To want the nanny to cook real fish not fish fingers

[PumpUpTheJam]

Nanny to 18 mo DD says she does not like the smell of fish and will only make fish fingers. I think that on a full salary and with just one kid to look after she can occasionally force herself to do this! Any strong opinions?

I think that people are still desperate for childcare-no one is going to turn down a good nanny because she won't cook fish!

What I fear is that the current economic climate will lead to employers and employees lurching into poor quality cut-price live in arrangements in which the "nanny" gets exploited because if she loses her job she'll be out on the street, and/or the children get very poor quality care.

Fishy nappies are hideous

Bonsoir I actually agree with you a bit but really, I wouldn't want to lose a good nanny over this. I happily prep most food, but cannot abide kidney. You have to core them ffs . If the nanny's aversion to fish is as strong as mine to kidney, I'd cut some slack.

Otoh when I was an au pair I had to handle all sorts of horrors, raw liver being particularly memorable. I was a teenage vegetarian. It utterly repulsed me. But it was my job, so I got on with it (albeit with the melodramatic covering of my face with a napkin )

I'm neither a paid carer of children nor a vegetarian these days btw.

Umm, the nappy reference was a bit random, sorry. Am v.tired. ds ate tons of fish, despite my revulsion at the inevitable consequences.

Op if you're that bothered why not look after the children yourself?

@ cocky

This thread was started by an intern at Young's, wasn't it?

Or Findus.

This thread is positively weird. I don't think I've ever cooked my DCs fresh fish in my life. I've never cooked it for myself either. Some people like it and eat a lot of it. Some people don't. It need not be a core part of anyone's diet - unless you are an otter. Are you?

Maybe nanny should try crispy pancakes instead

Can you get Findus crispy pancakes with a fishy filling?

I'm an otter by the way.

YABU. My mother and one of my DDs would actually throw up if they had to cook fish, and they can't eat it either. It's not fair to ask someone to do this. The money is neither here nor there. My mother turned out to have an allergy.

'If someone is going to get rid of a nanny just because of one petty detail they can't really be thinking of the DC'S needs. The DC needs continuity more than fish-which the mother can cook on the nanny's day off.' And I agree with this too.

'I think that on a full salary and with just one kid to look after..' -- who exactly is doing a favour here, and for whom, in your mind, OP?

I can't think why anyone would want to force another human being to do something they find so deeply unpleasant that they feel physically sick, let alone someone I trusted to look after my children.

The only reason for this petty demand seems to be to satisfy your middle class food snobbery (as others have pointed out, good quality frozen fish fingers have the same nutritional value as 'fresh' fish)

You pay the woman yes , but that doesn't give you the right to act like a particularly malevolent Victorian Mill owner and ride roughshod over her feelings.

My husband

WTF! DITCH THE [email protected]

What kind of Nanny will deny a child fish just because she doesn't like to cook it. The Nanny is called the Nanny FYI because she is the person being referred to here. People do say The teacher, the cleaner, the P.A. etc, the Doctor, the Dentist, the Nurse. Very petty to complain about referring to her as "The Nanny" Should have called her Jane or Sarah!!! Because the whole Mumsnet community know her on first name basis right! Not!). I am an employer of nannies and simply put, what I need is what I pay for. I guess this is a lesson for when recruiting. However, I have never put in my ads "must have no aversion to fish or changing smelly nappies (that's a little smelly too)!! ;-). I would NEVER employ anyone who is so precious. If she said she was not good at cooking it that is acceptable but not that she doesn't like the smell. Then she should have chosen another job. Your aim is to make your employer's life easier and if your employer wants to feed her children fish regularly or not then as a nanny you should be absolutely willing to accommodate and be helpful! Period....Phew!!

A bit off topic but I don't think fish fingers are the same as fresh fish at all. Even if they're essentially the same ingredients, you're still teaching the child that food comes frozen in boxes in rectangular form adn the same colour as crap stuff like onion rings and chips etc. If my DS was to have fish i'd cook him fresh!

I have grown to like fish fingers, having not been allowed them because they 'weren't real fish' when I was little. But my children won;t eat the breadcrumbs or batter - they pick it off and only eat the fish. So I only buy fish now. Except for DH who loves a fish finger sarnie. White bread. Ketchup.

I don't have a nanny but I would want one to cook what I wanted my children to eat. She's being paid to look after them as I would wish. In fact just called a friend who is a nanny and she thinks the same. Says your nanny should "stop fussing and cook the sodding fish".

Really nofood? You take him through the provenance of every meal he eats?
Do you bake your own beans? Catch your own tuna? Kill your own cows?

FWIW I have baked my own beans before (misnomer as they are done in my slow cooker!) and I have a lovely recipe if anyone is interested :)

well considering my user name is no food with a face, i most certainly do not kill my own cows or catch tuna bogey! I don't grow my own veg but I think if there is a choice of giving a toddler fish that looks like fish, or fish thats been made into a rectangular block and coated in breadcrumbs it's quite obvious which i'd give!
obviously some things are unavoidable but in this situation i wouldnt give fish fingers!

My friend is pescatarian (sp?) so I often assume that of all non meat eaters, sorry!

But fish doesnt look like fish does it? In the same way that beef doesnt look like cows! Do you never eat veggie burgers? Or Quorn bolognase? You are taking something that isnt what it looks like, which is something that doesnt look like what it is!

Seriously though, bake your own beans! They kick Heinz ass :o

There's nothing wrong with fish fingers. They are as close to real fish as a fillet is, merely with the addition of breadcrumbs. Hardly dangerous or lacking in nutrition.

And when you buy 'fresh' fish, rather a lot of it has actually been frozen immediately after being caught and prepared out at sea.

Your fresh fish fillet is merely a large naked fishfinger.

@Bonsoir. I live in France and have a nounou and almost all my friends have nonous and... what are you talking about ? I've never heard of a nounou not choosing what she cooks. I can expect it to be healthy and to be kept informed about what it was, but I would never dream of dictating for example how many times a week fish should be served. (What if the other little boy was allergic ?)

Are you talking about the 0.1% of the French population who live in the 16th and have a live-in nanny ?

i think the problem is, that when you work and use childcare , and i do so I can say this, you get really het up over things you THINKyou would never, ever do. It is like before you have children and say 'i will never XXXXXXXXXXXXX', only to find yourself doing the same thing. I think in reality, if you were home all the time, you may well give dc fishfingers, but not worry about it, it is because someone else is doing it that is really the problem.

I am a teacher, so have time when cm looks after the dc most of the time and time when its me ( during the hols) , I did worry about cm using telly too much on wet days, then I thought back on my wet days in the hols and realised i did the same.

This probably doesnt make much sense, but I do think it is working mother guilt, trying to make sure you are realy being a good mum.