To ask the nursery about grace?

[Stangirl]

My DD (2) attends a nursery 2 days a week - since last October. I am very happy with the nursery and love the way the staff are with the kids. DD seems very happy there.

They just had a Mother's Afternoon where the mums were invited in to attend a music and movement session, facepainting, playing, tea with the kids. I went along and it was lovely apart for one thing - one of the children was asked to say grace before the sandwiches and said a few words thanking god. I was shocked by this as I had believed them to be non-religious - teaching and celebrating all festivals etc but not active worshipping. As an avowed atheist I am quite perturbed.

Would you ask them if this is usual and if they are teaching them grace?

Haven't read whole thread.

I'd just have a word with nursery saying that whilst it doesn't bother you too much, it would have been nice to know, via the prospectus/some other means at the choosing nursery stage, that this was one of the routines, as perhaps it could potentially really upset someone not to be told if they felt very strongly about this issue.

In the US, where public (state) schools are completely secular, with religion discussed only in the context of history class or sociology and no such thing as religious ed, religious-run schools do a roaring trade, at both elementary and high school level. Religious groups that are serious about teaching the children of their flocks about their religious tradition run classes for children outside of school hours, both for general religious ed and sacramental preparation. People sign up for them and often have to pay. People pay to send their children to the faith schools.

HalfPastWine -- There are no catchment areas for faith schools in the US. Catchment areas only apply to the public schools, because they are funded by local taxes. Catchment areas are rigorously enforced. As a result of this, many children who would otherwise be forced to attend a local terrible public school (mainly in inner city areas) are sent instead at great cost and often great inconvenience, long commuting times, etc., to a Catholic school even if those children are not Catholic. Generally, Catholic schools offer financial aid to students whose families cannot meet the tuition bill.

exoticfruits, it would have bothered me greatly if my daughter had developed a theist belief system. As an atheist I've always tried to foster an attitude of enquiry in her, and to discount ideas lacking in credible evidence, so if she'd embraced supernatural or paranormal beliefs I would feel I'd failed to foster the development of her curiosity and ability to enquire and follow logical argument.

I agree totally with the foster an attitude of enquiry. Where I don't agree is expecting her to come to the same conclusion.

It is a matter of faith. Some scientists have a faith and some don't. To me faith -or lack of it-is a private matter and nothing to do with my mother! If she feels that she had failed to foster the right attitude that is her problem and not mine.

I will copy my favourite part of the poem on children by Kahlil Gibran-one more time and then shut up!

'Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.'

I firmly believe it. They are not yours to tell them how to think. Guide-but you have not failed if they happen to end up thinking differently.

If you choose to send your child to a non-religious school then religion shouldn't come into it at all.

Only one more word. This is the entire problem. They are non-denominational they are not non-religious. I'm sure people would fight it more if they understood it!
You cannot send your DC to a secular school in England-there aren't any.

(and yes-I agree there should be a choice)

Mathanxiety - that is what I see happening here. Education could become secular but the government/taxes will only stretch so far. It will become the case where parents have no choice than to send some children to faith schools therefore exposing them again to a religious environment which they didn't want in the first place. Only this time they will have been seen to have chosen the environment rather than being forced into as they currently see themselves being with C of E state schools.

Thank you for the poem exotic.

"I firmly believe it. They are not yours to tell them how to think. Guide-but you have not failed if they happen to end up thinking differently."

I ABSOLUeLY agree!!!!!! Which is why I don't want an authority figure in my child's life telling him or her that Christianity is the norm and other faiths or non faith is the opt out position!

How can I say that that would make it clearer? Sometimes I think I must be accidentally speaking Greek.

At least they will know from the outset what they are getting into. Catholic schools in the US make no bones about telling prospective parents what that entails. Sending your child to a British state school, otoh, means you may be in for a surprise. There are many parents in Britain who have no choice right now.

It's such a shame when schoolchildren are divided along religious lines through. The X's go to the school for X's, and the Y's go to the school for Y's...

Unfortunately with the free schools coming in, it seems that faith schools will be more prevalent than ever. Only presumably anyone can take over one and preach as they please - Billy Graham types, Scientologists, the lot.

It's all fine and dandy when you can assume 'Nothing to worry about. It's only the CoE. Where's the harm?' When you realise that you are faced with excluding your child from school-wide prayer in a school where values are very different from yours you start to see the issue that atheists are dealing with.

Yes, you can just see it, can't you. Tom Cruise rings up David Cameron and says 'Hey Dave, I'll bung a few million into your state education budget if you push through the plans for that new Free School I think's a damn fine idea. I'll even throw in the Head Teacher's salary'...

Unfortunately with the free schools coming in, it seems that faith schools will be more prevalent than ever

Yes, this is true. And with this being the case the government are not going to fund more state schools when they know self funding faith schools can pick up the tab.

It could be that atheists will have to fund their own 'atheists' schools too.

So - everyone's a winner then