would you "pay " for a place at a wedding ?

[BahrainB]

My cousin and his long term girlfriend are marrying at the Ritz in London in the summer and at Christmas asked us to save the date and for our boys to be involved . Most of her family live in Austraila
I booked flights from our home in Dubai and a extortionately inflated ( Olympics are on at the same time ) holiday let .
Today I recieved the official invite which along with Harrods wedding list details was a little printed note - I want to give an extrodinary day surrounded with all our beloved friends and family I am asking for the more fortunate amongst us to contribute £500 per couple so everyone can be here .
We promise exceptional wines and a lovely time . Ax

OMG - Am I livid .
I'm being asked to fund other guests travel ? or pay for our place at a wedding
that is really too OTT in my opinion .
I'm too embarrassed to discuss with my husband .
What would you do ?

Equally the bride could have said "Screw you, we'll save up and go and have a cheaper wedding in Australia instead."

Like a pp said I thought I'd seen it all before but this is on another level, even for mn. I'm

Great post. It really made me laugh - the sheer nerve of it! Go, don't pay and give them a Harrods keychain for their present - or even better 'A donation has been made in your honour to...' present.

I love this thread! I hope you'll tell us about the conversation at the reception. Marking my place for updates!

If it really is the PILs controlling the budget and dictating who they are prepared to pay for...then if I was the bride, I'd definitely be jetting off for a beach wedding in Oz and saying screw the whole thing.

My instinct tells me, though, no-one agrees to a wedding at the Ritz and gift list at Harrods unless that's what they really want!

This is great (in a OMG way)! No way would I pay, I'd also let my cousin know this is really rude too, especially given your expenses to get there in the first place!

Has your Aunt said anything about this request?

NO. I would have something 'come up' and cancel.

Just

Marking my place.

Woah this is INCREDIBLY unreasonable of them, a wedding day is about the hosts being generous to their guests and loved ones, witnessing a declaration of love and perhaps a nice meal for all, but sweet mother funking be-jezus this is outrageous!
If they think £500 is a donation sized sum then they should be jolly well paying for it them selves.
This is a tasteless thing to ask of anyone tell her to stick her ritz up her unreasonable arse

Not read all the replies, so just replying to the OP. I've never heard anything like it, how ridiculous!
So they want to get married at the Ritz but can't afford it so are making everybody else pay to attend their wedding to the tune of £500?!
How incredibly entitled and rude. I just wouldn't go. If they can't afford it, they should set their sights on something more in their price range!
They're in cuckoo land.

Blimey. YANBU.

Where's that piss gone?

Oh! Your cousin's taken it!

Even if you did have lots of spare money, and could afford to help... I cannot believe she chose this way of asking. It is outrageous and offensive.

She should have rung up and had a conversation and explained herself. I appreciate you're spending a lot to come, but if you could help, she would be grateful, etc. This would still be an outrageous request, but not an offensive one. To stick it in with your invitation, of all things, lordy that's rude.

I think I'd tell her that was out of line.

You could say in your reply ... after saying that you will all be delighted to attend ... that you think it is lovely that they want everyone to be there from far and wide but as you have your own flights to pay for you sadly don't feel able to contribute to the travel fund.

How's that ?! Debrett standard ?!

Polite but firm ?

How many people have been asked to donate, do you know?

now i've really seen it all.

if it was a Chinese wedding, i would pony up the requested donation - typically in the £20 bracket...

but this sort of thing doesn't fly in the UK - and £500 is obscene...

Stick it to em, OP. Do that asking for £500 from the fund thing for yourselves. I dares you.

Shamelessly bookmarking.

Yes, I thought the tradition here was wedding gifts not money. Sometimes due to circumstances people ask for money to help with the wedding or honeymoon instead of gifts.

But I've never seen both requested before. And a Harrods gift list too - And reception at the Ritz ! Blimey !

Maybe getting married in Australia would have been more thoughtful too if most of the family are over there - but they don't seem that strong on thoughtfulness !

Oh my god, that is the grabbiest thing I've ever heard! Surely the bride and groom will actually cancel the wedding and never show their faces to anyone they've ever met ever again when they wake up one morning soon and realise what it is they've asked?! They must have been high when they wrote the invites!

Is this a wind up? Hilarious if not! I'd also be embarrased to be related to him. A wedding at home and them paying for flights would have been better than this. Surely they could have gone without presents and asked people to contribute to flights instead - though even that would have been a bit grasping.

Brass Neck!