to be upset school taught my 4 year old about the crucifixion

[littlemslazybones]

It's a CoE school, so I knew that this would come up at some point.

But he's 4!! And he is understandably upset and a little confused that someone would be tortured and nailed to a cross. In the bath, he was pointing at the palm of his hand and saying "and mummy, they just hammered it in, right through here".

And if they are going to do it, shouldn't they attempt to do it in an age appropriate way? My son came home with the impression that the crucifixion was some elaborate terrifying naughty corner. He was telling me how, once nailed to the cross, Jesus decided to be good. (Even as an atheist, I'm baulking at the blasphemy). At the very least, they should allow them to ask questions afterwards, right?

I'm dreading what might come today. My Dad died this time last year and I don't want to spend the Easter hols explaining how people can not come back to life. AIBU to ask the school to be more gentle with this stuff?

YABU. It is a church school. I can understand your reasons for wanting to play it down a bit but to cut out a crucial part of a story that has been told over thousands of years is ridiculous. I for one would be annoyed if my son came home with an embellished version because the teacher was asked by a parent not to talk about it. I would be concentrating on working out how to explain it more clearly myself to him than asking teachers not to teach.

We're v secular, and DS is in a CofE school because that was the only one available. I've "done" Jesus as political dissident. He was nailed to a piece of wood because he was saying things the Romans didn't like, and crucifixion was their fave method of execution.
Re the resurrection, i've said that there are some people who liked him very much and hope he comes back to life, but that it's impossible.
DS doesn't go to assembly; there's a lot of kids who don't at his school (29 languages spoken, folks from all over the world), so he doesn't feel singled out, which would have been a concern.

I try to approach it in a very practical and historical/factual manner, and wouldn't dream of insulting or deriding Xians.....not "real" ones anyway IYSWIM.

yabu
you sent him to a church school

I haven't asked the teacher not to talk about it! I wouldn't do that. I asked if my son could sit it out, if that was possible. Because that would be kind not because it is right.

DD's school isn't CofE, but they're still learning about Easter and Christ's crucifixion. It's part of their education. She's 5, and she's just taking everything in her stride. Perhaps they haven't dwelt too much on the nails and pain bit. She's also been learning about Easter at Church and they are very careful not to upset young children - it's all been taught very gently.

You see this is it, I thought it would be taught gently. And that it would ramp up year-on-year as they got older.

I think if you choose to send your dc to a church school then it isn't that surprising when they teach them about religion. This is why my son won't be going to a church school (although in Scotland I think the only church schools are catholic ones?).

I don't really understand why the government funds religious schools anyway but that's another subject I suppose.

Have to add, though....DS is pretty Teflon and isn't easily freaked out. He asked (re nails) "So he wouldn't be able to run anymore?"

I remember bei g told about Joan of Arc at around the age of five. Apparently the smoke would have sent her to sleep before she was in any pain. I didn't believe that then, and I know that's not the case now. I have to admit I have an absolute lifelong horror of this method of execution. Why this particular teacher told us about her I have no idea, but I really wish she hadn't.
However, whether to avoid the central tenet of a religion is a tough call. "The nails were very sharp, so didn't hurt, then he felt v tired and be SMS unconscious"?
I don't know.
I wish religion was kept out of schools too. There are lots of other ways to instill compassion and love for the world.

"I think if you choose to send your dc to a church school..." [head/desk]

As the op any many others said, in a lot of places you get NO choice. It's C of E or home ed. Or private.

Oh ffs, am too ill for spelling and grammar.

YANBU "Christians believe Jesus was unfairly put to death but came back to life because he was special" without the gore.

YABU expecting them to 'swerve' the issue, at the very least it's cultural knowledge, not to mention it's the most important part of the school's religion. The teacher was bitching about you in the staffroom and/or laughing at you.

