to really dislike my soon to be MIL

[soontobemrs]

Can't stand her, she miders about shite mainly work, she bores me to tears, never took to her to be honest! How do u put up with being midered?

But does he do as she tells him OP or just ignore?

If he lets her boss him around I'd be more concerned about him tbh.

Of course YABU. But I guess you know that. Most like and dislikes are irrational and so is this one. If what you mean is that you'd like her to fuck off out of your life and leave your parter alone, I suggest you emigrate. Or put up with her.

Has it yet been mentioned that men marry their Mothers? Tis true am afraid.

My MIL regularly sends smiles to her son over the skypes, kisses, flowers etc. She agrees with her son in almost everything even if he says black is white. She loves animals and cares for homeless cats and dogs yet she eats meat and does not mind wearing a fur coat. When she is visiting us she hardly cooks. Once in a blue moon she would cook an egg. When I asked her if she could cook something for kids because they seemed bored with my food she went almost hysterical. Is it not annoying? And that is not everything.

Dig deep and try to find something positive about her that you could like/appreciate, other than that try to be tolerant. Your DP may complain about her to you but she is his mother - nothing you can do about it, and he will not want you moaning about her too.

And other than that..

try being a bit more grown up about it, - you are sounding positively childish.

I'm with exexexe - she's the mother of someone you love, and presumably, despite her flaws, is responsible for some of his fabulousness...?

My MiL is well-meaning, but tactless, uneducated, borderline bigoted and completely unable to see, far less acknowledge, that other people/cultures/political persuasions might legitimately see the world differently to her determinedly blinkered view. We are chalk and cheese.

I get through by reminding myself endlessly that she raised my lovely, clever, funny, sensitive partner, so she has a lot going for her even when I can't see it.

OP this does not bode well for your future married life.

If you MIL is the devil then your stbH is the spawn of the devil.

I don't know why but I kind of feel sorry for him tbh.

I doubt she is thrilled to have you as a DiL to be honest.

My mother in law once said to me, 'I have always been and will always be his mother, whereas you have not and may not always be his wife'

I remembered that when some years later my husband and I divorced. :)

Whatever, OP sighs and feels very old.

Do you think that your feelings towards her might impact your life with her son?

Would you like to change the relationship?

MN increasingly worries me on this subject and I find myseld succumbing to a hope that both my boys will turn out to be gay. Then they might find partners who will tolerate me and maybe find my foibles endearing and tease me gently about them like his mates do atm, rather than making lemon-sucking faces and tsking at me

YABU. That's U for unpleasant rather than unreasonable. And if you are not, actually, deep inside, unpleasant, then change your tone.

just because some posters have problems with their mother in law doesn't mean they don't have genuine reasons to. If you are worried about becoming one then read some of the threads and then you can find out how not to be a MIL from hell.

Clearly this OP is taking the piss but some MILs (and IN-laws in general) ARE nightmarish.

So many people waste time and energy holding grudges and hating their mils.
Some deserve it as they're genuinely horrible but I don't think many do. They're only human and have flaws like everyone else.
They'll be blood related to any children you have.

I wouldn't particularly choose to have a relationship with mil if I met her of my own accord but she is my husband's mother so I treat her with respect and am friendly and nice to her. I expect the same from my dh for all members of my family. The kids love their grandparents and I think its nice that they have a good relationship.

Personally, I think life's much easier when you're nice rather than being horrible (which I think takes more effort)

You sound like a charmer yourself love. Look forward to seeing you all on Jeremy Kyle soon.

"How do you go about that then?"

...."MIL. I don't like you and you don't like me. But we're going to be related so it's best if we can at least appear civil. Deal?"

fanjo _ I don't think the OP is entirely taking the piss.

"Its also the law that Mils tend to think their sons are perfect and you should be grateful to be married to him. I know, it a crazy world."

First MIL: Why is a girl like you with someone like my son?

When I left him his parents told him it was probably all his fault

Current MIL: I know he doesn't think so but I do love my son.
Me: He knows.
Current MIL: Are you sure?
Me: He knows you love him. He loves you too.

This came from absolutely nowhere I swear. I had to bite my tongue to stop myself saying that perhaps she could be a little nicer to him.

like davsmum said!!!
you only get one mum.... how many partners have you had?

In life there will always be someone you will meet that you don't like. It's not that they're not a nice person, they are, but for some reason you (the royal you) won't like them. Sometimes they'll be related, either through blood or marriage. So long as you treat them politely and with respect and make an effort then that's fine, you never know if you do that then you may find you'll grow to like them.

My mil is evil personified, nobody ever gonna be good enough for her son. I bumped her car once trying to reverse out of her drive,she phoned the police and told them i had rammed her intentionally and that she thought i was trying to kill her (a crap driver does not a murderer make). She got a stern telling off from pc plod as there was only a tiny dent on her bumper. Her hate campaign got so bad that DH disowned her in the end. :(

I'd seriously reconsider marrying him if you can't stand her
Youll be spending Xmas, mothering Sunday, significant birthdays with her
It'll get worse x 100 if you have kids

Ooooh your MIL sounds positively angelic if that's all she does. You should have the one that I nearly got (took me over 2 years to sink in that she was a cow before I bolted!).

In a mad panic one night to go out, we were running late because I got stuck in traffic on the way to ExDPs house (when he still lived with parents). Got there and everyone else was out except and him and I. I jumped in the shower and he offered to iron a top for me.

His Parents got home and I could hear her shouting from where I was in the bathroom "How dare you iron a top for her, I never want to see you doing something like that again - it's her job to do the ironing, she's a woman"

The following day to showed me how to properly make a bed (in her house) while my Ex idly stood by watching. If I didn't make the bed, she made it. She would have died if he'd tried to make it himself.

I have married a man that does most of the housework and certainly better than I do it!!