would you "pay " for a place at a wedding ?

[BahrainB]

My cousin and his long term girlfriend are marrying at the Ritz in London in the summer and at Christmas asked us to save the date and for our boys to be involved . Most of her family live in Austraila
I booked flights from our home in Dubai and a extortionately inflated ( Olympics are on at the same time ) holiday let .
Today I recieved the official invite which along with Harrods wedding list details was a little printed note - I want to give an extrodinary day surrounded with all our beloved friends and family I am asking for the more fortunate amongst us to contribute £500 per couple so everyone can be here .
We promise exceptional wines and a lovely time . Ax

OMG - Am I livid .
I'm being asked to fund other guests travel ? or pay for our place at a wedding
that is really too OTT in my opinion .
I'm too embarrassed to discuss with my husband .
What would you do ?

Mrs Terry Pratchett- you should novels. How do you get all that from the OP?

Overactive imagination

MrsTP could have a point there...

This is a top, TOP AIBU :)

This might be my favourite AIBU ever.

OP I live in London. Cancel your overpriced apartment, get your cousin to set up a webcam, then come round my house and we'll watch the chaos wedding online. I can only promise mediocre wine. But lots of it.

Crying with laughter here

Personally I'd fax over a list of my travel and hotel expenses and ask for a refund

I know! I know! Ask if you can have your sponsors logo sewn onto the back of her wedding gown!

What would I do.

Say No, and Don't Go. This is in apalling taste and manners. And smacks of a marriage that won't see a year out. So don't buy a pressie either!

OP YANBU obviously- I am wondering at what point the MIL and FIL will hear about this request. Fairly soon I'm guessing. And they will be horrified.

What was the groom thinking when he put those notes in with the invitations? He surely must have been involved. The two of them sound entitled and as rough as a badger's backside. What a way to treat guests who are spending so much already on the wedding.

My money is on the whole wedding being called off.

Best wedding dishasta thread?

mine - an uber pooooorsh do (my then,"old-family-money-dahlink" boyfriend. I think I was the token bit of rough) where "daddy had the garden re-landscaped so there was space for the marquees by the pool"...teeny, tiny, totally tipsy bride puked down her beautiful hand-embroidered-with-gold frock.

That was quite funny.

This Ritz one's going to be on the NEWS! When is the happy day?

I luff this AIBU....sorry Vi, but this wedding thread is looking even more promising than yours (although your actual do will be nicer and love-ier and generally more full of gatecrashing MNetters :) :) )

OP - you can all stay at my place in London, if we can come to the wedding with you...please?!

Btw, we had our wedding list at Harrods. And they were fab. At the risk of outing myself, this was back in the days when John Lewis insisted on delivering everything within 30 days, and Selfridges/Harvey Nicks would only accept donations to a 'wedding account' (ie money onto a card) rather than holding an actual itemised list.

Harrods helped us make a proper list, and had some surprisingly sharply priced 'normal' items in amongst all the expensive tat stuff. Not only that, but they willingingly delivered the items in about 20 separate batches, mostly to the random place abroad where DH and I spent a good chunk of our first few years together, without charging extra for any of it.

I will admit that we had massive over-consumption consumer guilt feelings when we spent our afternoon wandering around the store making a list of things we wanted....but I suspect we would have got that anywhere....

If the bride wants them there, why aren´t the couple paying-especially if the wedding isn´t costing them anything?

Sorry to hijack, but Vivi I searched for an update to your The Conversation thread and couldnt find it...dyring to know what happened?

I wonder though- if you were to pay the £500, would you get a better seat? Like at the the theatre. You'd be in the wedding party equivalent of the stalls or the Royal Box, perhaps. You might even get called up to perform an impromptu song with the bride.

All of the other meanies who won't fork out for the posh seats would be relegated to the ones by the loos and kitchen.

The Bogan Bride - brilliant

Working - it all worked out perfectly for Vivi - you must find the thread (do Advanced Search) - it will bring a tear to your eye.

Working it look how she snuck it in on the end of this thread

So... are the ILs calling the Ritz/Harrods shots because they're paying and want a naice wedding like that, or are the ILs paying for the Ritz/Harrods type of do that the bride and groom want?

I'd have a modicum of sympathy if the bride to be was so terrified of upsetting her ILs that she felt she couldn't ask them to scale it down and use the savings to pay for her own family to come over. Hence that she felt that organising a Live Aid 'Give us your fecking money!!!' style fundraiser was the only way to raise the air fares.

But if she wants the Ritz AND a whipround, I am withdrawing my sympathy and hoicking my bosom.

I will, however, chip in £5 for you to liveblog it from the ladies' powder rooms.

Sorry HD

Here 'tis, Working

The Conversation

I will, however, chip in £5 for you to liveblog it from the ladies' powder rooms.

Yeah - can you set up a justgiving page for that, OP? That's worth five pounds of my money all day long :)

YANBU. A wedding is where you provide the best hospitality you can for your guests who have made the effort to join you for the day.

I work near The Ritz, and can see the front doors from the office. I'll keep my camera on standby!

Best AIBU ever. I am desperate to go this wedding. Might see if I can get a job at The Ritz.

This is definitely the best wedding-related AIBU we've had this 'wedding season'. Better even than the one where everyone had to dress in gold.

The best wedding thread of all time might have been the 'Thriller dance' one though, I still laugh a bit thinking of that...

I'm stunned! I would put a note in with your acceptance card along the lines of "unfortunately our costs to attend are already over £4k (or whatever) so we are sure you will understand that we will be unable to make the extra contribution requested".

You'd think even if they decided you're one of the better off, that they would take into account your costs of getting to the wedding coming from overseas. Absolutely shocking!!

Yy Ephiny

The gold outfit was great too - wonder whether the OP went along with it...