to be upset school taught my 4 year old about the crucifixion

[littlemslazybones]

It's a CoE school, so I knew that this would come up at some point.

But he's 4!! And he is understandably upset and a little confused that someone would be tortured and nailed to a cross. In the bath, he was pointing at the palm of his hand and saying "and mummy, they just hammered it in, right through here".

And if they are going to do it, shouldn't they attempt to do it in an age appropriate way? My son came home with the impression that the crucifixion was some elaborate terrifying naughty corner. He was telling me how, once nailed to the cross, Jesus decided to be good. (Even as an atheist, I'm baulking at the blasphemy). At the very least, they should allow them to ask questions afterwards, right?

I'm dreading what might come today. My Dad died this time last year and I don't want to spend the Easter hols explaining how people can not come back to life. AIBU to ask the school to be more gentle with this stuff?

Thanks for coming back to me, flogging. Perhaps in some cases you may be right, but in my and the OP's cases the first time the LO's had encountered the story in detail was outside the home and they returned to us already upset. We didn't get a chance to influence their reactions.

Perhaps the key is that we grew up in a place where this story was taught to children from before they could speak so it was taken for granted by them before it could be thought about? I do think though people didn't go into those details so young then, maybe people had more of a habit of simplifying things for kids until recently?

Whilst DD is quite empathetic she is also normally quite stoic. She does cry over deaths but does not react in this extreme way over illness related deaths. I suspect it is to do with the sudden exposure to the idea that someone could and would torture and murder someone else. Also the fact that as has been mentioned they have just got used to the 'sweet baby Jesus' thing a couple of months earlier.

Quite how resurrection can be taught without making bereaved children think that their relative could be brought back is another difficult question. I do understand that all children need a grounding in Christian stories and beliefs as Christianity is still the dominant religion here and has shaped our country's history and culture, it is just the way it is handled I sometimes have issues with.

I also wonder if, when we were younger, horrors like ancient tortures and executions could be explained and lessened as being "long ago and far away". Now we have omnipresent media, IT-savvy kids etc etc, we can't pretend to them that they're at a huge remove from things like this anymore.

And Fario makes a good point there - it's the intent to hurt and murder someone that's shocking.

Well, the school went above and beyond, and let ds go on a bug hunt with the TA during the story of the Resurrection.

I'm really pleased and really grateful to the classroom staff for this favour . Would it be unreasonable to buy them a box of chocs?

I have a year to get ready for the next round when I'll be more organised and will have ds better prepared for this. Also, he may be less sensitive by then. I am continually surprised by how much he changes year on year but then he is my pfb!

Thanks for your help.

That's great.

Ah I'm glad they were so understanding. I can remember being allowed out of lessons because of subject matter which upset me (not religious, we were studying folk/fairy tales of the Bluebeard variety which included v nasty things being done to women) & I'm glad to hear schools are still capable of being understanding about sensitive children.

Just to repeat: not all young children love blood & guts, some hate it. Of course you shouldn't shield children from the realities of life, but there's a time & place for everything. I think the school did the right thing here.

I am amazed when people who send their children to C of E schools, regardless of whether they have a choice or not, complain that the child is told about religious happenings. If you send your child to such a school it is your duty to explain to them such things - if the school has upset your child you should raise your concerns.

The school I went to was a CofE one and was the only one around. They bussed kids from the next village.

Very thankful that public schools in the US can't do it.

This sort of thing is why I don't send dc to a faith school - horrible memories of the HT at my own RC primary working himself into an unlovely froth over his own graphic description of the Stations of the Cross - someone fainted every bloody year.

& frankly, I got the distinct impression that for HT, that was very much the point. Horrible man. Sooner have mine raised by wolves tbh.

So I send my dc to a perfectly ordinary non-faith primary, where, as others have pointed out, they still get taught prescriptive RI rather than comparative RE because unfortunately that's the law in this country.

But at least I can counter it robustly at home - if I'd signed up for it, at a designated faith school, that would've been a little more problematic I suppose.