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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to really dislike my soon to be MIL

68 replies

soontobemrs · 28/03/2012 13:49

Can't stand her, she miders about shite mainly work, she bores me to tears, never took to her to be honest! How do u put up with being midered?

OP posts:
startwig1982 · 28/03/2012 13:50

Midered?

LaurieFairyCake · 28/03/2012 13:50

'midered' Confused

what is that? is it like 'mithered'?

Original poster
soontobemrs · 28/03/2012 13:51

She's on the phone to OH for aggggggeeeeeessss chatting shit about work. Feel like shouting piss off

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 28/03/2012 13:51

(Mithered? Nagged?) She probably can't stand you either. Best admit it to each other up front rather than let it fester. Start as you mean to go on.

TroublesomeEx · 28/03/2012 13:51

I've no idea what 'midered' means either, but I'll just say "Welcome to the club!"

exexe · 28/03/2012 13:53

If thats your only complaint about her then you sound awful.

So what if she wants to complain about work?

I think people forget that mils are only human. They're not all there to make your life a misery.

Tee2072 · 28/03/2012 13:54

Hmm Biscuit

startwig1982 · 28/03/2012 13:54

That's nothing. Mine annoys me cos she's so bloody nice all the time!! Smile

Winkly · 28/03/2012 13:54

If her only flaw is chatting to her son on the phone you have it easy.

Go do something productive while they talk.

ohdearwhatdoidonow · 28/03/2012 13:54

Moidered is a northern take on mitheref.

TroublesomeEx · 28/03/2012 13:55

You have no right to even be on an MIL-bashing thread startwig. You need your own Lovely MIL thread. Go on, be off with you! Wink

Original poster
soontobemrs · 28/03/2012 13:56

Yes I mean nagged, n no tis not my only complaint, her house is filthy full of crap n she looks like she could do with a good bath! She's ghastly

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 28/03/2012 13:56

She's allowed to talk to her son - get the fuck on with your own life, she's not mithering you.

DuelingFanjo · 28/03/2012 13:57

lolo

exexe · 28/03/2012 13:58

Yet she managed to raise a son that you want to marry....

Original poster
soontobemrs · 28/03/2012 13:59

She keeps him talking at her house for ages as well. He even says he can't be arsed with being midered all the time

OP posts:
Nixea · 28/03/2012 14:00

Good grief! Will the cheek of MIL's never end. I mean honestly, fancy being brazen enough to actually talk to your own son! How very dare she...

startwig1982 · 28/03/2012 14:01

Does she live near you? If not then don't worry. If she does then just limit the amount of time you spend with her and look forward to her annoying you when you have dc...

seemedlikeagudideaatthetime · 28/03/2012 14:01

i think it's fine to dislike your MIL. Mine's a nice person and all but she drives me insane most of the time - I could perhaps handle her in small doses but for various reasons I have to see her pretty much everyday, and live with her influence. Sometimes we have 'flare ups' but I think we both accept that we're strapped together for lie now like it or lump it and keep things civil for the sake of a nice life.

I know what you mean about the phone thing, sometimes when DH and MIL have one thier unique conversations I start wanting to scream, it goes something like this:

DH: So I went to the...
MIL: Shop?
DH: ...no...the...er
MIL: Swimming baths.
DH: No, the...
MIL: Doctors!
DH: No, the...
MIL: Airport?
DH: No - the cinema
MIL: Ohhhh, right!
DH: Yeah we went to see that...
MIL: Woman in black?
DH: No...er....
MIL: The new pirates one?
DH: Er...no...er
MIL: The muppets?
DH: No...er...

ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH - why does he do that with her? just won't spit stuff out, and she insists on jumping in and slowing him down even more because he has to correct her! Thank GOD he doesn't speak to me like that!!!

igetcrazytoo · 28/03/2012 14:05

if you're going to dislike your Mil then it has to be for a proper reason and she should be at least reasonably evil (thats the mumsnet rule).

I'm not sure that even something like dropping fag ash all over a new baby is considered bad enough (true - but done by DM not mil).

Its also the law that Mils tend to think their sons are perfect and you should be grateful to be married to him. I know, it a crazy world

(Shrugs)

badtasteflump · 28/03/2012 14:06

Grin at cogito

How do you go about that then?

OP: "I can't stand you"

MIL: "I can't stand you either"

And they all lived happily ever after Smile

Original poster
soontobemrs · 28/03/2012 14:07

Her voice goes right through me! She's quite bossy towards OH, tells him how to have his hair cut etc. There's more but I'm not going into it, she appears to be a bossy cow n I just don't like the woman

OP posts:
badtasteflump · 28/03/2012 14:08

OP YANBU, btw - just because I love the new word you've taught me Smile

startwig1982 · 28/03/2012 14:08

Ha that made me chuckle seemed. Grin
My DH takes an age to say a sentence sometimes and mil just stops talking mid sentence so I don't have a clue what she's saying. Bonkers.

seemedlikeagudideaatthetime · 28/03/2012 14:09

Surely it's OK to dislike someone you didn't choose? I'd say being reasonably evil gives grounds for proper hatred. Dislike/annoyance is just a natural part of life when you're forced to spend a lot of time being around someone you would not normally pick as an associate.