would you "pay " for a place at a wedding ?

[BahrainB]

My cousin and his long term girlfriend are marrying at the Ritz in London in the summer and at Christmas asked us to save the date and for our boys to be involved . Most of her family live in Austraila
I booked flights from our home in Dubai and a extortionately inflated ( Olympics are on at the same time ) holiday let .
Today I recieved the official invite which along with Harrods wedding list details was a little printed note - I want to give an extrodinary day surrounded with all our beloved friends and family I am asking for the more fortunate amongst us to contribute £500 per couple so everyone can be here .
We promise exceptional wines and a lovely time . Ax

OMG - Am I livid .
I'm being asked to fund other guests travel ? or pay for our place at a wedding
that is really too OTT in my opinion .
I'm too embarrassed to discuss with my husband .
What would you do ?

Are the Aussie tellies a bit Muriels wedding? can I come? Sounds like t should be the do of the year!

**rellies not tellies. Stupid phone

If the brides family are they type of people that would put pressure on the bride and groom to fund their holiday to England, I can kind of see why the MIL might prefer not to have to see them.

It's not a clever ploy is it though. No-one comes out smelling of roses:

1. Bride's family - not very well off (which is fine if they are happy and proud about their financial status, but I'm guessing they don't want it broadcast to a bunch of "more fortunates" on the other side of the world)
2. Bride and Groom - greedy and grabbing (well that's the same thing really)
3. Aunt & Uncle - controlling and selfish

There is no reason why anyone would want to be seen in this light, surely. As ploys go it's a crap one.

As the threads progressed £500 seems like a bargain to this do, I'd pay !

Outraged - possible, yes. Though has the MIL ever met the bride's family if they're in Aus?

I don't know if anyone's mentioned this yet (I have tried to keep up with the thread, but it's moving too quickly), but I wonder if it's occurred to the MILTB that, having pushed her DS and his fiancee into a London based wedding and the bride and groom having to beg for money for the Aussie rellies to come over, they've got to have somewhere to stay.

Given it's during the Olympics, MILTB might well have a bunch of 'feral' Aussies turning up on her doorstep demanding hospitality

Awesome thead. Only thing I'm confused about is wording of the note - has the bride put it in but phrased it to look as though the groom wants to fly her family over as a lovely surprise?

Me too sita

Normally the bride's parents pay and sometimes the groom's parents contribute for something (my ILs did nothing but moan) - so actually what is wrong with the groom's parents paying. I personally think they are being pretty nice about it by coughing up even if they are loaded. Maybe they liked the girl and wanted the couple to have a special day ....... How does the fact that they are paying for what the couple want make them controlling? And having had a wedding with verging on feral relatives and a beautiful demonstration of the class divide, I can honestly say it is no fun for anyone ...... and I don't blame the ILs for thinking arghhh.

I would love to know what is going through the bride's head right now! But there is nothing in the OP's original post that said that the groom's parents had pushed them to book the Ritz. OP good luck! Can't you copy the FB photo to your profile for us to gawk at .... as I already have a mental image in mind ..... and it's probably worse than the reality. (Australian yob meets Shameless)

Fuck it I want to pay to to attend this wedding. Where else could you get a whole day and evenings entertainment of that calibre for £500?

It's got everything, in fact the producers of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding would probably jump at the chance to film it as long as the feral element are in evidence.

It might be kind to give the Ritz a "heads up" first. Shall I forward this thread to them?

Bahrain, what at you going to do about the note? Are you going to respond or just ignore it?

I would love to know how much a wedding at the Ritz during the Olympics is going to cost.

Correct Bahrain, you do sound like a snob . I've got an aussie relative who's quite poor. He's one of the most genuine people I've ever met, not a bad bone in his body.

I also think your husbands analysis has missed the point that originally the wedding was going to be in Australia so presumably she was ok with her family being there then. I reckon this was a misguided attempt to point out some nasty MIL behaviour.

You could auction tickets to this wedding op. or we could have a raffle.

How much do plane tickets from Australia to London cost in high summer? And how many do they need to buy for the family members? Surely that alone's going to be the price of a small wedding.

[visualises Blue Peter-style milk-bottle-top appeal totaliser with a wedding cake topper]

If the bride was so desparate to point out some nasty MiL behaviour, or have her family at her wedding, she could say no to the wedding at the Ritz. It's not beyond the realms of possibility to turn down an offer. My guess is that the bride cares more about the posh venue than she does about her family being there or what people think about her.i

Surely, the bride's immediate family are coming over? She wouldn't get married without them! This £500 must be for some of her mates or cousins. I'd be tempted to pay up just to see the inevitable pissed up fight at The Ritz!

Nasty MIL behaviour, yes because we all need to get married at the ritz, she could say no.

If MIL isn't willing to pay for the wedding the B&G want the they could always i dunno pay for it themselves

Basic price/ppn is £210 (I was actually expecting more) so £21000 based on 100 guests, just for the canapes, 3 course meal and 1/2 bottle of wine each.

I imagine that is the entry level published price though.

What a shame that you have already booked your flights!

Height of rudeness....bad enough asking for money, but then to state how much they want is just deplorable

Flights from Australia in Olympic season: ~AU$2,400 pp. (£1,600 pp) So they'd need at least 3 couples to stump up the £500 for one person to come from Australia on someone else's money.