Have you asked how they did approach it exactly? You can't really tell these stories without the torture parts as they are important but there is age appropriate information. I can't see a 4 year old being taught in a manner that is suitable for someone who is 8 for example, if that is the case then yes complain. Tbh I could tell my son a whole story and he would probably fixate on the most disgusting part and forget the rest. I completely understand your reasons but personally I wouldn't want him to miss out on that, he may well pick it up from someone else. I would rather he be taught that stuff in a more sensitive way from a teacher and myself than excluding him and then his friends telling him their version at play time.

YeP, showofhands. Where are all these amazing secular schools? There is one out of our catchment where the waiting list is three or four years. Really. Even kids within catchment don't get in because it has a v small intake each year.

And as for teachers laughing and bitching in the staff room.....maybe they should just turn the other bloody cheek, eh?

No, sorry. I've confused everyone here. I get that in an earlier post I said if we could swerve the Resurrection. I mean we my son and by extension my family. I asked for him to sit this out, this year, and maybe he could read his own book. I'm not asking the class to do anything different.

I don't think that expression means what you think it means.

Boo hoo. The fact remains that if s/he is laughing and bitching it hardly reflects well, does it?

I haven't complained about the teaching of the Crucifixion.
I was shocked that he was taught this at 4 (Looking on it, I am being unreasonable here. I should have seen it coming but didn't)
I was shocked, I think reasonably, by the level of detail given.
I think it was unfair that he couldn't ask some important questions afterwards. Because I think those same teachers would be best placed to answer them.

I asked if my son could sit out the Resurrection. Because that would be kind - because I'm not best placed to be talking about death and life at the moment. Not because I EXPECT it but because that would be kind. The jury is out on whether that is reasonable to ask, but I did it anyway.

minouminou: "I remember being told about Joan of Arc at around the age of five. Apparently the smoke would have sent her to sleep before she was in any pain. I didn't believe that then, and I know that's not the case now. I have to admit I have an absolute lifelong horror of this method of execution."

That is exactly the story that upset me at the same age in the book I had. And, like you, I have had a lifelong horror of it. I used to torment myself by imagining being killed by this method, or worse, members of my family being killed by it. It was a very early introduction to human beings' capacity for extreme cruelty - too early, in my view.

But still astonished at the number of people saying "You send him to a C of E school, so what do you expect?" I dunno, maybe a bit of sensitivity and compassion towards the feelings of very small children? Or is that too much to expect from a Christian school?

I remember in history learning about Gengis Khan burying people alive in a type of concrete mixture (don't know how accurate the concrete mixture thing is as I don't want to know more.) Has haunted me ever since tbh.

Well it is Easter and the school is religious so I dont think this is out of the ordinary.
In Catholic churches in Ireland you have the stations of cross on the wall and a big Jesus on the cross pretty much everywhere so you basically grow up with that image. Thinking back on it, its quite weird really.....

My DDs (also 4) have come home with all these stories about Jesus being nailed to a cross and his mummy putting him in a cave . My problem is that their school isn't a faith school. I don't mind them learning the myths but I agree with the OP that the gory details could be toned down for the imaginative 4 year olds.

Anyway, blasphemy is a victimless crime so I wouldn't get too worked up about it.

I think the Romans had a form of concrete, so Genghis may well have.
Oddly enough, he's a bit of a hero of mine. I'm sending you vibes of love for the Khan as I type........ Just think....firm but fair (like the concrete)......

A hero of yours . Admittedly I was still very young in school when I learned about Gengis Khan, but everything I learned was that he was a bit of a sadist.

I have to say after this thread & the last one about CofE schools I would have serious doubts about sending my child to one even if it was the best local school!

It would definitely be a deal-breaker for me now if we were considering a move to a village where a CofE school was the only choice.

My own village school where I grew up wasn't CofE but even then we had hymns at assembly every day & prayers, and we learnt about no other religions apart from Christianity. I really don't want the same for my children!

Take.your.child.out.of.a.faith.school.and.send.them.to.one.that.is.secular.