to feel upset and defeated and not know what to do next?

[extremepie]

Ok, bit of a long one but here is the short(ish) version:

My DS1 was 5 in Feb, and is not in school. He was offered a school place at a school just under 2 miles from our house, despite there being 9 schools closer to us, one of them being just 500m from us.

We cannot send him to the school he has been offered.

He is currently attending the same pre-school as his brother who has just turned 4 but will not be able to return after easter as he is too old, meaning that after easter he will have no pre-school or school place and will just be sitting at home with us until a place at the closer school comes up (he is currently on the waiting list)

DS2 has autism so we have a TeamAroundFamily thing set up with social services to try and help us get them both into school (amongst other things) and they have assisted me in appealing for the closer school under rule 2 - special social or medical needs. We sent them a whole bunch of reports from our paediatrician, speech therapist, SENCO, just about everyone officially connected to our family, outlining our needs as a family for both DS's to attend this particular school. I also wrote a letter myself.

Got a letter yesterday saying that they had considered our information and decided that it doesn't sufficiently prove that the particular school we want fulfills our needs.

This basically now means that DS1 has no school place and will not get one in the forseeable future unless by some miracle enough children leave the school for him to be offered a place.

I don't know what to do now. I have honestly done everything I can think of and none of it is working. Want to bash my head against a brick wall!!

Any ideas? Help!

OP, I understand how tricky this situation is and some posters have been very unfair on you.

My DS1 has autism and global developmental delay. He attends a special school and has transport but for a term last year there was transport problems and I had to walk him to drop my DS2 off at his school. It was sodding impossible, DS1 refused to walk, ran into traffic, had massive tantrums etc etc. For three months, life was hell. So, please can some posters just have a little more empathy because it is much more complicated than "well, your OH will just have to walk the two miles then".

Also, the OP will not automatically get a motability can when she can drive , the system is complicated and I get really annoyed when people assume that people with a disability get the world handed to them on a silver platter. They don't. Most have to fight for every tiny bit of support they get.

Thirdly, good luck with your course, you are doing something positive for you and your family's future.

The situation is rubbish but your DS1 does need an education. You have been offered some good advice that here, look into the transport option. My neice's school is just less than two miles but due to complicated circumstances she gets a subsidised bus to school. If not, buggy boards etc can be okay as a short term thing as your sons's education is priority just now.

WRT a SN buggy, get in touch with the family fund, I know families who've had help from them before and they are very good, quite quick at processing claims too.

Get your DS2 statemented ASAP, I got my DS1's statement in place aged 2 because I put up one hell of a fight. Do you have a local parent partnership board? They work like an advocacy service and were instrumental in getting my son's statement sorted.

Good luck with everything, it can be stressful, disheartening and downright infuriating sometimes, I know.

OP- if you are going to home school. You need help, it can't be a bit here and a bit there, when dh gets time from ds 2.
What confuses is me is your making assumptions (like ds1 will be subject to the sibling rule) but don't actually know. You can'( 'cross that bridge' when it happens. Fine out if an older sibling is subject to it. DS1 has already missed the first half of the year, you need to make sure he is not behind. You need a proper plan. It seems that distance is the only reason. But you need a plan for home. Ds1 can't miss out in education..

YANBU.

To the posters that say four miles is not far for a child to walk, a child who is at school all day, I suspect you don't all know exactly how far two miles is. It will take most adults 40 minutes to walk that distance, and longer for a tired five year old.

In Amsterdam a parent pedalling a bike with two children in a trailer in front of behind is seen all the time. I can't see the problem with your DH cycling- unless A roads are the only option.

Cycling or HE are both good options- I can't see the problem. If your DH was disabled or you were a single parent you wouldn't have these options. At least you do have options.

In Holland and Belgium (to a lesser extent), the road system is set up for bikes - an extensive system of safe cycling lanes. You just don't get that in the UK.

There is so much criticism of parents using cars to do the school run, but much of the time they have no choice because of the distance to the school.

I'm so glad not to live in the UK.

I really feel for you, but I think you only really have two options.

1. Send him to the school further away, keep on the waiting list for the school you want, and keep hassling them.

2. Keep him at home, stay on the waiting list and keep hassling them.

Unfortunately, your reasons for appeal aren't sufficient. And I do feel for you, because it is a terrible pain, but the local authority wont allocate you a school place based on logistics / conveneince.

If I were you, I would keep ringing up the school, find out where you are on the waiting list and perhaps write a letter to the Headteacher outlining your case again. It helps to keep this in the front of their minds, so that if a school place does come up, you are someone they remember.

"... I really don't care what you think because I know that is the best option for us in the long term ..."

Seems little point in you asking for opinions on a website then.

You have also dismissed most of the suggestions on here as well.

The schools and LA have considered your applications, arguments and appeals and have all decided against you.

You have reached the end of the road.