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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to really dislike my soon to be MIL

68 replies

soontobemrs · 28/03/2012 13:49

Can't stand her, she miders about shite mainly work, she bores me to tears, never took to her to be honest! How do u put up with being midered?

OP posts:

Chattymummyhere · 28/03/2012 16:49

Dislike and hate all you want.

I banned MIL from my wedding shes a cow and my partner agreed, we should ban someone who seems to not really care about us. Yes you may only get one mother but it sure as hell dont mean you have to like them as your own mum let alone someone else's. Yes you may have lots ot partners but they are the people you pick to be near/with not forced to like MIL/DIL/SIL relationships.

RabidEchidna · 28/03/2012 17:21

God from my time on here I am dreading my sons getting married, as clearly I will be unwanted, banned from weddings, banned from visiting grandchildren,(unless of course I am free child care) everything I will have done raising my sons will have been wrong, I shall be branded toxic, any future DILs parents will of course be more important/better then I

Starts digging basement to chain sons up in so they never leave me

OP you sound childish, hopefully your DPs second wife will get on better with his mother then you seem to

exoticfruits · 28/03/2012 17:31

Why not actually get to know her? See her on your own. She probably feels the same-but as you are stuck with each other you may as well try and make it work. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Hoebag · 28/03/2012 17:32

you have it great if thats all it is

exoticfruits · 28/03/2012 18:00

I hope that you realise that and future DD may be the spitting image of MIL, or just like her in character-you do not get to choose out of the gene pool!

exoticfruits · 28/03/2012 18:01

sorry-any not and

DPrince · 28/03/2012 18:51

OP if it makes you feel any better you sound annoying yourself. They say men marry women like their Mum. Something to think about :)

exoticfruits · 28/03/2012 19:11

I think that is very true DPrince.

ifeelloved · 28/03/2012 19:24

From what you have said yabvu

I don't really have much in common with mil, however, she is my dh mum and my DDs gran, so I made an effort and she's lovely, she does drive me nuts at time but I'm sure I drive her nuts too.

Unless you mil is truly terrible (like some you read about on here) then I think you need to try harder, cos from what you've said so far, you sound like a nightmare.

Remember you will be a mil one day, how would you feel if your future sil/dil was like this with you?

TidyDancer · 28/03/2012 19:27

On the examples presented so far, YABU. Clash of personalities at the most. Given that you have been so nasty about her, I wouldn't be surprised if she was feeling the same way about you.

I think you need to be a bit more tolerant, and have a bit more respect.

exoticfruits · 28/03/2012 19:31

Are you sure that people actually like being with you? You don't appear to want to make any effort.

exoticfruits · 28/03/2012 19:33

I think that what goes around, comes around and those who make no effort with a MIL will most probably be cut off by a DIL in their time.

partridge · 28/03/2012 20:04

I hope so exotic. They deserve a bit of karma.

partridge · 28/03/2012 20:05

exotic even.

crje · 28/03/2012 20:42

Id dump your partner and marry an orphan.

Life is too short !!!!!!!!!!!

Libzmummy · 11/04/2012 18:39

oh dear before meeting my current partner of 5 years i had a lovely mil! and now my current mil is awful! so can see both sides of the story...absolutely cannot stand this one (cannot help but compare them), horrid unclean house, have night mares about my daughter crawling on her floor and putting hands into her mouth full of dirt, place stinks, has fleas, really, i do not know how she lives in such a state. never bothers to make any conversation with me so we just sit in silence! if i had it my way i'd never see her again, then again you cab't always get what you want and just have to get on with life...sob.

JingleMum · 11/04/2012 18:51

god, some women really don't like sharing their DP's/DH's do they??? get a grip you idiots. in the majority of cases no matter what you said or did would stop your DP/DH loving his mum and having her in his life so accept it, be nice, make an effort and get on with life, it's too short to hate someone for being annoying from time to time.

i understand that some MIL's don't like sharing their sons aswell so the same applies to them - get a grip!

if both women make an effort, know their place and be respectful of eachother their won't be a problem, you never know, you might even end up really good friends aswell as family.

exoticfruits · 11/04/2012 18:54

if both women make an effort, know their place and be respectful of eachother their won't be a problem, you never know, you might even end up really good friends aswell as family.

Exactly-which is why I think that what comes around goes around. DCs pick up attitudes and they will think it normal.

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