to tell an elderly gent to f*ck off

[Helenfellows33]

i was on a family day out on a steam train and on the way home an infirm old man got on with his carer. she left shortly after and he was on his own in his wheelchair with me and my dh and dc's. this journey was about an hour long and ds being cranky started to cry. and the old man turned to him and shouted at him to be quiet boy. at this i told him to shut the fuck up and a list of words i cant mention here. dh backed me up although i was telling a friend later she said he was ok too this as he was old, we are now not speaking cause of this. AIBU for doing that to an elderly person.

Ahhhhhhhhh

You and your DH, as an able bodied, youngish couple in a public space, in broad daylight, felt threatened by the tone of voice used by an elderly, disabled man in a wheelchair accompanied by a carer.

I'd have been terrified so I totally see where you are coming from

For the love of Mary and the orphans, OP, why do you keep repeating yourself?

I prescribe a lie down, namechange and a 24hr MN hiatus for you.

I thought the same exoticfruits. My Grandmother has Alzheimer's and gets irritated very easily... she can also appear to be quite aggressive. Before she was ill, she would never have dreamed of telling a child off for crying, now she would because she can't cope with the noise and has little impulse control.

I've still never heard her swear at anyone though....

I love to swear. I hate the fact that havign to go to work and being around my kids cuts down on my sweary time.

But if you swear at someone, you make yourself worse than them; whatever they say to you first. By all means have some stern words- without shouting, but keeping the moral high ground always means you come away without feeling dirty.

late to thread but yabu and you sound like a nasty bully

YABU for swearing at him. I have a DS who has legendary meltdowns, usually in Tescos. Sometimes comforting him works but sometimes I have to let him just go through it. Ive had one comment like "cant you keep him quiet" or whatever it was, IIRC I replied "Ive never tried that, thanks for the suggestion" and just rolled my eyes and walked off.

So he was rude IMO, but you lost any argument for getting all sweary with him.

So you didn't "shout" this horrible insult at this man.

Which leads me to conclude that you were in charge of your temper.

Yet you chose to be very abusive?

Seems to me then that you don't think telling someone to "fuck off you old git" is abusive.

You post a thread asking if you were being unreasonable.

Unanimous response: You were.

You are an idiot.

Yes, what did your husband say or did he just sit there all meek and mild?

I'm dying to know what her hubby said also. These two sound like quite the pair.

What worries me more is what you are teaching your children about how they should behave. I can imagine you are the kind of mother who would actively encourage a child to escalate a situation further, say a little scuffle in the playground, so that you and your family can have 'bragging rights' about winning.

You behaved really shamefully op, EVERY member of mumsnet who has posted on this thread has told you that, as well as your real life friend.

Have you considered anger management perhaps? You clearly have issues controlling your temper.

Goosey @ 10:54
He couldn't move away from the crying child; I can understand the frustration but not his behaviour. The carer could have helped him move away. Problem solved.

For you OP

Peppermint. I have some legal wranglings on the horizon. Would you consider representing me?

She said aaaaages ago that her husband defended her in the face of such grave and present danger.

Which arouses my curiosity as to what exactly he said to this terrifying old man.

Good grief, you still don't get it, do you?

Nothing, but nothing gives you, or anyone else, the right to speak to another person like that. Nothing. No matter what has been said. Do you understand that bit now?

And then you factor in the fact that it was in front of your child, other people and their families, and your DH backed you up.

What did he say?

Of course ViviPru

I forgot to slam down the gavel at the end though

[GRIN] sorry lucky

stupid brackets fail

at this i told him to shut the fuck up and a list of words i cant mention here

Poop. Monkey Butt.

Hmm, words you can't say on MN.... Maybe she called him hun?

She's never going to tell us what her Husband said incase it makes her look even more of a tit worse than she already does.

i hate it when i witness things like this, i always want to kidnap the child and save them. imagine being brought up by someone who shouts and swears at people on a train?

you just know everyone on the train was muttering or thinking, 'those poor children' or 'some people shouldn't have kids' etc.

I lament having to do the nursery run now.