To expect MIL to see her new grandson more than once every six weeks?

[Ashappyaslarry]

Ds is 4 months old. We are visiting MIL next week for Easter. Last time MIL visited was 6 weeks ago. And before that it was another 6 weeks since she'd seen him and in fact it was us that visited her. Before that it was 4 weeks since they visited, which was for Christmas. AIBU to expect her to want to see her grandson more frequently? They live 1 hr away.

YABU to expect it yes.

YWNBU to be disappointed that she isnt too bothered about seeing him though.

YABU yes. It's up to her if she wants to see him or not (and you, of course, if you want to see her)

It would be nice if she wanted to see him more, but she doesn't have to.

My DS is 7mo. I don't think MIL-to-be has seen him since January, but I know she adores him.

Sounds about even to me...she visits you as much as you visit her from what you've said.

I think that some people really appreciate spending time with babies, and some people are much happier spending time with children when they're slightly older. My dad adores babies, talks endlessly about the fascinating changes he's seen since the previous week, etc etc. My FiL is great, and endlessly patient, with slightly older children, but can't think of any way to interact with babies.

Once every six weeks is quite a lot if you have a busy life. Not to you, because you see the baby day in day out and probably can't imagine a world without him now, but he is not the centre of everyone's world, not even a grandparent, necessarily. They may think "ah how lovely, the baby", and still not feel the need to go visit every five minutes (or fortnight, or month or whatever). An hour there and an hour back might be too much of a hassle for her.

My MIL didn't meet ds1 until he was 5. That's 5 years old btw!

Drive me mad by then I thought you know what, your loss. Don't worry about it, although you will, I know but really she's the One losing out.

She may want to see him more often but can't for a variety of reasons

An hour is a 2 hour round trip, so she can't just pop in

6 weeks sounds healthy to me if she's not local.

She might actually have her own things to be getting on with as well. It doesn't mean she loves your ds any less - she's just busy with her own life. Good for her.

How far away does she live? Next door? YANBU. Over an hour away? YABU.

6 weeks sounds about normal to me.

yabu - 6 weeks isn't that long, esp with a 2 hour round trip

Yabu. She might be busy. Maybe doesn't like a 2hr round-trip. 6 weeks isn't that long a time. If you think she should see gc more maybe pop round and see her more often yourself?

Thats more often than my inlaws see the dc as they are 3 and a half hrs away. I dont think , however, it doesnt necessarily means she doesnt WANT to see him. I send phots to both gps regularly, we visit when we can and so do they. (both sets live same dist away )

Everlong can you be my DDs new Grandma? :)

MIL has met DD 3 times (for about an hour) in her 13 year life - we live about 200 miles away but MIL is not interested in her only granddaughter - some people just aren't - it's her loss.

sorry, too many doesnts!! Too much wine this end - its the holidays dont you know!!

Sounds reasonable to me, YABU.

YABU, she is grandmother not mother.

My mum sees a her grandkids 3 times a year

an hour away is quite far 2 hr round trip yabu to expect her to see him more however i can see why you are dissapointed about her not seeing him ,

Sadly, I think you are being VU.

Once every six weeks is amoke for many grandparents.

An hour's journey is not inconsiderable.

Think that's alright tbh. My ILs are 25 minutes away and if we didn't visit them they would not see their grandchildren for months. They love them but as far as they are concerned it is our job to visit them not the other way around. FIL is in college 5 mins away and he still never calls down to see them unless I specifically ask him and give him a time and even then he never stays long.
I think they are just uncomfortable in other people's houses.
Is MIL very busy. She seems to visit on holidays is this because it is when she has time off? Maybe it is not easy for her to get away.

How long does she see him for when you visit each other? Are they overnight visits? 4 months is not a long period of time to get into a routine of visiting, so I think yabu to get too worked up about it - give it time. Make sure she knows you would welcome more visits, but chances are she may be able to interact more when her dgc is older. She can phone as well as visit when they can talk.