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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that parents that let their ds pull their pants down and pee in the street are just training them to pee anywhere they want when their older

132 replies

misspedantic · 27/03/2012 21:53

I get really annoyed by parents that let their ds piss anywhere they want as soon as they need the loo. I once spotted someone letting their son pee up a tree in the communal gardens to my flat. I thought you would kill him if he was caught doing that when he's older and drunk. So why train him to do it now.

AIBU

OP posts:

TheBigJessie · 28/03/2012 10:05

ragged "
It's funny OP mentions carrying a potty around because (donning flameproof suit now) I find the idea of carrying a potty around truly truly minging. If they aren't able to hold it in until a toilet would usually be accessed (2-5 minutes delay) then they aren't ready at all, imho. That said, I'm the sort of person who is often located more than 10 minutes from toilets.

I wonder if that's why people sometimes gave me funny looks for having potties. Well, actually my boys generally can wait to get to a toilet so far, but they were too small to be able to sit on a big adult toilet without a toilet insert. At least they thought so; they were terrified of falling in.

So I took potties along everywhere, and took children plus potties into public toilets when necessary.

SigmundFraude · 28/03/2012 10:09

I actively encourage my DS's to piss literally everywhere. That way I don't have to remove my arse from the sofa and take my youngest upstairs to the loo. It has it's drawbacks when DS pisses in the sandwich section in M&S, but obviously I don't worry too much, because they're in training to piss wherever they like as adults.

I like whatmeworry's suggestion to give them a can of lager whilst they're doing it, I hadn't thought of that.

Btw. The OP is sexist.

aquashiv · 28/03/2012 10:17

You never have wild wee - you need to live a little op.
Seriously does it matter really a childs needing a wee is not a sight that really registers with me. I am sure the parent would rather a toilet be used but needs must far more things to worry about.

iscream · 28/03/2012 11:21

It's surprising for me to read how many people think this is ok. I do not know anyone who has ever allowed a child to urinate in public.
If I do, they have never mentioned it nor have I witnessed it happen, even with strangers. But maybe it is pure luck that I/we haven't had a child so desperate to go that they couldn't wait.

Lueji · 28/03/2012 11:30

How could they after you invited them into your home for the little boy to pee in a proper toilet?

Oh, hang on...

Dappleton, for some odd reason my DS (now 7) can't do it in the sea. He has to get his willy out and pee into the water.

I know...
I just hope a MNer never witnesses it.

OrmIrian · 28/03/2012 11:33

i think that generally small children get away with a lot of things that grown ups can't. I'd prefer it if parents encouraged children to pee out of sight of everyone else if at all possible but peeing in public is just a neccesity sometimes.

OrmIrian · 28/03/2012 11:35

Re carrying a potty everywhere, I once ran in to a mum in the toddlers playground who carried a potty. She was potty training her son. he needed a wee so she made him use the potty and then emptied it on the floor. What was the point of that? Can anyone explain it to me please?

DinahMoHum · 28/03/2012 11:40

animals piss everywhere. theres nothing especially more disgusting about child wee. Its just wee.

As long as theyre not shitting up a tree, i dont see the problem

DowagersHump · 28/03/2012 11:40

DS weed in the street twice on the way home from school because he was nervous of going for a wee when he first started in reception. He hated doing it and was in tears but that's better than wetting himself.

He doesn't do it any more but I really don't think it's a massive deal. People let their dogs piss against my garden wall

Chattymummyhere · 28/03/2012 11:42

Only once had my son wee'd outside and even then we used a potty for it and then threw the wee into the bushes, he was scared of adult toilet beign so big and we was out in the countryside so when there was toilets they where not for children..

I would not let my child just pee in the middle of the street if they need to go that badly there is always fields or discreat places around.

Original poster

misspedantic · 28/03/2012 11:42

are people really comparing their dc to dogs? seriously!!!

OP posts:

5madthings · 28/03/2012 11:42

re getting them to wee before you go out, some children will do this others will not. my ds1 was very good and i could take him for a 'wee check' and he would alway squeeze out a little dribble, but ds4 NO chance, if he does not need a wee he does not need one, but when he DOES need to go, he REALLY needs to go, hence him pissing in the school playground the other day as i mentioned in the thread earlier

MrsHoarder · 28/03/2012 11:43

Orm did she not even carry it over to the bushes or something??

OrmIrian · 28/03/2012 11:58

Nope. And even if she had it does seem pointless. Little boys are equipped with the perfect instrument for alfresco peeing

5madthings · 28/03/2012 12:01

yes it would be pointless to get them to wee in a potty and then tip it out, why not just get them to wee in a bush! which incidentally is what i WOULD have got ds4 to do had he told me he needed a wee! but no he just pulled his trousers and pants down to his ankles and stood there bold as brass and peed all over the grass, tbf there wasnt much grass it was rather dry and patchy, but that meant i could kick the dirt over the wee! i only turned my back for a few seconds and then when i turned back he was merrily weeing without a care in the world, he is a lovely child, honestly

Original poster

misspedantic · 28/03/2012 12:09

I'm not talking about peeing in a bush if you're caught short in the park but peeing in broad view of everyone around you, in the middle of a street with no shame. I just find it weird that people think that's ok. And I not being sexiest because I don't see many young girls peeing into drains on my local highstreet but have seen loads of boys doing it. I'm just wondering if this is teaching young boys that it's ok to pee in the street or anywhere they want.

OP posts:

DowagersHump · 28/03/2012 12:12

Emptying a potty over the playground is grim.

5madthings · 28/03/2012 12:12

well mine when little will do it in full view if thats all that is available, they have peed in drains etc and i imagine i will do the same with dd when potty training, with girls you just have to lift them in a sitting position under their knees, or that is what my friends with girls do, so i shall be following suit, may take some practise having only dealt witth the 4 boys so far!

and no i dont think it teaches them to pee in the street, my 7, 9 and 12 yr olds wouldnt pee in the street now just because they did as toddlers.

DowagersHump · 28/03/2012 12:13

Wow misspedantic - you think small children should be ashamed of needing a wee really badly? Just wow.

Original poster

misspedantic · 28/03/2012 12:22

no Dowagers I used to carry a potty with a lid when she was in a push chair and now if she needs the loo we use a coffee shop or a pub or anywhere else there is a toilet... it's not rocket science.

OP posts:

5madthings · 28/03/2012 12:27

i hope that when you use the toilet at a coffee shop or a pub you then BUY something from them, a drink, snack whatever as they are NOT public toilets they are there for the use of customers, most i have found will let a toddler/young child use their toilets happily, but i always buy something or leave some change as their toilets are not public and therefor i think its rather rude to just expect to use the toilet for free.

5madthings · 28/03/2012 12:28

and there arent always coffee shops/pubs anyway, there are plenty of places at parks where there often arent public toilets or when out when there are non, our walk to school does not involve going past any pubs or cafes, most of it is across a field and so if caught short, my 4 yr old will wee against a tree [shrug] its that or wet pants, i know which one is easier to deal with.

DowagersHump · 28/03/2012 12:29

No it's not rocket science - but it's a bit silly to assume there is always a cafe or pub as an option.

I would imagine most parents (and children) would prefer to use a toilet if there's one available but sometimes, particularly when children haven't been toilet-trained long, they forget/get distracted/are not always brilliant at telling they need a wee until they really are about to burst.

Would you prefer children wet themselves?

VonHerrBurton · 28/03/2012 12:36

Potty with a lid. Boak. That's truly horrible. Piss swishing about til you get home or to a suitable 'emptying place'.

When I was potty training my boys, I would be thrilled if they managed to tell me before pissing all over themselves and I wouldn't care a jot if you and similarly minded people thought seeing a 3 year old boy doing a wee somewhere as discreet as possible was offensive - be it behind a tree or down a side passage in a shopping area.

YABU - that was what you asked, after all.

FunnysInLaJardin · 28/03/2012 12:42

little boys wee is fine, it's mainly water. Dogs wee on the other hand is bleurgh.

TBH OP I rarely see any children doing this. Perhaps you just live in a particularly rough area?

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