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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to think this was an ott reaction??

172 replies

amibu · 01/04/2012 00:05

I've namechanged for this.
I went to someones house a few days back,
my DS was unfortunately very overtired , hyper and it had been a long day and his dummy had been misplaced which was making calming it down very difficult. He had an incident with a glass coaster which luckily didnt break when I'd tried to get it off him.
He wanted to colour in the living room but wasnt allowed.
I was trying to get him to sit down when one of the women said;

'I'm not being funny but don't let him touch anything or jump on the chairs I've worked really hard for what I've got!'

I was a bit embarassed and shocked, I didnt respond at all. another person did apologise for the behaviour as the whole room fell silent.

AIBU to feel a bit humiliated by this comment when it appeared obvious I was trying to calm a little monster down?

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 01/04/2012 16:36

Eek! I wouldn't have wanted anyone colouring in my front room either and wrestling over a glass coaster probably finished the poor woman off! As someone said earlier it's not up to others to baby proof their houses. I have told guests to stop their kids bouncing in my sofa before - don't care if it was rude or not, it cost a bloody fortune and I need to make it last a long time.

On the other hand my ds was very hands on as a toddler so I would never have taken him anywhere he couldn't let off steam in the garden.

Rhinosaurus · 01/04/2012 16:45

I am very interested as to the reaction of the op's dp, particularly as this was at a colleagues house?

I am not concerned about my literacy skills, thanks for everyone's concern, but when the op presented her concerns as:
"improve you're literacy skills" instead of "your", I literally did laugh out loud.

SuePurblybilt · 01/04/2012 16:47

Morto, I imagine, wasn't he upstairs pricing a job or something?

Shock at all the deletions atm. Are MNHQ aiming for a quota?

Rhinosaurus · 01/04/2012 16:50

I was off reading my Janet and John books and didn't see what the posts were!

SuePurblybilt · 01/04/2012 16:51

Me neither.

ThisIsANickname · 01/04/2012 16:51

Wait, what? I just asked a couple of pertinent questions.

Mostly, I just wanted to know why the OP was saying that people were twisting the situation when she had earlier made it clear that this was all an April Fools prank (meaning there was no real situation for people to be twisting in the first place).

My word, if asking questions of an OP is wrong we should probably just get rid of AIBU altogether.

Haziedoll · 01/04/2012 16:52

This was an April fools prank?

But it wasn't even funny or interesting.

ThisIsANickname · 01/04/2012 16:57

Well, that's how I (and from what I can see, a few other) posters got from amibu posting at 09:15 "why is is an april fool?"

But then the thread continued, with the OP continuing to post as if this was a genuine AIBU, so that is what I was seeking to clarify.

WhereYouLeftIt · 01/04/2012 16:59

ThisIsANickname, when did she make that clear? Or has that been deleted too?

SauvignonBlanche · 01/04/2012 17:00

Ireported the OP's post from 16:03, I didn't find it remotely offensive but was curious to see how MN would react and whether they just automatically delete a reported post. It seems they do.
I guess your post was deleted ThisIsaNickname as you repeated the post I reported - sorry! Blush
Isn't April Fool's day supposed to finish at 12?
Loving the irony Rhino Grin

ThisIsANickname · 01/04/2012 17:01

Go back to around 9:15 today. That's how the conversation goes.

ThisIsANickname · 01/04/2012 17:02

Sauvignon No worries then! I was just so confused.

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 01/04/2012 17:16

OP you sound like you wear working hard to stop your son calm. Even the most relaxed toddler can turn into a squirming ball of outrage when they are tired.

But YABU to expect this woman to child proof her house for your child. It doesn't matter what you, your Mum and your Grandma do with regards to trinkets if your son is opening cupboards and jumping on chairs. Those are not trinkets and they are not things she could have moved out of his reach.

