to wonder how people can justify smoking during pregnancy?

[Archemedes]

I know this is an emotive thread, and I'm not talking about people who try and cut down slowly I'm talking about people who make no effort to stop.

How do people justify that?

Where I live I see alot of it and suprisingly its not mainly 'chavyy women' as people would think.

AIBU to wonder why someone wouldnt even try to stop?

Wait, whatcarecrhevrisks during pregnancy if you're Rhesus Negative?

Does not applaud Flora, as is more than a walking uterus and did not give up all autonomy when discovered pregnancy. And surely all this judginess is no good for our foetuses, MNers. Racing heart rates and all that. So if you really truly cared about your babies, you wouldn't be hoiking your judgeypants quite so high. You'd be willing to sacrifice a bit of delicious outrage. It's only nine months after all.

In all seriousness, some of the stuff on this thread is worrying. On MN we've learned from people who actually work in the field (and know a bit more than the average blowhard) that getting all condemnatory of pregnant women who make poor health choices doesn't assist in changing those choices. I hope those who judge pregnant smokers care more about the health of the foetuses than condemning the mothers. As such, the best option for such people is to tone down the judgeypants, like it or not. It seems that some of us are unable to make that link, though. Nobody enjoys seeing pregnant women smoke. But I'm aware that my own behaviour towards them may influence the likelihood of quitting, and tailor it accordingly.

Not read whole thread but it terms of overweight/obese thing what happens if pregnancy isn't planned as in my case. NHS has made me feel awful giving me a leaflet basically telling me all these can happen because I am overweight/obese. Bit late now isn't it? At least a smoker can stop smoking but apparently damage is already done for me. Although I will be limiting weight gain in pregnancy.

Hoiking judgeypants can cause stress and quickening heartbeats, Everlong. Neither of those things are good for the foetus. I'm only trying to help...

I think you might have missed the point rather, Everlong.

But even so, your argument is nonsensical. This is why. Some things that are avoidable are bad for the foetus. Some of these things may well be worse than others, but that doesn't make the less harmful things not harmful. So I'm afraid if people pillory pregnant women for engaging in one, they can't get upset when they get pilloried for engaging in another. Those who try to excuse themselves by arguing that it's ok for them to engage in an avoidable, harmful thing because some other avoidable things might be more hamful are just copping out, I'm afraid.

hoiks up judgeypants and tuts at selfish uncaring mothers

Hang on, hang on!
So because I decide to protect my unborn baby by my own choice that makes me a walking uterus with no autonomy??? What an interesting statement.
But like I said in my post, I decided to get pregnant, therefore I also decided to avoid risks as much as I can.
My DD (15m) was born prematurely without any explainable medical reason for it so I am fully aware that bad things can happen even if you are careful (or as you say it a walking uterus) but at least I can be confident in the matter that during the 7 months my DD was in my uterus I did not intentionally do anything that might have harmed her. That in itself gave me hope when I saw her struggle the first weeks of her life.
I voiced my opinion, judgeypants aren't even out of the cupboard yet but will go and get them soon!
If you are pregnant you are supposed to sacrifice things, especially things that may harm your baby...or you!

Simple.

Not read the thread because I've seen the argument before, but I would like to know how smoking during pregnancy causes cot death, please, if someone would be kind enough to tell me :)

boomer I don't think they know , boys are at higher risk of cot death than girls. They don't know for sure why that is either.

Yes Everlong you have. I hate having to spell out piss taking, it always makes it less funny. But c'est la vie. It is true though, in all seriousness, that both smoking and the stress caused by getting into pissing matches on the internet are avoidable. If you think it's ok to moralise at others about one, you can't get too upset if others do the same to you. either you accept the principle or you don't. Me, I don't think either approach is helpful. Your behaviour is a good example of that. When I pointed out to you that you voluntarily did something that doesn't help a foetus, you got defensive, refused to accept it and did more of it. That's a natural response. It's quite often what pregnant smokers do. Hence we need to acknowledge that it isn't the best way to achieve the desired outcome.

As it happens though, yes I do think I'm more important than my foetus. I think that's true of all pregnant women actually, but I'd defend the right of other women to make that decision about and for themselves. I, however, am more than my uterus.

Flora nope that's not what I said. I have no problem with you making and telling us about your choices during your pregnancy, I do have a problem with the attitude you display towards the rest of us. Your sentence 'if you decide to bring a baby into the world then take responsibility from the start' is very definitely judgeypants. I object to that not only on the moral grounds that my pregnancy is none of your concern, but also because it leads pregnant smokers, drinkers, obese women TTC etc to be more defensive.

I smoked throughout pregnancy the same way I did before and after - a few a day in the privacy of my own garden. Don't really feel guilty about it [shrug] DS turned out happy and healthy. Could it have been different? Sure ... so could a lot of other things. I tend not to let fear of certain unknowns (or should that be known yet not realised) rule my thoughts or my life.

HTH.

thats great J4w However i've noticed alot of brazen preganant smokers are 'well my ds was ok'
god forbid the preganancy had turned out differently how would you have lived with the fact complications would have laregly pointed to your smoking??.

*largely

Rub myself in ashes whilst wearing sackcloth for the rest of my days ...

Actually, that's a lie. I would have lived with it the same way I live with every other mistake I've made in my life - get over it and get on with it.

Again, HTH.

People justify it in all sorts of ways because - for whatever reason - they feel unable to stop.

It's as simple as that.

Addiction messes with your moral codes, which is why people who are addicted to various substances sometimes/often do things which are directly harmful or just highly inconsiderate to those they love.

I'm actually baffled how someone could actually be so blaise but each to their own.

Im always amazed at how many people 'defend' women who smoke when preg. I have no such sympathy and find women who smoke when preg pretty vile and utterly selfish. I smoked before children so I know the addiction of smoking but still, if you want to carry a baby you should not poison them with cigarettes

Disgusting

Everlong your assertion is wrong, as I have mentioned several times that smoking whilst pregnant is harmful. I suspect you assume that because I've identified the hypocrisy and unhelpfulness of your stance, that must mean I smoke too.

J4W - rubbed myself in ashes - not a great choice of words. You made yourself sound an utter twat there.

I stopped smoking when I found out I was pg. I would have been eaten up with guilt if anything had happened to my unborn child. Giving up smoking is hard, I can understand why some don;t manage it. I will never understand those who don't try.