probably more as a teen.

And it meant loud voices and things being thrown and broken. I was a right treasure!

I'm very confused about all these non-arguers.

Either they are liars or extremely controlling "We don't want to do that do we" types. Kids argue unless they are totally cowed.

I still think saying ' I beg to differ' is arguing I don't see it as a bad thing

Going to look up the dictionary definition

1 [reporting verb] give reasons or cite evidence in support of an idea, action, or theory, typically with the aim of persuading others to share one?s view: [with clause]: sociologists argue that inequalities in industrial societies are being reduced [no object]: he argued for extra resources [with direct speech]: ?It stands to reason,? she argued
[with object] (argue someone into/out of) persuade someone to do or not to do (something) by giving reasons: I tried to argue him out of it

2 [no object] exchange or express diverging or opposite views, typically in a heated or angry way: the two men started arguing in a local pub figurative I wasn?t going to argue with a gun [with object]: she was too tired to argue the point

So either and explains the differing opnions on this this thread

I never break or throw things in a temper, that's a tantrum and not allowed in my house but of course we disagree, me, dd, dss and dh with each other sometimes.

Nothing too awful though as we all respect each other.

That's exactly what our house is like LeQ. Your DDs sound very similar to mine, and I never did the teenage angst thing either. There was nothing to rebel against so I never bothered.

I cant believe that some people think it is impossible to to get children and teens to do anything without shouting matches.

I have 2 teen boys who are far from perfect but i asked them both the clean and dust their rooms this morning whilst i had to go out and when i returned both had cleaned and dusted their rooms. They know that there is no cleaner going to come in and do it for them and i am busy so they pitch in and do their bit. Is this so odd or do i live in some sort of housework utopia?

No cant, that's how our house works too.

We is singing from the same hymn sheet LeQ.

My Mum was the same, it sort of makes any form of rebelling pointless and rather idiotic. Vair cunning.

Well i think it is pretty much a utopia if you have a household where everyone does their share and you dont have endless conflict over the most basic of everyday tasks.

I am also pretty laidback and hate any form of conflict. I wouldn't let my boys get way with doing whatever they liked to avoid conflict but they have always known i have expectations on them and their behavoiur and so far they haven't let me down.

think different families have different "cultures" - grew up in house with v little arguments but have plenty now - good thing in my mind!

Absolutely Stratters and LeQ - that is exactly how it is in my house. I have 3 (mid/late) teens and a 3 year old. I honestly never have the need to shout at them aside from the occasional nag about tidying their shit pits etc.

I have never been one to say 'No! No! No!' but at the same time, when they do ask if they can go somewhere or do something and I do say no, they just don't question it. Maybe I have been pretty relaxed and easy with them, but they are polite, well mannered and generally extremely helpful teens.

The girls go out, have fun, get pissed, but they also work extremely hard at school and are wonderful with their little sister. DS is the same, (without the getting trashed bit - yet). He doesn't have the tidiest of rooms, but really? Is it worth fighting over trivial shit like that? I don't think it is.

I think that my more than laid back approach to my teens, coupled with involving them with chores from a very early age, so that it appears the norm, has given us all a nice smooth path through the years. DD3 is being treated in exactly the same way, and with any luck she'll be ok too....She's certainly a feisty child, but I don't need to raise my voice at her. The 'look' does it

I think alot of it is to do with personality. My brother and i had the same up bringing but we are completly different in our views, parenting temperments.
He is very like our mum, highly strung and would argue back is white, loses his temper very easily and can be quite moody.
I am more like my dad, even tempered and my brother says i live in my own little bubble and dont let anything outside of that bubble effect me.

Strats and LeQ, perhaps we could do some sort of exchange program? I could borrow your lovely DDs for a bit and you could have DS for a visit! :o

He is an arguer, and a shouter, and a door slammer, and he's not quite five. Sigh...we are working on it and I'm quite strict with him and how I expect to be spoken to, but I have known since he was a tiny baby that I was in for it. You never saw such determination in month-old eyes.

He is a lovely, lovely boy, but he knows his mind.

Cantspel that is my family exactly! My father and I are steady as she goes, but my mother and brother never met an point they wouldn't argue with gusto. They live to be riled up, I swear!

It must be exhausting.

Come to think of it, maybe I am the confrontional one, and DD is just channelling me. [buhmm].

I was once described as a ray of sunshine.

Just the once. [bugrin]