And regardless of what you would do at home to move breakable items out of his way, or out of the way of visiting toddlers, you can't dictate that others do the same for your son in their own home. No matter what you do at home, your son would be safer and more welcome in the homes of others if you teach him not to touch other peoples belongings and not to jump on their furniture and not to go through their cupboards.

No matter what you do at home for him or for visitors, it's your job as his parents to keep him safe and to make sure he behaves in someone else's home and respects their property. If they want to go a step further to protect something from him or protect him from something by moving it then that should be up to them but YABU to expect it, especially when it's something like a chair.

If he had broken something would you have offered to replace it or blamed her for not moving it in the first place.

Rhinosaurus · 01/04/2012 17:17

I think she meant
"why is it an April Fool?"

SauvignonBlanche · 01/04/2012 17:17

It's been a very confusing thread!

WhereYouLeftIt · 01/04/2012 17:23

That's how I read it Rhino.

Cherriesarelovely · 01/04/2012 17:57

I feel for you OP. It sounds like a really stressful cringemaking experience and we ALL have a few of those when our DCs are little. My DD was the calmest, easiest, good natured baby/toddler ever, i can't pretend she was hard work (I'm not boasting, she was just very easy) but she still had one or two cracking tantrums, the kind where everyone stares at you dissaprovingly!

I remember when we went to a friend's house for our DCs to play and my DD who was about 2.5 suddenly had a meltdown because my friend didn't have any scisscors for her to cut out with. It was so embarrassing! I felt like crying "She's not normally like this!"

Having said that I have had children visit who are absolutely all over the place and wrecking stuff and if their parents do nothing to stop them it IS very stressful. You WERE trying to calm your DS down and were clearly under pressure. In that case my approach would have been similar to 1950's and i would try to help you. Just try to forget it though, it is over now and you never have to go back!

MNHQ
HelenMumsnet · 01/04/2012 18:16

@SauvignonBlanche

Ireported the OP's post from 16:03, I didn't find it remotely offensive but was curious to see how MN would react and whether they just automatically delete a reported post. It seems they do. I guess your post was deleted ThisIsaNickname as you repeated the post I reported - sorry! Blush Isn't April Fool's day supposed to finish at 12? Loving the irony Rhino Grin

Hello. Just to be clear, we don't automatically delete a reported post. We only delete a post if it breaches our Talk Guidelines.

SuePurblybilt · 01/04/2012 18:18
LunaLunatic · 01/04/2012 19:07

My post was deleted! Shock

Just out of interest, talk guidelines say:

?No personal attacks
?No posts that break the law
?No trolling, goading or misleading
?No trollhunting
?No spamming

I didn't do any of those things, so why the deletion? All I said was I see both sides, and that other posters telling OP to next time arm her child with chocolate or pens was out of line...

Meh!

plutocrap · 01/04/2012 19:50

You haven't answered how this benefited your DP's work. It was bloody unfair of him to take you on a work-related call, particularly when it was already clear DS was close to melting down.

So he and (presumably) another man were jawing happily about "shop" far from the domestic scene, leaving the women to deal with the domestic stuff?

Although if the woman invited you in (trying to impress as the sort of hostess who facilitates her DH's work), I bet she sure regrets it now!

Original poster
amibu · 01/04/2012 21:37

This is not an april fools.

I've said that a few times.

obviously I dont want to give out details but both people are in the same line of work and were essentially having a conversation upstairs about whilst I tried to calm DS and stay awake downstairs.

OP posts:
Original poster
amibu · 01/04/2012 21:37

Why were my messages deleted? for telling people to stop twisting my words?

Oh well I'm leaving this now.

OP posts:
Rhinosaurus · 01/04/2012 21:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
amibu · 01/04/2012 22:53

Well you did personally attack me first actually,your post was insanely agrressive. twisted my words, etc.

Why come on AIBU to be aggressive which you were, don't give what you can't take, its as simple as that.

I never said I couldnt cope with it at all but when people type utter drivel and twist what I am saying then I will defend myself.

OP posts: