to have debts on a credit card that is my own credit card

[tinkhassprung]

hi

i have debts on a credit card that is mine
dont see why i should tell dh

he knows i have a very account
have sorted out child account yes know was silly paid off now

Could you find part time work? You'd need to bear in mind that anything you earn will effect your WTC payments and other benefits so you'd need to do a better off calculation before taking on work, but normally it would leave you better off, even if you do loose a bit of benefits.

It might help your self esteem as well if you are working, knowing you are bringing your money into the house, it sounds as if you feel because your DH earns the money, you don't want to ask him to pay your bills.
A part time job would get you away from shopping and you might be able to pay your debts quicker?

only get £10 awk

If you only get £ 10 per week then your dh surely should be made aware so he can help pay the debt too?

it is my debt his money is tied to the bills etc

You only get £10 a week? In that case DH needs to pay for presents and clothes. The £10 a week should be for coffees, cakes and little frivolities that I am sure DH gets with his own wages. Plus if that is all you are entitled to, you're either not claiming all your entitled to or DH earns a decent amount.

If he is still struggling with debts etc. you need help. CAB do a free debt management service.

You need to try and find work for your own self worth if nothing else. When you said benefits I was assuming you had a similar set up to me, with CTC, CB and I get wages too.

It worries me that you seem to somehow believe he was justified in hitting you. I don't care whether you boiled his pet bunny, violence is never acceptable.

Um who does get the CB for your dd? . Why are you not getting that?

Tink there is no such thing as 'hitting gently'. Your husband is a violent abuser and you'd be better off single.

I'm shite with money, always have been. Dh manages our finances and we keep things seperate buried never be frightened to tell him about a debt, or feel I need to keep anything from him... That is not what normal happy healthy marriage is about.

you can't hit someone gently - hitting is NOT gentle ffs - it's violent.

Oh I've just seen a this has been said x1,000,000 on several other threads.

Yawny mcyawnerson

I'm out.

Not sure about this thread, there are a few from the same poster along similar lines.

OP if he gets a credit check from Experian etc then it may show up (DPs cards show up when I got a check a few months ago), or worse if you have to go into joint credit for something and it gets knocked back because of your record if you have missed payments previously (or like the Very debacle for instance) or if you continually miss payments a 'suspicious looking' letter will arrive that he may open and find out its a demand for payment, or worse if you ignore them (which I fear you might) then a burly bailiff will turn up and he'll find out then and you will get more than a gentle slap

I know your relationship problems run alot deeper than this, but if you really feel you cant tell him then make sure you keep the payments up to minimise the chance of him finding out. And re-think your relationship perhaps.

the benefit is supposed to go into the general household expenses.
i can't dictate what they use it on, but as it's going into the op's account directly, it sounds like her only income.

had her DP not hit her, i would be encouraging her to put it into the general pot.

ignoring the hitting, all their money would be better going into the joint account, the OP paying off her debts monthly, as much as they can afford and her stopping spending.
It does sound like she's got a spending problem, there's really no need to go into debt if there's a regular income (emergencies notwithstanding)

D0oinMeCleanin Credit ratings do NOT go by address at all. Whoever has told you that is very, very wrong.

Well mine did. As I said I couldn't get Virgin TC coz the previous tennant owed them money. I couldn't get past Sky TVs credit check despite having no outstanding debts and I couldn't get Vodafone in my name because the previous tennant owed them money.

It took months to get her name off of my credit file which was linked via the address.

Sweetheart, these multiple threads are quite worrying.

Your husband hit you. He smacked you across the face because you disobeyed him.

That isn't normal behaviour.

The fact that you won't tell him makes me worry about you.

Please phone Women's Aid.

Sweetheart, these multiple threads are quite worrying.

Your husband hit you. He smacked you across the face because you disobeyed him.

That isn't normal behaviour.

The fact that you won't tell him makes me worry about you.

Please phone Women's Aid.

Please listen to the advice you are being given tink. Your issues go a very great deal deeper than the simple question you have posed on this particular thread. I'm not going to repeat what I have said elsewhere (not least because you really don't seem prepared to listen) but you need to tackle your husband's reactions as well as your own inability to stop spending. There is help out there. Please take it.

yep you have to tell him - if he is a loving man who will want to do the right thing. if you lie to him you will have built a relationship on lies and dishonesty. If you really love him, you need to sit down and own up and then work out how you can alter your spending habbits and pay off all debts. If he is physical or abusive - then leave him.

StrandedBear - I'm 99.99% certain that tink is a long term MNer under a name change. Really.

do you get CB too?

if you only get 10 pounds a week then you need to ask for more money to live on or earn more money to live on.

Sweetheart, I've posted on the other thread but I don't think running two threads without putting all the relevant information on one won't get you the advice you really need.

Your husband hit you across the face because you did something you didn't like.

That's not normal and good, non-abusive men don't hit their partners during a fight.

That is the definition of domestic violence.