To be perturbed that a woman felt compelled to come into a coffee shop today with the sole purpose of telling my 9 year old son ...

[QuintessentialyHollow]

"You will become fat" with an evil grin.

After his terrible migraine attack last weekend, we had an optical appointment today, so I took him out from school quarter past two. He was really worried about the appointment, and the optician was very thorough. It took half an hour. We went to a coffee shop for a snack, as we then had a 30 minute walk up to his tutor, where he was going to do one more hour of learning. It is important that he eats on regular intervals. He is skinny as a rake, and usually eats little and often.

So, we shared a ham and cheese panini, he had a rasberry water, and a chocolate muffin. We were sitting on bar stools, looking out the window, eating. By then it was 3 pm, and he had not eaten since lunch time at 12, dinner would be at 6pm.

So, a woman was looking at him from the bus stop outside. She suddenly opened up the door, came in and said something to him. He did not respond, and she left. I asked my son, "what did she say to you?"

"You will become fat"

How on earth can a total stranger make such a comment to a child?

I didn't mean to sound attacking towards you, the comments over feeding your DS are uncalled for.

Tbh quint you do seem to have attracted some odd ones on this thread not me, I'm perfectly normal I am don't know why!

Crikey, op yanbu! Others are being a bit weird and sometimes funny.

Quint, you have read my posts wrong, because of the nasty posts about you feeding your DS, which is a perfectly reasonable act.

The Weirdo etc statements were from other people's posts.

If you two were sitting on stools looking out the window and she came in just to say that...she's either mentally ill or your son pulled a face at her and she was putting him in his place.

There really is no other explanation no matter how 'normal' she looked.

Fizzy, another thing to pick on.... oh well. Because I translated as accurately as I could into English what I said to him, I did not give a word by word account. I did not call the woman strange, but her behaviour.

A woman is rude to you, and we have "maybe she has mental health issues and muffins are a trigger for her"

really!!? Nowhere else...

But she wasn't just rude - her behaviour was bizarre. And yes lots of ordinary people have MH problems. But MH problems can lead to bizarre behaviour.

Much sympathy for your ds. I suffered from migraines from very early in childhood (although i didn't call them that until mid-teens. Up until then I called them sick headaches).
They've never been triggered by 'trigger' foods. They've always been triggered by hunger especially when combined with being tired. I got so bad at one stage I got scared to leave the house and wouldn't attend parties that went on late, or sleepovers with my friends, or anything where mealtimes were uncertain, in case I got hungry and over-tired and ended up with one.
And then I started to carry around chocolate bars (cereal bars with choc chips in, or similar). A hit of sugar fast if I felt one coming on would often delay it long enough for me to get tablets and/or some decent food in.
I still carry cereal bars with me, and I still get the same desperate cravings for sweet foods when one kicks off.
So if your ds turns out to be anything like me (no reason why he would of course!) then a mid-afternoon snack could be exactly what he needs to keep a migraine from developing, especially if he was going on to tutoring.
(And according to the British Migraine Association, or whatever they call themselves nowadays, low blood sugar is one of the most common factors in migraines so it's definitely not PFB to carry food round for him).

Troisgarcon must have seen my rather troubled post from sunday last week, when we spent the day in A&E. He must think me very strange for following doctors advice of seeing GP and optician urgently.

Maybe you could have shot back -

" So then he can diet, but you'll always be a tactless scrote ... "

She wasn't just rude...she entered the coffee shop just to say that to the child and then walked out.

That's just weird unless as I said, perhaps he pulled a face...mucking about or something?

What a very mean thing to say to a child. I would be feeling the same as you op. I don't think I could have kept my mouth shut though, so she's lucky she bumped into you, and not me!

Pffft, another one queuing up to -mis-interpret freely? My posts are not post modern paintings, you know? They are pretty straight forward.

babybythesea My Dad gets migraines and he's found the same thing, a round of toast and honey can stave off the worst effects ...

He did not pull a face. We were just sitting eating, chatting and enjoying ourselves. I was just thinking what a rare thing it was, to just sit in a coffee shop, me and him, eat and let the world go by for a bit.

babybythesea, he seems to need food quite often, not a lot, just something, usually an apple or a cereal bar. He feels unwell if it is too long between the meals. Nausea and headaches. I guess this is the beginning for him. Thanks for confirming what I thought about snack supplies.

Well, personally, I think the woman was very rude (I try not to diagnose mental illness second hand on online forums if I can avoid it).

I also think that your DS is very lucky to have a Mum who has been so on the ball, both in terms of his possible migraines, and getting him help to catch up academically.

Apologies for not following Trois' rules for AIBU by abusing you without the facts still bitter about the Tax Credits thread about 70 years ago

Woman acted strangely. Who knows why? These things happen all the time to MNers, it doesnt really matter.

Migraines are horrendous so I hope he gets it sorted, can I ask, why do you need to meet him at the gate with a snack? Isnt he allowed to take one in with him? Seems odd if not and something to talk to the school about?

Thanks.

Personally I would think it was quite insulting to have a mental illness diagnosis based on one incident of "strange" behaviour, by a lay person, and especially second hand, over the internet....

Ah the crazy folk. Sounds like he has had a run in with one of them.

DS1 who is almost 8 knows about the crazy folk. Sometimes people are crazy, best to just smile and nod and not let them worry you.

I would just like to say that my use of the term 'Crazy Folk' is not meant to represent those people with mental health issues. Crazy folk are a special breed all to themselves and include perfectly NT people who are nonetheless Crazy.

OP, YANBU, but there isn't much you can do either than let him know about the Crazies and teach him the nod and smile technique.

I dont go to school every day with a snack! I bring him one on a Monday when he has a tutorial from 4 to 5. The snack usually consist of an apple, a cereal bar and a drink of water. On other days, he just comes home for dinner!

I don't see how it matters whether it's 'insulting' or not unless she happens to be reading it.

Also, if someone's behaviour is that bizarre, I don't think it's a huge conclusion to jump to.

I should add, the tutorial is outside school, I need to bring him there. It is half an hour walk.