To want the nanny to cook real fish not fish fingers

[PumpUpTheJam]

Nanny to 18 mo DD says she does not like the smell of fish and will only make fish fingers. I think that on a full salary and with just one kid to look after she can occasionally force herself to do this! Any strong opinions?

That's just silly. When my DD was 18 months old, she didn't like a lot of our family meals and we didn't like a lot of her preferences. Sometimes we all ate together (gnocchi in tomato sauce/pasta with bolognese sauce), sometimes we ate very different food indeed.

The reason that I would never be a nanny Bonsoir-I would want to be the one telling the parent! (especially when you can be working for some pretty loony parents!)

Anyway-if I had a real phobia I would mention it at the interview.

(I could live on fish so that one really isn't a problem but I can imagine it might be.)

Different people do it differently-we just had family meals-I am not a restaurant doing choices. There is one choice-take it or leave it!

Well, I agree that if you want to boss families about, it would be better not to attempt to find employment as a nanny .

Yes, not a wise career choice!

You could become super nanny though, and boss people around. Or Mary Poppins style

Maybe, exoticfruits, but you would not get any money for that. An employer is within her rights to expect that her child be cared for by a nanny to his/her standards, not to the nanny's personal standards.

But if the employers' standards are daft?

My experience was that there were more employers looking for good nannies than vice versa btw.

I don't get this cooking fresh and then freezing stuff.

I have no scientific evidence for this, except my own experience, but frozen food reheated feels somehow heavier in the tummy.

A simile meal can take 15 minutes to cook from scratch. A perfect time for wine for adults and a few nibbles for the family around the kitchen table.

I don't think that anyone in this country can be in doubt that it is recommended that children eat freshly prepared food at every meal, whatmeworry. Hardly "daft", even more particularly when a FT nanny has only one child to take care of.

Nanny sounds unbelievably slack!

The OP asks "Any strong opinions"?

That'sw hat gave me the biggest laugh actually - this is MN and OF COURSE there will be strong opinions.

Tbh OP it depends how strongly YOU feel about this. Is it vital that the nanny cooks fish for your DD or can you cope with incorperating this into your family meals together?

It does depend on how she is with everything else, if she is fab in every other respect then it's not worth losing her over. If on the other hand this is the latest in a long line of difficulties it might be that you and she are not destined to gel and both of you might be happier with a different emplyer/employee.

And you can get good quality fish fingers - or even make your own to be cooked which might disguise the smell of fish.

I was the nanny who said I would do this and I wouldn't do that. I had no problems getting well paid employment from people that valued me. I am still friends with some of my former charges and their parents and they have visited me, been in my wedding and held my babies. I was very straight ahead of time about what I did and didn't do and how I structured my days and organised my time. Sometimes this did not mesh with the family I was interviewing with and I'd tell them that I thought they were looking for a different kind of nanny.

I was far from slack, but I don't cook food that makes me vomit. It wasn't a big deal to the families I worked for.

I didn't boss families around but I was an experienced, knowledgeable nanny. I'd like to think that sometimes my families taught me new tricks and sometimes I taught them and it was a team effort with parents and nannies, not servant and master relationship. I think some of them hired me because I was a self-starter and didn't need too much direction.

oh and frankly if this is important enough to you that you would consider letting someone go over it, it should have come up in the interview, not now. It is not good for children to have too much change in their lives.

That seems to me how it should be done, Hopandaskip. If you are a good nanny you are not going to have any problems getting work. You have to allow for the fact that a lot of employers will have daft notions and you can make it plain that you are not doing it.
I agree with the team effort and Bonsoir's 'domestic staff' puts my back up for a start! If it isn't a team effort, with give and take, they can go elsewhere and find 'domestic staff' that they can bully.

If someone is going to get rid of a nanny just because of one petty detail they can't really be thinking of the DC'S needs. The DC needs continuity more than fish-which the mother can cook on the nanny's day off.

I don't think that anyone in this country can be in doubt that it is recommended that children eat freshly prepared food at every meal, whatmeworry.

Eh? How does "won't cook fresh fish instead of fish fingers" become "wont cook fresh food, evah?"

exoticfruits - I don't work "in a team" with people I pay to do domestic or childcare jobs. I am their boss and give them directions to do work to my standards!

And I wouldn't work for you in any capacity, Bonsoir. Luckily it is my choice. I would weed you out at the interview stage.

If I am good enough to be left in sole charge of your DC, as a fully qualified nanny, I would expect to be part of a team.

I have always had excellent relationships with people who work for me, exoticfruits. Good employees appreciate role clarity and respect for one another's different skill sets!

I don't get this cooking fresh and then freezing stuff.

You must have lots of time on your hands then! I often cook double the amount and freeze half.

If she is cooking just for one 18month DC I can't see the point in cooking such a tiny amount. Much better to do a bulk cook with the fish anyway and freeze in small portions. Otherwise you are throwing a lot away or giving the DC a portion that is too big.

Luckily you choose the right people for you then Bonsoir. It would become fairly clear in an interview whether they fall into the right category, and as I say I would weed you out.

I have a confession to make..........

I am a nanny and I won't cook fish (not the ops nanny) the smell makes me vomit. I can just about stand the smell of fish fingers, fish cakes and tuna although they also make me feel ill.

My lovely MB doesn't expect me to cook fish for my charges because she knows it makes me ill and therefore cooks it at the weekends, I do occasionally make them tuna pasta bake, and we now get ready made fishcakes that I will cook BUT even a reheated fish pie makes me sick. It has never been a problem as they still eat a healthy diet which includes fish at the weekends, if my MB insisted I cooked fresh fish I would have to leave, not because i resented being told what to do but because I really couldn't do it.

For what its worth the phrase "the nanny" doesn't bother me that's what I am and I am proud to be a Nanny but my bosses get really cross when people say it and insist I am either refered to by name or as X and X's nanny

OP if your nanny is good in every other way and your child is happy, is it really such a big deal?

Ok I'm a Nursery Nurse, NNEB, Nanny, I don't mind what you call me - I look after other peoples [and my own] children, and have done for 25 years.

If you feel that strongly put it in the contract.

The nurturing and care of the child, the love and understanding of the child, the want to be with the child is the most important feature of anyone working with children.

If someone didn't want to cook fresh fish, I'd cook it on their day off [assuming you're not so stuck in the 1800's that you allow a day off], some people love the fact they have 'staff', and are able to bark orders to them in a way they would never get away with anywhere else in society.

When their children grow up and tell them they loved their Nanny more then them they'll wonder why - because they just don't get it.

Respect is a double edged sword, if you can do a better job of raising your child, then do it yourself. Many people find the job this the hardest job of all,because it is, but slag off those who do it so well they choose to take it on as a career.

I've seen it before, worked for people like it before and no doubt will carry on doing so. Don't kid yourself that we don't all laugh about it, we see the mess you make of it all when we get back to work - and you're children are more loyal to us, and tell us all about 'when Mummy shouted at Daddy because she didn't realise the steriliser didn't wash the bottles too'!!

"The nurturing and care of the child, the love and understanding of the child, the want to be with the child is the most important feature of anyone working with children."

No it's not! This is just emotional blackmail to allow nannies to get away with murderously low professional standards.

You are after a fight and I'm not.

Great, get yourself a child hater, sounds like you'll have a grand old time together.

A qualified Nanny has had training - I had to have nothing in order to be a mother.

Enjoy winding up others, I'm too busy for this.