to be upset school taught my 4 year old about the crucifixion

[littlemslazybones]

It's a CoE school, so I knew that this would come up at some point.

But he's 4!! And he is understandably upset and a little confused that someone would be tortured and nailed to a cross. In the bath, he was pointing at the palm of his hand and saying "and mummy, they just hammered it in, right through here".

And if they are going to do it, shouldn't they attempt to do it in an age appropriate way? My son came home with the impression that the crucifixion was some elaborate terrifying naughty corner. He was telling me how, once nailed to the cross, Jesus decided to be good. (Even as an atheist, I'm baulking at the blasphemy). At the very least, they should allow them to ask questions afterwards, right?

I'm dreading what might come today. My Dad died this time last year and I don't want to spend the Easter hols explaining how people can not come back to life. AIBU to ask the school to be more gentle with this stuff?

4 year olds do tend to that kind of thing in their stride though.

Good job I wasn't teaching it - I tend to start crying when I talk about the crucifixion (cue me blubbing to a bunch of 9 year-olds when I explained that God sent his baby down to earth so that he could be killed)

It'll be a bit harder if he's recently lost his granddad, but I promise it won't scar him for life. (or even until Pentecost)

Come on, now, Littlems, stop beating yourself up. You did what you thought was best, and in time he'll work it out for himself in his own way.

for x-posts - the was at the questions bit.
sorry.

Maybe you should not have sent your child to a church school

Maybe you should read the thread a bit more closely.

"was that directed at me bonfire? I dont agree that a 4 year old gets taught about crucufxon! brutal stuff. I just think religion is such a huge part of life that even if non religious there is no harm is having awareness of it"

No - I'm pretty sure it wasn't (though I'm having trouble remembering exactly who / what it was directed at )

And I agree, of course children should have an awareness of religion and be taught about it. In an age-appropriate way, of course.

littlems for me, stardust is the happiest ending there could be!

I remember as a child being really worried about heaven, and getting exactly no satisfactory answers. (For example, my father has been married 4 times to date, plus other relationships, and my mum hates him. How would the accommodation be sorted? And what about my friends, we moved a lot and we weren't all friends all the time, Anyway, what about pets? And isn't heaven sort of... boring? )

When I finally (pretty late, about 27 years old) realised that I didn't have to believe in anything, and that this is it, I had a tremendous sense of relief.

The stardust story is one I give my kids, and it can be beautiful, more so than tacky sparkly angels and horror stories about Granny watching you on the loo. (That last one might just have been me )

Hmmm, tricky. My dd isn't talking yet so not sure how gullible a 4 year old is or whether you'd want to revisit it anyway, unless he hears something contradictory at school? Maybe now it's Easter Jesus can gather up the stardust and take Grandad to heaven or make him into a new star??

This has been an interesting discussion. I'm sorry to hear about your loss and subsequent dilemma, and I hope you have found some answers here, OP.

I also hope your DS finds some answers and resolution soon.

I'll never forget my sister telling me that when her dad died (half sister, lot older than me), on the day of his funeral she was left with an elderly neighbour. She was upset at seeing the cortege leave, as she knew her dad was in the box. She tried to get out of the front door and was dragged back, smacked soundly on the legs and told not to be silly.

THAT'S how you don't deal with bereavement.

Worra You're the lone voice of sanity on this thread, but I fear you're shouting against the wind.

Not very gullible. Santa went out the window last year. I've been reduced to inventing 'the special baby hole' in less than ten questions in talking about how babies get out, I had an opening bid with...'let's talk about that in a few years'.

Thanks Crunchy. I needed that.

Thanks miniouminou. Some of this has been very helpful. Whatever ds comes home with, I'm ready for it.

I think stardust is a lovely idea too

Heaven can be a troublesome and over-rated concept imo!

Essentially, that's what we are. All our elements were formed from the deaths of stars. Amazing idea.

I have to go and get some of that work stuff done now!

Just to clarify, while the OP has, not through choice, sent her child to a CoE school, mine are at a non denominational school - but it's not secular, because there are no secular schools in the UK. So you are essentially insisting that Christianity ought to be taught as fact in every school in the UK barring the Islamic/ Jewish/ Sikh ones.

No that is not what I am saying; if that is what I meant to have said, I would have.

It is not the school's fault that there are no other schools in the area, just as it isn't the parent's or child's fault. Because they are a faith school, they are well within their rights to teach their faith as truth to their students.

I also don't believe that non-denominational schools should be afforded the same priveledge as a declared faith school. If it is non-denominational, it should incorporate any and all beliefs or none at all.

But there is no point in getting angry with a faith school for teaching faith. That'd be a bit like being angry that science class teaches evolution. It's absurd. If you don't want them to believe it's truth then you are welcome to teach them whatever you like when they come home.

Worra raises interesting questions, but the 'lone voice of sanity' flogging, really? You actually believe that it is insane to want your children to be spared the graphic details of an execution at the age of 4? The mind boggles.

In my school when I was wee (admittedly a while back) they certainly didn't go into that level of detail in p1. I think I would have been at least 10 which is much more acceptable. Perhaps that is why I was not as upset as my DD. Either that or perhaps she over-identified due to her recent abdominal surgery and buckets of needles in her hands. Or perhaps those kids who were upset were simply not discussed.

You are an atheist yet you send your child to a CofE school and then get huffy, when they reach the crucifixion and resurrectuon? I'm no theologian, but isn't that bit integral to the Christian faith?

If you don't want them exposed to Christian teaching, send them to a county primary school.

I know it's a long thread so, in summary

You are an atheist yet you send your child to a CofE school - Yes
and then get huffy - a little
when they reach the crucifixion and resurrectuon? - because of the way in which it was taught
isn't that bit integral to the Christian faith? Of course,
If you don't want them exposed to Christian teaching - I do
send them to a county primary school - of which there are none.

And repeat.

Looks at blank Word document once more.....got serious writer's block today.....

Farlo not at all; it's just that I was raised in a predominately Catholic country, and seriously, nobody I know personally or have even heard of had any issues with this in the slightest, whether we were less cosseted or were indeed made of sterner stuff I don't know, but there seems a huge amount of over reaction on this thread and it's all (obviously) on the part of the parents. Maybe if you don't make it a big deal for your kids then it's not a big deal, you know? Seemed to work for my generation (and I'm under 40, btw)

" there seems a huge amount of over reaction on this thread and it's all (obviously) on the part of the parents. Maybe if you don't make it a big deal for your kids then it's not a big deal, you know?"

The OP explicitly states that her 4 year old is upset and confused about graphic tales of Jesus's torture and death. SHE didn't upset and confuse him with tales of Jesus being tortured, his school (presumably) did - which is WHY the OP is upset.

Littlems I think you have reacted remarkably well to some of the stuff on this thread - respect to you

My view - YADNBU. I totally understand where you're coming from and I think I would feel exactly the same about everything you said. Bless your little DS, I hope he gets over it...

And I have to thank you for this thread. My DS goes to school in autumn, aged 4 (late August baby) and he is a sensitive little soul.
It's a CoE school and I will now make sure to ask teachers how they are going to approach these things, and what are my options if I don't think it's age-appropriate.

Just to inject a bit of humour......