To ask the nursery about grace?

[Stangirl]

My DD (2) attends a nursery 2 days a week - since last October. I am very happy with the nursery and love the way the staff are with the kids. DD seems very happy there.

They just had a Mother's Afternoon where the mums were invited in to attend a music and movement session, facepainting, playing, tea with the kids. I went along and it was lovely apart for one thing - one of the children was asked to say grace before the sandwiches and said a few words thanking god. I was shocked by this as I had believed them to be non-religious - teaching and celebrating all festivals etc but not active worshipping. As an avowed atheist I am quite perturbed.

Would you ask them if this is usual and if they are teaching them grace?

As an aside, I have always wondered about Grace. It is interesting that people are thankful to a deity (also not i before e) for something that is done in 99% of cases by a women (food production and cooking). Curious that God gets thanked but not the person who did the work. Just saying.

All schools have to have a 'daily act of collective worship'. In primary usually this is praying and singing in assembly. In secondaries it doesn't normally happen for logistical reasons and they seem to get away with it, usually by occasionally having a thought for the day type thing. You can remove your child from it though, like you can from RE lessons.

Yes Shak - but parents can take their children out of the religious worship in schools. For me the issue here is that the nursery have not told the OP that grace has being said and so she did not have the choice to choose another nursery, ask for their child not to be part of it, or accept it.

It would depend on the wording of the grace.

I would be happy with "thank you for the food we are about to eat." which is more of a contemplative general thanks. I'd be a bit about a "thank you god for providing the food", which is thanking a specific deity.

IMO asking children to think about the people that have enabled the food to be there is fine, but asking them to thank a god - especially if not all are religious is not; and again if parents have not been advised of this ritual.

And for the record, I am a believer - Christianity for preference

You are a devout Atheist. What about your DD? At 2 years old, I imagine she has yet to choose a religion to follow (or to become an Atheist). Therefore, it is actually nice for her to be exposed to religions and their traditions in order for her, in time, to decide whether she wants to follow a religion and if so, which one.

Or have you decided for her that she is an Atheist too?

Fwiw, I am an Atheist. My DD can follow a religion if she chooses. Or not.

Y'know, primary schools/nurseries generally sing hymns and do an Easter festival too.

I'm an atheist and at ds1 nursery they do some sort of little song about god before lunch. It doesn't bother me at all, I'm not sure why it would because I don't believe in any religion.

I don't think that ds will be "converted" by saying a prayer before lunch as this is only a small part of his life. He knows that different people believe different things and he's fine with that. If he does want to be converted at some point, it's up to him and that won't worry me either.

In fact I don't think it's a bad thing to say a few words about being grateful for the food you eat, whether it's to a god or not it makes you stop and think.

For me, the default position is atheism. If children weren't told about religion, they wouldn't magically develop it. They would have no belief in a deity. One of the reasons I don't want this stuff presented as fact to my DD.

You need to remove this child from nursery immediately and report to Ofsted. They are clearly attempting to brainwash your child and she is at risk

All 2 year olds are atheists, since they lack the capacity to understand made up sky friends organised religion of any kind.

Exactly Gilgamesh, so what's the problem then?

I do have to disagree, MrsTerryPratchett. They, like so many others, may grow up questioning their origin and the origin of the world. They may then seek to find answers and find religion gives them the answers. I think it makes for a well-rounded person to know that others have beliefs and why they wear certain clothes, or why there are certain buildings people go to, or why Easter and Christmas are primarily celebrated.

I really don't think that if children were not told about religion they would grow up Atheists.

I had the same problem, I asked the nursery if they might consider changing the last line of the "grace" from "thank you God for everything" to "we give thanks for everything" which can be interpreted any way individuals want and excludes no-one.
They were absolutely delighted and thanked me for suggesting it. That was years ago and as far as I know they are still using it.... I was sh***g myself about asking, but I am really glad I did.

Hidden - tbh that is a bit of a sarky response to a genuine enquiry. A bit unnecessary imo

children are born believers in God

Sarky? I get fed up with hysterical atheists claiming that any exposure to religion whatsoever is going to turn their child into a deluded, gibbering idiot

What exactly are these people so afraid of?

OP, do you celebrate Christmas ?

The problem is that I wouldn't appreciate anyone telling my children to say silly prayers. Religion is an individual thing, not something to be pushed on to others, and if I have not given you permission to fill my childs head with nonsense, I'd rather you didn't.

Teaching children about others religion is not at all the same thing as making them recite prayers to deities. I'm surprised anyone with enough IQ to type properly can't see the difference.

I don't think that hidden. But surely parents should have a choice at nursery about what their children are exposed to? The OP didn't know this was happening, so had no choice at all.

How would they treat their children if they returned home asking if they could go to church or attend a Mass? Would they have a blue fit and forbid them from ever mentioning it again?

and its not that I think your religious nonsense will turn my child into one of your gang, I'd just rather you didn't talk about your imaginary friends to my offspring. Its inappropriate as well as dull.

OP, I went to a very strict Christian school which was notorious in my local area for defending creationism over evolution (including it's science teachers). I am an atheist. You should be concerned with showing your DD that she is free to believe whatever she chooses about religion, and make up her own mind, than shield or shelter her from any views but yours.

It would bother me tbh. I take my ds to churches, mosques etc we have many friends who have faith but I don't agree with Him participating in day to day acts of worship. I would also be irritated they had not told you. I personally would mention it but only my opinion

A few prayers aren't going to do any harm. They might even encourage the child to think about things that are outside the small sphere of their existence. We had prayers at school during the 70s and it didn't turn anybody into a religious fanatic.

hidden - You are missing the point! Parents look at many things when choosing a nursery. Some things I would think are ridiculous to worry about, some not. But parents should have the choice.

And older children are very different to a 2 year old.

'I'm surprised anyone with enough IQ to type properly can't see the difference.'

And why would you feel the need to try and put another poster down by saying they're thick gilgamesh?

In YOUR opinion it won't do any harm. So if I worked in a nursery and got your children to do daily satanic worship, you'd be just fine with that? Wouldn't do any harm, just a few dittys praising satan, no bother to you?