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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want the nanny to cook real fish not fish fingers

249 replies

PumpUpTheJam · 22/03/2012 17:50

Nanny to 18 mo DD says she does not like the smell of fish and will only make fish fingers. I think that on a full salary and with just one kid to look after she can occasionally force herself to do this! Any strong opinions?

OP posts:
Bonsoir · 23/03/2012 09:56

I'm not after a fight. But I get cross when people claim that all children need is love.

BigBoobiedBertha · 23/03/2012 10:11

Where has the OP gone? I am still waiting to find out what is wrong with fish fingers?!

DowagersHump · 23/03/2012 10:19

No one said that was all they need Bonsoir. Just that it's the most important feature. And I feel sorry for your DC if you think regular fish on the menu is more critical to their well-being

DamnBamboo · 23/03/2012 10:22

Why, for the purposes of this thread, can't she call her a nanny?

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 23/03/2012 10:28

DamnBamboo I think its the 'THE' part of the title people object too instead of my nanny or my childrens nanny, the use of 'THE' implies possesion

DamnBamboo · 23/03/2012 10:29

Oh right.
That's all I have to say on the matter.
I love fishfingers FWIW.

Portofino · 23/03/2012 10:39

Me too - in a Sandwich with salad cream on!

I was thinking that the person I employ to clean in my house has HIGHER standards than me!

wordfactory · 23/03/2012 10:53

Hmmm. I've never had a nanny.
However, if I did and she hated cooking fish, I don't think I'd pursue it as fish needs to be cooked well and someone who hates it would be unlikely to achieve that.

Providing I felt the other meals she did cook were tasty and nutritious, I'd probably ask her not to attempt fish (and consquently put my DC off it!).

Whatmeworry · 23/03/2012 12:15

I'm not after a fight. But I get cross when people claim that all children need is love.

Exactly. All they need is Fish :o

MrsBeakman · 23/03/2012 12:28

If someone is going to get rid of a nanny just because of one petty detail they can't really be thinking of the DC'S needs. The DC needs continuity more than fish-which the mother can cook on the nanny's day off.
Yep. Totally agree with that.

Flatbread · 23/03/2012 12:35

But why can't the nanny cook fish? Why is all so drastic as she would leave if she had to bung some fish in the oven?

I am vegetarian and don't eat fish and don't like the smell. But even I can cook a perfect salmon in 10 minutes on a cast iron pan while doing other stuff.

All sounds ott and a bit precious. Just cook the damn fish and get on with life. It is not such a big deal.

motherinferior · 23/03/2012 12:43

WTF is the problem with fish fingers? (Apart from the fact that, as Nigel Slater points out, 'most people think they are rather common' Grin)

Pollock fish fingers are made with sustainable white fish. The Birds Eye salmon ones are made with sustainable salmon. They are a crunchy feast of fishy deliciousness. With breadcrumbs. What's not to like?

Hopandaskip · 23/03/2012 15:03

I don't have a problem in a thread like this identifying the person who performs nanny duties as "the nanny".

I have had bosses who have told me to do complete idiocy and some who have tried to take complete advantage of me. I told them that it wasn't reasonable/safe/advisable and if it was something they required I would give my notice in so they could hire someone else. Just because someone pays me does not make me their beck and call girl. I would do anything that reasonably comes under my job description and then a little bit more for goodwill, but one really terribly boss that walked all over me taught me to have a bit more of a backbone.

I never got fired and most of my families cried when I had to leave. I think the fact that they have stayed friends for 18 years or more after I left shows how much they appreciated me.

Bonsoir · 23/03/2012 15:06

I don't understand the issue with "the nanny" either. I think "my nanny" is much less palatable than "the nanny".

TheBigJessie · 23/03/2012 15:12

What about "the/my Lady Who Does [the childcare in this case]"

DoubleGlazing · 23/03/2012 16:13

YANBU. Everyone has parts of their job they don't like - why should this be any different?

MrsSchadenfreude · 23/03/2012 18:55

I sacked a nanny for (among numerous other misdemeanours) microwaving fishfingers because she was too lazy to grill them. She also used to feed the DDs cold stew because she couldn't be bothered to heat it up.

DilysPrice · 23/03/2012 19:04

Oh dear heavens Mrs S - the " other misdemeanors" were definitely superfluous.

Hopandaskip · 23/03/2012 20:26

look, I'm playing draw something with one of my former charges who is at uni. She can guess my clearly crap drawings. She must be bloody brilliant and so eating tuna salad and fish fingers apparently has not completely robbed her of all her mental acuities.

Next we are going to hear "Oh dear, my MIL refuses to feed PFB caviar on a golden spoon! Think we should cut her out of our lives??"

exoticfruits · 24/03/2012 07:03

I think that you would be my sort of nanny Hopandaskip. You sound straight forward and reasonable.

choceyes · 24/03/2012 07:23

depends if the nanny is cooking all of your DCs meals.

I wouldn't be happy with fishfingers as a replacement for fresh fish all the time. If you could cook fish on her days off then it is fine for her to just give fish fingers the other times IMO. i think only 2 portions of fish (oily) are needed a week so it's not like i's difficult to feed your DC fish when you are around.

Fish fingers is not the same as fish IMO. most of the fish finger is covered with breadcrumbs - nothing bad with breadcrumbs, but it's not fish is it?

bochead · 24/03/2012 10:11

Does she know how to cook fish well? Undercooked there is a very real risk of food poisoning for an 18 month old. Not "liking" foods is strongly linked with not knowing how to prep them my extended adult multi-racial family has taught me.

Adults are naturally wary of stuff that doesn't form part of their own "normal" cuisine. Could you teach her? This isn't a personal criticism of the nanny. I'm a great cook unless it involves anything deep fried cos the fryer scares me - someone having the kindly patience to show me how to do it safely would prob help me overcome my reluctance. As it is I've used all sorts of excuses to avoid the deep fat fryer over the years.

My own ds adored tinned sardine and fresh spinach sarnies at 18 months. (Make sure you buy the bone-in ones for the full benefit of the calcium). He still has them for lunch/after school snack twice a week. (This was on the advice of a clinical dietician so not just moi/his Gran/nursery being lazy [wnk]) Just wondering if this is an option for you? No danger of food poisoning cos she can't cook em right.

Otherwise unless your child is gluten-free I don't see an issue with fish fingers a couple of times a week, so long as once is salmon and they are good quality ones. You can cook fish for Friday night supper and at the weekend to get a bit extra into your child. Vegepa and Equizen are also good supplement brands.

DoubleGlazing · 24/03/2012 12:33

It's very easy to steam fish in the microwave. Just put piece of fish in bowl with a little milk or water, cover and microwave.

Whatmeworry · 24/03/2012 12:36

Are the kids eating fish every day? Very unlikely, probably once a week tops (assuming they even like fish) in which case OP can cook it on nanny's day off.

Sorted.

Bonsoir · 24/03/2012 14:30

I think nannies are like everyone else and will find that in the current economic climate their whimsies and foibles will be less easily catered to by their employers Smile