to tell an elderly gent to f*ck off

[Helenfellows33]

i was on a family day out on a steam train and on the way home an infirm old man got on with his carer. she left shortly after and he was on his own in his wheelchair with me and my dh and dc's. this journey was about an hour long and ds being cranky started to cry. and the old man turned to him and shouted at him to be quiet boy. at this i told him to shut the fuck up and a list of words i cant mention here. dh backed me up although i was telling a friend later she said he was ok too this as he was old, we are now not speaking cause of this. AIBU for doing that to an elderly person.

I cannot put it off any longer...have a life and must get on with it...will check back later in the hope that the op has realised the error or her ways or we actually have the truth!

I must leave also, but I will be back at lunchtime to see if the OP has told us
a list of words that are to harrowing unmentionable for MN.
b What her husband did/said to back her up.
c What the threat was
and
d if she's ever been on Germy Vile.

So who thinks "old git" is going to go down in mumsnet history as being more abusive than "cunt"?

OP You were the abusive one. You didnt even try the ever popular passive agressive stance, you just went straight in with the foul language.

Fail.

soverylucky-apparently handsome swain is big and hard and not afraid of anyone cos "nobody speaks to mah family like that"

I am intruigued as to what threat an 80+ year old disabled man in a wheelchair could possibly have posed to two adults including a fit and healthy youngish male.

I disagree everlong.

I think the OP wanted to court controversy a bit while seeking some vindication for her behaviour by way of a few YANBUs. After all, we're all pottymouth man haters on here, right?

Fab use of 'boy', very period drama.

Was the old guy in a wicker bath chair, covered in a blanket?

Did he offer your DS a Worthers Original, OP?

What a right load of old bollocks

do NOT pee in the bath!!!!

Isn't urea good for the feet?

Can't see 'Tosser' being strong enough for that Headmaster, poor bugger :(

when they say eau de toilette they do not mean piss in your bath!

Yeah I hear you everlong that reasoning makes sense. Its clear she doesn't care about whether she is being unreasonable though, just having a big crude ranty moan-up.

I didn't pee in the bath

I got out

well done. now get dressed and get the kettle on and then please come and kick my butt to go grocery shopping.

Maybe the carer was helping looking after other elderly passengers in a different carriage? Maybe she simply couldnt sit with him. And maybe there are rules saying you cannot move a wheelchair on a moving steam train.

There is however NO reason to question the carer, the old man, and their seating arrangements. They have not done anything wrong.

The op said he shouted/said "Be quiet, boy"

That warranted a calm and measured "Fuck off you old git".

I cant believe how nasty some people can be, and that they bring their children up to be nasty people as well. I can only assume that OP has it from her own parents.

The fact that the op still does not think she did anything wrong is beyond belief actually.

This thread must be a windup.

@ Worthers Original.

This is reminding me of another MNers thread. She was on a train with her delightful, profoundly deaf son. A chap who was trying to sleep did a "Shhh" gesture when her child was loud. She did not lauch a full-scale verbal assault at him.

Man smiled and said, "well seeing as I am awake, you can jolly-well teach me some sign-language", and a lovely time was had by all.

And he was quite fit too.

Now I'm in love with Creepy's man on the train as well as Jeremy Paxman.

all he said was be quiet boy in a very agressive tone to my son. which made him cry harder.

if ds was a naughty child and was causing havoc he could have said something CALMLY my reaction was directly because of this. i dont go shouting mouth off in everyday life.

you cant judge someones character for one instance.

as for school that would be acceptable if he has been naughty. in my book tired and cranky is not.

you are all assuming the man was a kindly person he was not.

When DS2 was about 9 mths old we were sitting in my PIL church when DS started being fussy and a bit vocal. I was trying to bf to keep him quiet but he wasn't having it. About 5 minutes into the service a woman about 2 rows back tapped me on the shoulder and said aggressively that I should keep DS quiet so other people could hear. I didn't feel I had any choice but to leave the room which I did because I was worried that everybody else thought the same.

The point of the story is that I didn't say a word to that woman, I just withdrew from the situation but several people came up to me after the service to say how awful the woman had been and how sorry they were that I was made to feel unwelcome. Several people went and told her what they thought of her too. By swearing at the undeniably rude old man you totally lost the moral high ground and I expect the sympathy of a lot of the people who heard the exchange in the carriage. You behaved badly and imo foolishly by letting the old man get the better of you.

I also reckon that your DH didn't really back you up because he didn't say a word. I reckon that although he appreciated your sentiment in standing up for your DS you embarrassed him with your vulgar outburst.

"if a stranger shouted at your DC would you sit there and do nothing?"

Well, your DH husband did so I reckon that is proof enough that you went too far.

you cant judge someones character for one instance.

Ey up. You can't wander into AIBU and cry when you are judged to be U.

YOU afterall, asked the question.

Poop and Monkey Butt.

you are all assuming the man was a kindly person he was not.

Not one person on this thread has made that assumption.

Your reaction was not because of the way the man acted. It was because you do not have the manners nor sensibility to handle this kind of situation in a measured and civilised way.