to be upset school taught my 4 year old about the crucifixion

[littlemslazybones]

It's a CoE school, so I knew that this would come up at some point.

But he's 4!! And he is understandably upset and a little confused that someone would be tortured and nailed to a cross. In the bath, he was pointing at the palm of his hand and saying "and mummy, they just hammered it in, right through here".

And if they are going to do it, shouldn't they attempt to do it in an age appropriate way? My son came home with the impression that the crucifixion was some elaborate terrifying naughty corner. He was telling me how, once nailed to the cross, Jesus decided to be good. (Even as an atheist, I'm baulking at the blasphemy). At the very least, they should allow them to ask questions afterwards, right?

I'm dreading what might come today. My Dad died this time last year and I don't want to spend the Easter hols explaining how people can not come back to life. AIBU to ask the school to be more gentle with this stuff?

And i do think there is a difference between a collective act of worship i.e. few hymns maybe a small prayer and the religion and religious attitudes that infuse a traditional catholic school.

I was referring to the OP, of course...!

Marynot the thing is would you be explaining it from a stop start to a 4 year old?

I don't remember there ever being an all in one go 'here's Jesus he died in agony, here are the pictures, actually here's a statue with blood' moment.

Mary I'm glad I'm not the only one who has some sympathy for the OP.

Yes of course it's to be expected in a CofE school, but age appropriate is the key here. I wouldn't have wanted to know about nails being hammered into people aged 4, it would have upset me dreadfully.
(I was a very sensitive child, so it probably would have upset me at 7 or 8, too, but still...)

lesley, I am not a Catholic NOW, but my mum and brothers/sisters are and I had a very strict RC upbringing. This is a C of E school we are talking about, although some of the more fundamentalist ones might take the hardline teaching of the crucifixion quite seriously (like Jesus died because of you).

And helpyourself, yes I have explained it to a 4yo, but I've never explained it in terms of HOW he died, rather that he did die. I've always explained it in terms of the Resurrection as well. Not to belittle the dying, but at that age, there doesn't need to be the same emphasis.

Mary - Sorry got confused I thought it was a catholic school. I wouldn't have expected anywhere near this level of detail in a C of E school tbh.

Right, I agree, I sent him to a CoE SChool, I knew that we would get to the crucifixion eventually. I assumed, incorrectly, that we had a year or two leeway.

I went to a CoE school and enjoyed it immensely. I enjoyed learning about the Christian faith and when I got to about 9 I decided I believe in God. I thought I'd offer my son the same opportunity. I'm happy for my son to believe in God and Christian teachings and then he can adopt it as an adult or step away, like I did. In many respects, I think my life would be easier if I did have faith.

Anyway, I had a chat with the teacher this morning and asked if we could swerve the rising from the dead bit. Not because I feel entitled, just because my son has only got his head around his Granddad dying.

Thanks for your thoughts. Just needed to get things right in my head.

That I didn't believe in God. Sorry.

"and asked if we could swerve the rising from the dead bit"

So you mean the bit that's the most important part of Christian faith then? I hope they ignore you.

I was ready to pitch in with sympathy but that really takes the biscuit. Either show a bit of respect for the religion that the school is based on or take your child out.

YABVU

Ds was told at the same age I think, he asked if they used blu tack as he thought nails would really really hurt.

Er, because my son is hopeful that one day my Dad will just walk through the door. I don't think this will help. The Resurrection might be too confusing for him.
I hope they do listen to me.

Sorry, I'm not trying to piss anyone off not referring to it as the Resurrection. I was thinking how they will present that information to my son

Sorry littlems, there's no way they can listen to you. In every single class in every year there will be children who have recently lost relatives. What do you suggest they do? Just pretend the crucifixion isn't part of the religion at all? You are being absolutely ridiculous to be honest.

Also it's a C of E school - what on earth did you expect?

If the resurrection is confusing you need to explain properly.

I think your reasons for sending your DS to a CofE school are all well and good but they are obviously not working for you if you are objecting to their teachings.

You can't tell them to leave out important bits, even if he did sit out on the discussion the other children may well mention it afterwards.

Littlems I am really curious what the teacher's response was to you asking her not to talk about the resurrection.

I remember I son coming home in floods of tears at the age of 5 from a secular school after being told about the crucifixion. We are a practicing Christian family. Children need to learn about the world at their own pace. It is good for children to learn about the beliefs of the five major religions and history of the world.

You would not teach a reception class about the holocaust and I don't think a reception child needs the details of the passion.

Its fine that you don't believe in God. I think an athetist should say that Jesus suffered a rather nasty death, some people believe that he came back to life. However plenty of people like yourself disagree. Lots of innocent people are murdered in horrible ways.

Sorry, how do you expect them to tailor the crucifixion to every individual child and family situation?

They have just covered this at DS1's (non-religious) school too, apparently "The baddies thought Jesus was going to do something rude so they nailed him to a cross and he bled loads and then he died and then he came back to life." As an atheist I have just gone down the route of "That's an interesting story, of course people don't come back to life in the real world do they?"

OP, I'm sorry for your loss but I think your son is brighter than you give him credit for and will be able to differentiate between the Son of God dying for us, resurrected and then ascending to Heaven and his grandad. If nothing else, his school should have taught him that Jesus was a very, very unusual case!

:-/ at the holocaust being compared with the crucifixion...

I was actually told not to mention the holocaust (to older children) by a parent because it was all a very, very long time ago and nothing like that had ever happened since

Ok, have calmed down a bit.

To the original AIBU, YANBU to think that the Easter story should be presented in an age-appropriate way. You can talk about Gethsemane and the trial and Jesus dying on the cross without going into gory details and most 4 year olds will accept that. Any questions on exactly how it happened can be fielded as blandly as possible.

For the resurrection bit, YABU to think that they should 'swerve' round it. The resurrection is central to the Christian faith and as such, should be the central part of the Easter story. I agree that it is difficult to teach in a way that small children will understand that Granddad etc. are not suddenly going to be there the next day or, possibly worse, that people will start crawling out of their graves, but it is possible and should be done. The way I would explain it is that Jesus chose to die and because His Father was God, He could also choose to live again and because of that, everyone who has died will live again and live forever but not until Jesus comes back to Earth again. You can add details to plump that out a bit but that's the basic concept.