Is the head a bit U? Or am I?

[EyeOfNewtToeOfFrog]

DD (7, y3) is bright but can be a very difficult child at times. However, her school are really not helping matters - I think they have lost all sense of proportion with disciplining her.

Last week DD bought a Practical Joke book from the school book fair. The following day she smuggled the rude-noise-making putty into school (against my express instruction) and played a prank on one of the break supervisors (who happens to be her close friend's mum): "Oooh, is that you farting, Mrs X?"

DD was promptly hauled into the head master's office for a chat about 'inappropriate' behaviour It was described as a 'serious event' to us parents. We obviously backed to school up 100% to DD's face, but privately I'm wondering if that wasn't a SLIGHT overreaction from school. She's 7 and bought the offending item at school FFS!

What are the school doing to give you the impression that they have labelled her as the naughtiest girl in the school?

Ime, schools are generally quite good at trying to avoid children being labelled, and I know we work particularly hard with one boy and his class to counteract the negative attention he brings on himself that enables the children to see him being told off a lot.

I have read the thread, op, and I see that being "very bright, too bright for her own good" (whatever that means), has now morphed into special needs, although none have been diagnosed. You wrote the post, I just commented on the story as told.

I do see what you mean OP and I do think it is a great shame that despite the recommendations of the Ed psych haven't been taken on board. That is wrong and must be incredibly frustrating for you.

On the face of it I agree with many that your DD deserved to be disciplined for this and it was clearly inappropriate but I don't agree that it was a "serious incident". Of course we were not there and so can't comment on the tone of voice or how many other children heard etc.

I work with many children at my school who have subtle difficulties (such as AS and others) and am proud that we take a really positive and constructive and personal approach in helping them manage their behaviour. As a result we have had many children come to our school from other schools where they have been labelled "unteachable", "bullies", "nightmares" and many other labels and we have found that they are not like this at all once they are treated appropriately.

I really hope you can make some headway with the school on this OP. It must be very concerning for you.

That's cheered me up, how funny of your dd but she needed a telling off as school and adults not place for this, to her to play jokes on friends instead. She sounds a really fun kid

That's cheered me up, how funny of your dd but she needed a telling off as school and adults not place for this, to her to play jokes on friends instead. She sounds a really fun kid

Cherriesarelovely - I wish DD was in your school!! Thanks for posting - I'm glad I'm not deluded in thinking there must be a better way.

thebody - thanks for making me smile! :)

outraged - that's what schools say. Yet everyone base their opinions on what schools actually do. They keep punishing her and talking about how 'we must get her behaviour under control'.

floggingmolly - I can completely see why you're sceptical - even I find DD's issues confusing and complex. Her IQ was tested as 140 (both verbal and non-verbal), which sounds great from a learning potential POV - except that it doesn't translate into high achievement, emotional maturity or the desire to please the teacher. (The school failing to recognise her academic learning potential despite the test results is a different thread entirely!) The problem is compounded by DD being emotionally about a year behind according to the tests - so she has the emotional understanding, maturity and impulse control of a 6-year-old - whilst having a near-grown-up ability to reason, argue and cover up her tracks when in trouble. That's what I call "too smart for her own good".

I also think the high intelligence is masking the mild LD. So if you ask her "how is X feeling when you do that" - she can work out the answer intellectually, based on the description of the situation (obv. afterwards) - but she does not recognise other people's feelings easily in the heat of the moment, i.e. intuitively, like most people. This is what I wish school would see!

The high intelligence also means she is able far too easily to cover up her social confusion with lies. (Unless school start seeing this and co-operating more effectively, I can only see this problem getting worse in the future!) And I know she is not doing any of this out of malice as she is not ever accused of bullying, for example.